and seriously, i rly dislike ppl who self praise.

if it's just a joke, it's fine.

but if it's like for interview and u need to self praise, it's fine too.

cos if u think u're " a beautiful package, full of humor, talent, intelligence and love",

ppl might not think the same way too.

just wadeva it is, i dun like ppl who self praise.

i'm soo impressed by wad u said.

my presence in my life has the greatest impact for me -.-

i'm super exhausted.

sooooo envious when i saw my fren comment that she's so free and nth to do for her fyp ):

cos it's like, i'm slogging my guts out for fyp and she's slacking like abc over dere ):

how i wish i were in her grp. so i can slack too?

but wait...nope. i'd still rather be in my current grp.

at least they're trying v hard to do their things.

i need a long long rest.

but i'm so prepared to end my fyp at 10 PM tmr.

yes. from 9.30 am.

or maybe.. 9 am.

super exhausted.

super shag.

monday's interview will be a kinda small one i guess. 10%

but... still, it's 10 marks.

kinda a high score too.

i wanna slp soon.

bt i cnt.

i needa do some housework too.

but, clothes are still vvvv wet. ):

i cnt do any.

went to slp at 8 ytd.

was super tired that i fell asleep the moment i close my eyes.

and yet, i had to be woken up at 10.30

to see 3 smses and 2 missed calls.

it's like..hey, if i see ur sms and weren't busy,

i'll SURE reply rte?

i didn't reply.

and dere'll be 2 possibility.

busy or asleep.

or maybe even.. didnt check hp.

although being busy has a higher possibility,

you cnt rule out the fact that i'm asleep.

i seriously.. seriously dun understand why u have to call me twice for sth so minor.

it's not like u have to get the answer NOW rite?

plus, no matter how busy i am, or even asleep,

i'd still see ur sms at the end of the day.

unless i saw ur sms and forget to reply, which is possible.

you can still sms me like during afternoon, the nxt day ):

kk fine. maybe i shouldn't even get annoyed for being woken up.

:/

but... i was rly feeling so irritated ytd.

tried to slp.. but cnt.

aft 30mins of tossing ard in bed.

i got up to walk ard the hse and went back to slp.

my mind was super active den.

before wking up, i didnt have a nice and calm slp, to be frank.

but when i was woken up,

my mind was full of grievance, those bad memories of u kept flashing past.

i felt so tired and rly felt like crying but i didnt.

it's like, the past is haunting aft me agn.

so i tried vvv hard to clear my mind and concentrate on slping

but aft 2 hrs, i still cnt slp.

):

and finally, i fell asleep at nearing one am.

what a night.

Sometimes, i'm rly confused.

super confused.

wheneva i see ur effort,

my mind just cnt stop thinking of how bad u were to me last time.

i seriously shouldn't give u chancesssss back den.

i duno why i were still so hopeful.

how silly.

:/

but well,

now when u rly did try..

i just felt that..

you did all these, just cos u felt it's a waste.

maybe, it's cos of other "romantic" reasons but..

i truly, seriously, really felt that..

was u're doing now,

are cos you felt that it's a waste to end things that way,

after 1 yr ++

and.. i'm constantly worrying that u'll shoot ur mouth off,

and saying things, that were so untrue.

so, so unreal.

i seriously cnt stand ur attitude of saying that i felt and even saying things

when i DIDNT.

it happened b4 and the things that u said, regarding wad i said and even feel,

are actually what YOU are feeling and saying.

it's super... "dots"

i noe, u have ur redeeming points too.

and i always, constantly tell myself abt e gd points you have.

but i always failed.

cos, wheneva i tried doing that,

you did sth negative.

sometimes, the reasons, or even excuses that u told me..

are SUPER SUPER CRAP.

i think i should call myself stupid..

to deceive myself into believing u.

though i noe, they are rly craps.

i'm truly very tired.

exhausted.

shagged.

and whatever pool of vocabulary that u can find

it's not once, not twice, not thrice.

it's not even four times. but at least 5 times i think :x

heh.

was irritated ytd nite.

but well, it's okay.

my mood is slowly picking up.

i have loads of things to do, to think abt :D

not gng to let this affect me agn.

JIAYOU :D

anw. i dun feel like talking.

i wanna go kbox :D:D:D

i wanna sing all out

sometimes, i just think

that it hurts to noe tht you tried to salvage when u didn't even cherish in the first place.

i hate myself.

dere's nth redeeming abt me.

i tried.

maybe not hard enough.

but at least, i'm trying.

kk apart from fyp.

i'm trying to become a beta daughter.

trying to curb. and i did :P

i felt so useless, worrying abt it.

stupid CATIA.

why didn't i have this module?

so at least, i can noe a lot more abt it and do sth to contribute.

right now, wad i can do, are those research, report, log book, quotations.

those minor things.

wad my frens do, are those designs.

i wanna help too.

even ideas, i cnt come up wid any.

i noe nuts abt engineering.

even simple ideas, simple thinking..

i oso duno.

i felt so guilty, but they duno.

i wanna help.

tried gng to youtube but cnt learn much too.

yes, at least i noe how to draw a box -.-"

and make holes.

but fyp ain't so easy like doin that.

u need loads more designs.

tssskkkkk.

sometimes i just wondered if i'm doin and speaking the right thing.

you have told and asked me umpteen times.

told you alr, I NOE.

I WILL TRY.

if can, den go. if cnt, den dun force it.

it's okay to repeat urself.

but u're doing it almost everyday :/

u'll see true frens in times of trouble.

thanks :D

i'm so touched. LOL! :D

still, i went to see ur fb.

and teary eyes began :/

i love the twitter's zodiacfact xD

okay, i think this is a vvv late post, but..... still, i wanna thank my frens :D

thank you for all that gave me sth for my bday :D

i noe i have thank u guys b4.. but i still wanna thanks all for wishing me a happy bday.

thanks stan, waiyu, jer for coming down and for e prezzies.

thanks class for the present.

thanks py for the uss and the presentsssssssss.

thanks witch les for the card :D:D:D
many much appreciated :D

and.. went out wid the plurkers tdy :D:D:D
it's a crazy day as usual.

i laughed until stomach's super pain

but when i'm wid kang kong, i wun laugh till that crazy :D

that's gd. cos i can calm down. LOL!!!!

lunched at astons and.. bowled :D

okay, at least my score now is beta than my bowling last time.

but still, i cnt hit my highest score ):

but all in all, it's a super fun time chatting and gng out wid dem.

:D

wonder when will the nxt outing be. and.. i dun have the pics wid me ;x

cnt upload in blog. ;x

and. went to uss ytd for the first time.

the place is nice (:

seriously, it dun gives me the feeling of being in spore.

but dere's nth inside for me to eat ;x

but well. it's still (Y) :D:D:D:D

a super nice experience ^^

life rly sucks. :(

i feel sooooo dependent on ppl now ):

sighs.

pls stop quarreling D:

it truly affect our progress.

plus, u 2 are a couple.

and u should rly curb ur anger.

cos from wad i see, the two of u MAY (not?) be in the wrong BUT

u should truly curb ur anger.

for the beta of our project.

and... for ur r/s

this yr is a year where my gadgets spoil like mad ):
first is one hp. kept spoiling. i kept sending for repair during the first yr warranty.

sent it for repair, one day b4 the warranty ends and received it one day aft warranty ends,

and it spoilt agn :(

so nvm, i use another phone.

this phone seldom spoils.

bt it still spoil aft all ):

now using my previous previous phone D:

eee ): sighs.

but nvm. at least still can use.

at least has camera. cos i need it for sch work.

and now, my comp seems to have prob too ): oh bother bother bother D:

i got sad when u mentioned "tie"

cos it's an unaccomplished task ):

i seriously dun understand guys.

okay, some.

and... LOL. i still felt ur smses weird.

had been ignoring almost all ;x *oops*

HAHA.

like waiyu said .. it's like his fren trying to help him sms ;x

i noe it's not but i too felt that it seems like it

HAHAA

and.. i dun think anyone has a right to insult and criticize when u're angry.

it's seriously super sickening.

things happened for a reason (:

and sometimes, things changed.

and it's normally due to the fact that many things happened,

not just one

speechless

sometimes, i felt so guilty for making ppl's life worse.

and.. u got cut. idk if it's cos of me. but u said it's cos that u're thinking of sth.

):

i'm sorry, bt hmmm. indirectly? HAHA.

i hope i rly did the right thing.

i felt relieved, no doubt.

but dere's sth within me..

which stops me from being totally happy.

but well, i didn't rly feel happy either.

i oso duno how i'm feeling.

i guess, i was feeling to tired to feel anything ;x

heh. btw. it's the holiday !

but well, it still ain't the hols for me.

):

知人知面不知心。

我一向来都很信任你，但是，

日旧见人心。

我自己心知肚明就好 (:

算了。我已看开了许多。

心也已决定了。

many thanks waiyu ((:

wad i rly need is, a fren who'd listen to my sorrows

and giving me opinions.

and i glad i have frens like that.

but i dun dare to keep telling them things.

cos i dun wanna bother them much wid stuffs like that.

cos, i believe that i can think for myself.

it's my life, my future.

i have the absolute right for every single thing that i've decided to do.

nth will sway my determination this time, i hope.

all the best.

加油加油加油！

sometimes, i duno if it's good to be easily happy over little things.

i noe it's gd. but i dun think it is, all the times, rite? :/

life is kinda happy for me, these few days.

cos i rly appreciate things that ppl have done for me.

even if it's just a happy bday wish..

to be frank, i felt so unwanted on the dot of my bday.

i felt soo sad.

but my mood turned for the better when i saw so many wishes in fb.

yes, i'm rly happy to see those wishes.

for as long as i live, dere's sth deep down in me, which is so afraid of things, a certain thing.

i think i knew what it is. i think, i think i knew.

and it just haunts me.

and i rly dun wanna anyone to leave me, esp those that i love.

so that's why, i'm in such a dilemma.

but, if things ain't meant to be, i understand.

and if ppl wanna leave my life, so be it.

i'm so tired of being paranoid everytime.

though i noe, i'm always paranoid.

last nite, i had been thinking..

thinking a lot till i cnt slp.

didnt reply the last sms cos i wanted to be quiet for that particular moment.

eyes wanted to rest, but brain dun.

eyes were so tired, mind too i guess.

but it wun stop operating.

and i had a weird dream. it's weird i noe.

but i cnt rmb wad it is.

i rly dun want anyone to leave me.

though, leaving is part and parcel of life.

i really dun... dun want.

it's irony.

BUT ANW. ALL THE BEST PUP !!!! HOPE U CAN GET IN :D

i'm always slow at things, i noe.

but at least, i'm truly contented wid wad i have.

and i love all my frens *loves*

look at things at another angle and things, truly will be so much beta.

i guess, i'm back to my positive side agn.

like finally :D

i shouldn't have asked for more (:

thank you for tdy :D

谢谢。你们有心了。:D

things ain't always as easy as ABC,

wid so many complications ard (:

I MISS THE PLURKERS

HAHAH i want outing xD but whennnnn???? D:

confused :/

feels so relaxed now xD

but only for now,

cos i needa get back to fyp soon ):
awww. how mood damper D:

but i'll persevere :D:D:D !!

exam is finally over xD

was so happy and went out wid coursemates tdy :D

heard the "train is coming" music agn and i rly felt like laughing.

cos it rly sounds sooo funny ;x

F: you rly laugh so easily hor

S: it's a gd thing wad.

F: ya, easily "containted"

me: *huh? shen me lai de?*

S: is easily contented la.

LOL

F: aiya, it's the same thing

fren took part in NYNY's challenge.

:D and .. i left just 10 b4 the competition ended.

i think he cmi :x HAHA

and went to find waiyu aft that :D

why are u so temperamental?

you changed so fast, that i rly duno wad to do.

just cos of wad?

of sth minor?

den why issit that u have to give attitude.

i'm sure u wun do that to him,

but hey, why me!

always lidat.

to think that i'm still so naive to think that u'll change.

e prob could lie in me too,

but still, u dun have to be lidat.

feel beta now :DD

life sucks, big time ):
i seem to have probs wheneva i go..

okok, everyone else too HAHA

this feeling sucks ttm.

i noe i'll be fine tmr :D

IF I DUN ON HP -.-

had been seeing a lot of craps recently.

tsk. i wanna ignore. but i cnt.

irritating loads.

i hate this -.- TSK.

i hate having second thoughts.

nvm. waiyu !!!

talk to u aft exams.

we discuss :P

HAHAHA :x

LOL

just back home.

went out for a while wid mum.

and it's like.. i forgot it's the seventh month

so i just said "gia liao" (let's go)

and mum was like looking at me *shh dun say that*

i was like *oops* when i heard wad she said.

i went "mai follow"

mum: they dun understand english

me: they dun understand hokkien too :D

had two papers tdy.

theoretical..

and.. my 2 worst subs.

and dere's one more elearning this fri.

one of my worst sub ):

while doin my exams..

sth came into mind.

and i just tot over wad happened.

i just stunned dere.

mind blank, staring in front of me.

it's been 3-4 yrs le.

so long alr.

so long... no pt thinking over it agn rte?

yes i noe. but my mind just wanna think.

wad can i do?

if i have amnesia, things wld be beta.. wouldn't it?

or would it not?

i dun wanna think.

but wheneva i see you, you, you, you, you..... and you.. and....... a lot more of you..

i just think.

i just wanna run away.

just turned my back.

it's so tiring.

to have it haunting aft me.

this is the one thing which i've told no one abt it and dun intend to.

so i can only rant it here.

thanks blog for tking in the "impact"

no one should listen to me. so i tend to keep things to myself :D it's a gd thing too actually. and cos sometimes, i just feel emo suddenly that it'll be so tiring for them to listen to my rantings over and over agn

and sometimes, i just kept thinking....

... if i should give up

argh. idk why. but now, i see everyone so fine ard me.

fine as in.. dere's nth i dun like abt them ):

一种说不出的感觉。。。

this feeling sucks.

really sucks.

whenever i tot of giving this up,

a voice inside me, told me not to give up., not to give up, not to give up.

many things are making me sad.

was kinda shocked that my sec sch fren came to talk to me in fb and msn !

HAHA. we shared our love story.

and well, me and him.. AAHAHA.

had abt the same sad story.

but his is sadder.

cos to me, the gal is like two timing. so evil.

AND WAIT.. NONO. THIS IS NOT ANOTHER EMO BLOG POST :P

hahaha !!!

well, stupid things happened.

and it's not that i dun wanna reply.

it's just that i'm too tired from so many things.

so i tend to ignore and give slower replies.

if not, i'll sure sound super moody while talking to u and u.

which i dun want that to happen.

i've tried to put myself in ur shoes.

yes, i can understand ur feelings..

but it's that, i seriously dun understand y u dun understand..

though u kept saying that u do.

so well, den dere's nth much for me to tell u le.

just hope u can truly be happy.

instead of trying to be happy on the outside.

so wad if u are trying to stop posting more emo posts?

u're still emo.

wad's the pt?

and....... we nvr ignore u cos u emo.

we're not that unreasonable.

for the real reason, we've told u.

but u still dun understand. so uh well..

forget it :D

and... yup. exams are nearing..

but b4 that,

dad allows me to change phone plan xD

i wanna try to find a cheaper plan.

but i doubt i can.

any intro?? :D

and cos of this, i suddenly became v happy tdy

and maybe it's cos i had a longer slping time.

slept for 12 hrs.

though in between, i woke up to make cough med for mum.

hope her coughing gets beta.

i'm so happy so happy so happy xD

i wanna sing ~~ :D

if only kbox is free :x

HAHAHAHA !!! omg :x

nicole, must be happy okay !!!!! ytd is emo day. tdy happy day :p

and grace, hahahaha !!!!! that crazy gal :p

LOVE THE 2 OF U xD HAHAHA

wanna have an outing wid e 2 of u soon xD

and i love the msn conv on the day b4 ytd.

I LAUGHED LIKE MAD !!!!

and the elmo in me ran away xD

though it came back the nxt day.

due to lack of slp i think :x

many things are happening recently.

i dun get as pissed as last time..

cos last time, i'll get annoyed by things and irritating ppl.

but now, maybe grace is right. i'm numb :x HAHAH

maybe..

sighs. i tot i'll update a lot of things. but uh well.

dun wanna blog le. :(

i agree wid this (:

life has a lot of ups and downs indeed.

it's true.

but we can change our thinking, to make things seem beta.

and even, change our life.

vin, this is to you.

i rly duno wad else i can say to console u alr

and sometimes,

i just felt so guilty for everything i did.

i rly want long long slp for days.

i'm rly so stressed and forever not enough slp.

okay la, my stress can be reduced.

i have tmr.. to just try to finish up a lot of things.

and.. mum's working agn

that means housework dere for me to do agn.

which is making things worse :/

i wonder why i'm so easily pissed recently.

ppl called me, i've no mood to talk.

and... so easily get sad over things,

get upset over things,

get irritated over things.

think i'll be fine aft a long slp tonight :D

i cnt be forever so short tempered :/

I NID TO CURB CURB CURB !!!! :D

wth.

i'm busy rite !!!

why are more and more ppl so like u.

u think i'm wad?

robot issit!

i'm so stressed up.

loads of things yet to be done.

i rly nt tolerate any more shit.

not only u.. but u, u, u,u and u !

it's sch holiday and i nid to go back to sch.

that's a total turn off )':

but..

thinking positively, it's beta than slacking at home !

at least i'm more productive here and.....

we're working on our fyp :/

dun like it when ppl -.- me :/

i duno wad u r trying to do

u.. told me not to slp so late..

u.. told me not to slp yet cos u wanna chat wid me.

wad is this :)

why.. die die must chat x.x

*sms-ing grace*

*laughing*

*seemun looks at me and some other frens of mine*

me: My fren is crazy.

seemun: u noe why?

me: why?

seemun: cos birds of the same feather flock tgt.

me: oh. u're saying urself?

seemun: i'm not ur fren. i'm ur classmate.

me: same same la xD

wad's the point of harping over it??

TSKKK

you told me that frens are more impt than u.

i was like"...?!"

and.. u're sad that i'm gng out tmr, not wid u.

den kept telling me to go out wid u instead.

.......

i think i'm just being too stressed up wid work?

so that explains all these nonsensical thinking

i tried appearing happy ((:

and i tried to be.

i dun wanna appear so emo in front of ppl alr.

i dun wanna reply things so emo-ly agn

bt, i'll continue typing emo stuffs when i'm rly emo,

to make myself feel beta, i tink :/

but sometimes, no ... most of the times..

sad memories just haunt aft me..

perhaps, it's a typical gal's mind.

i only noe that i was termed "happy-go-lucky" last time.

not that i dun have sadness.

i do have. actually, more.

but i just didn't let it affect me?

now i decided to think abt those probs.

to change and perhaps, have a beta idea of how to handle things when similar ones came out agn.

or maybe i'm rly a perfectionist..

though i dun think i am.

perhaps.. i expect beta results from myself?

and.. maybe those closer ppl to me..

perhaps.

perhaps.

perhaps.

who can cfm it for me?

no one.

only i can think abt it myself.

and cfm it.

sighs. it's rly giving me headache and giddiness to think abt all these !!

i hated myself so much for thinking.

but, i can tell myself that, i ain't thnking much abt the past alr.

it's a gd thing (:

even if i think,

it's only reminiscence.

to think how laughable things were in the past :x

i dun wanna think abt it alr.

but ... wheneva smses come from .......

it strted all agn x.x

one word to describe this situation or rather........ i'm in..

"weird"

sometimes, it just sets me thinking..

am i rly rdy for all these?

perhaps, i've rly gotten wad i always wanted.

but, it's only aft like 8 months? 9 months?

when i've gotten used to it..

when i've felt tired of always bothering over it..

when i've alr strted to tk things in my stride.

but when i strted to think abt it now,

i found it kinda harsh on me.

when reality sets in,

i thought..

"are u rly the right one?"

to say the truth..

my past experience are all..

in a mess.

i've always tot that i've matured.

yes, i'm sure i did as compared to my sec sch life.

but.. not as matured as i thought.

i thought compromising will make things beta.

at least i've talked things out.

things did change.. aft like a while l8r.

at least it did.

but.. now, aft 6 months of change,

i can still feel tired over certain things.

perhaps..

i should let let u be in the same state that u were in the first place.

when u're wid someone..

wun u be wholehearted to her?

instead of:

having crush wid a few ppl and decided to choose this particular person..

got tgt but didn't cherish it.

even had a betrayal of heart.

so wad if the feeling ain't strong that time?

is that a good reason for u to act the way you were?

NO !

certainly a NO-NO.

sometimes, things wun wait for u.

ppl changed wid a prick of conscience, perhaps.

but u changed, cos u felt that u should.

and not cos of love.

i noe, i shouldn't be harping on this..

but.. i duno who to talk to.

i rly rly rly dun wanna trouble ppl wid my probs agn.

cos it'll always cause a certain disturbance to ppl.

i duno y.. but just felt like keeping more things to myself.

but yeah, i do confide in ppl.

it's cos.. i rly wanna noe wad to do next.

it's cos.. i felt that i need a listening ear.

perhaps, i should be satisfied wid the change in you now.

perhaps, i should rly swallow everything.

perhaps.. i should tk things more in my stride.

perhaps....... i should let it be.

u did nth wrong.

in the past, a certainly yes.

now.. more of character wise i guess?

perhaps.. we're not......... supposed to...

it's alr a blunder in the first place.

perhaps, a mystery in the middle.

but confusion in the end.

or perhaps.. e prob just lies wid me.

perhaps.. i'm still quite a kid in my thinking?

or perhaps.. i'm not meant to be in one..

or perhaps.. this kind of thing, ain't one of my thing.

or perhaps.. i should grow up more.

and my ear is hurting now.

i felt like crying all out to distress.

but i cnt afford to do so.

cos i'll feel more tired than ever and wad about my work?

stress + poor emotional management + poor time management + tiredness = EMO.

yes. go ahead and blame me for not managing my time well.

u said u understand. but y are u still blaming me?

it's ok. just go ahead and blame me.

i tk it all down.

i'm so tired of being blamed for not doin sth when my work load are suffocating me.

yes. maybe it's cos i duno how to plan my things.

ya. i'm bad at planning my time wisely.

yes, i'm at fault for not helping out.

yes. i'm at fault for not spending more time wid u

yes. i'm at fault for not telling u clearly i'm so stressed up (which i did say =.=)

yes. i'm at fault for emoing

yes. i'm at fault for those emo smses which i said i dun wanna talk.

yes. i'm at fault for everything i've done.

SO SORRY

i cnt believe that i'm actually blamed for not having a good chat wid u..

when i'm sooooooo stressed up and having loads and loads of unfinished work.

i cnt believe that u claimed that i didnt tell u that i have loads of things to do when i told u a lot of times.

i cnt believe that you would actually tell me that u're emo wid EXACTLY the SAME words that i used to sms u e other time. it's not that i dun believe u. it's just that.. i'm rly stressed up and moodless to talk or sms. u just spammed me calls. it's okay to call me. but not when i said that i dun wanna talk. at that moment.. i seriously dun feel like talking. u can call me l8r.

i nid to rant it out.

only can do so by blogging i guess.

but not here :D

i thought this this thought will disappear when i wake up the nxt day.

but it's still here.

i duno y i think of it this waY.

something is so wrong wid me.

i noe i shouldn't.

but i feel that i should.

we shouldn't.

but i think we should.

TSK. IRONY =.="

SIGHS

hahahah ! thanks blog for listening to my rants (:

a pity u cnt talk to me.

guess i'll lay on bed and emo agn.

stone too.

cnt fall asleep.

爱情不是等你有空才珍惜

也不是等你觉应该才珍惜

wadeva i do ain't enough.

he dun have to lift a single finger and u'll talk so nicely to him.

this is not me being petty or wad.

this is like seriously.. UNFAIR.

i dun expect u to be super super super super gd to me.

but at least.. dun throw temper at me, as and when u like.

i'm tired even if u ain't.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

will u only be satisfied when i put away ALLLLL my work.

just to keep the house clean and w/o a single sign of dust?

this is just so unfair

i feel so vexed.

deleting many things on impulse now ! x(

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

:(

sighs.

wad am i thinking abt !!!

:(:(:( !!!!!

i actually has this thought..

WHY!?

OMGGG.

OMG WHY. :(

WHYWHYWHY!

GOSH.

ISSIT COS OF MY MOODINESS NOW?

:(

wth la tsk.

i come home late everyday from sch.

how do u expect me to help.

yes i helped.

but u nvr say abt it.

u just said abt the times when i nvr do anything.

=.="

lame laa.

TSSKKKKK !!!!!!!

i felt so useless for not being able to do anything to help

and.. tskk. can u stop ranting the moment u reach home?

i noe u're tired. but.. that's not the way u shld do. tsskkk =.="

everyone is so stressed out.

including me D:

but hey, plan our time wisely !!!

i nid to do that too !!!

now, i have more than 12 to-do-things in my list :(

oh bother.

well, wanna say, everyone..

just hang on. HANG ON...

just a bit more. the hectic period is ending soon.

the one month period is ending soon !!

stress makes us do things faster !!

dun be stressed D:

nid to do things !!

jy ah everyone D:

i nid to jy too !!!!

so many things to do.

dying soon alr :(

sch is soooo tiring !!!
fyp's ending in like 2 more months?!?!?

and we heven even settle on our company.

GOSH. we're soooooo dead.

wait. we're not even totally settled on design yet :(

great. super DEAD.

sooooo many thing yet so little time to do.

esp wid this addition of this module.

at least 2 new projects weekly.

thanks ah.

thanks for adding on to our heavy workload :)

kk. i shall stop ranting. LOL.

but i cnt stop ranting too.

no one to rant to :x heh.

HAHAHA. omg. so irony.

gosh gosh gosh.

and oh. tmr staying in sch till duno wad time for fyp :(

dreaded it sooo much !!

but it's 6 credits. cnt dun care :(

esp for me where my marks is at the dangerous zone D:

aaarrrrggggghhhh D':

on a side note..

one mech test, one pd's test.

nxt wk.. one interview test, one presentation

and FYPPPPPPP

during yog.. fyp :(

and right aft it, during our study wk. 3 tests.

and aft that. 3 exams.

ANYMORE?! D:

----------------------------------------------------

sighs.. been thinking abt a lot of things recently.

felt sooo empty.

i think i'm gng crazy soon. LOL

no wait. i'm always crazy wad.

those little little things that i've been thinking of are like..

wad happened in the past?

yeah i noe. since it's the past.

why think abt it?

but sometimes it kept haunting aft me :/

i only noe how to console ppl not to think abt the past.

but i cnt do it myself.

irony agn :/

other than that.. i've been thinking abt some other things. :(

*hhhmmm* :/

it's gd to confide in ppl. so that u'll feel beta..

i actually has a lot a lot a lot in my mind.

wanted to blog dem down,

to vent them out.

but i've forgotten most of dem alr.

that could be a gd thing too.

cos at least..

i have one lesser emo post (:

i'm just being confused i guess. :/

hope everything's fine, for u :)

*yawns*

so tired.

need loads and loads and loads of slp D:
and.. i'm lazy to update abt the outing previously :P

heh.

the ending of au revoir taipei is cute

i'm sry but i dun feel like talking now :(

sometimes..

i wished i were so smart that i can noe every single things that i should do.

and at times.. i just felt to tired of life.

and.. at times.. i just felt that thinking of ppl's flaws is so tiring.

so, i chose to think abt their gd pts.

and.. maybe cos of that . i got used to their bad pts i guess.

no one is perfect, yes. so no pt kept thinking abt their bad pts..

i only noe i'm so vexed wid everything.

i'm sooooo tired.

i nid a shoulder to lie on to.

even if dere is.. i dun have time to do so.

everything is suffocating me.. so much.

at times. i just dun recognise myself.

i rly duno wad a kind of person i am.

a quiet person?

a noisy person?

emo person?

happy person?

i guess i am all.

and whether i'm a nice person or a bad one in fact, i cnt say..

cos it's up to ppl to decide for themselves.

not me.

i hate to see ppl being so emo ard me where i cnt even do anything

i'd rather i'm e one emo-ing.

i'm seriously.... so tired.

physically yes for sure.

mentally? i noe i am feeling that way to the max last time.

now?

am i numb?

i cnt feel anything :(

it's so torturing.

very..

i only find myself emo-ing cos i'm being affected by ppl's mood.

or maybe it's cos i'm tired (physically) now.

so i sound weird everywhere.

sms. calls. blogs. plurk.

Everything is in a hectic recently.

last wkend.. i'm happily slacking.

cos i've like done almost everything.

but ytd is a super busy day.

it's gd to a certain extent.

cos i have no chance to slack :D

i must jyjy and jy.

everyone too !! :D

i love heart-to-heart-chats

at least, i can throw wad i feel , out.

it makes me feel beta.

it's beta than sms-ing at times..

when the message get passed out so slowly.

and ppl misinterpret my meaning.

and when late replies come,

i totally forgot wad i msged alr :x

HAHAH

i feel so bad.. for causing so much misery to you..

how i hate myself.

duno wad i can do, just to cheer u up D:

i cnt handle this... alone :/

i hate myself.
why?
i duno

i'm sooooo tired.
how i wish for fyp to be finished fast.
seen zhane so tired over it.
and yes i am too :(
gosh !
i wanna rest .. and be free from it !
i was so happy that i was kinda free for a while from fyp.

only for a while but.. my mood was so much lifted.

not that much stressed .

so tired.

tired and busy till i cnt tolerate any more shit.

pls dun gimme craps anymore =.=
it's not funny.

i'm not worth u being so concerned abt :/

xD

i'll put on a brave front.

a fake smile.

not that i wanted to.

it's cos i've no choice but to do so.

thanks for all the concern,

the consoles and such.

time will cure things.

will make things be beta.

i noe it will.

but the hurt is still dere.

the pain.

the memory, of how u used to laugh at me.

and the words.

guess, i'll need to put all these behind me.

and if fate rly wanna stop me from being frens wid u,

i guess i'll have to accept it.

guess i've made the wrong approach.

guess i'm just being plain stupid.

i shld have asked grace for help.

if not, things wun become such a state now.

i appreciate everything that u have done.

and i'm rly glad of that.

but why cnt be frens?

we can be super close.. as gd frens.

this is the first time i wished i were single.

cos, at least things wun be so complicated.

or that's a wrong thinking?

can things dun be so complicated, at least for once?

and you noe wad?

it hurts me to always be careful wid my words.

cos i can anticipate this coming.

i knew this would come.

and the nxt thing i noe, it'll be u gone..

from my fb fren list and msn and hp.

not from mine but urs.

just like last time.

so that's y i was so scared.

but my fear is so redundant.

cos history still repeats itself.

dere's nth i can do.

cos i noe of NOTHING.

ABSOULTE NOTHING to solve this prob.

it's just so difficult.

i'm just so stupid to ever solve this.

why cnt u understand?

u're 22 yrs old this coming 11/11

i just nvr thought that u would be gone agn so fast this time round

first time. it's cos of some misunderstandings.

i shouldn't have tried to help out that time

and the second is the same as the third.

just that i duno the reason to the second time.

i dun even dare to tell you why i was so sad when u called ytd.

i just sounded so moody.

super moody.

u will nvr understand how much this friendship meant to me,

as compared to the others.

yes, if it were other ppl, i'll definitely be super sad for sure.

but not as much as yours.

i duno. i duno i duno

i rly duno

i rly cnt understand

i'm rly at a lost.

you're a fren. whom i cherish so much

and i'm super touched by wad u did.

you stay at bukit panjang.

and even offered to send me all the way to my doorstep.

u traveled all the way to simei,

just to keep me companion.

you traveled all the way to pr,

just to accompany me for my bday

you traveled all the way to pr,

just to "sit" me to my "home"

i truly appreciate wad u did.

i noe you'll never read this.

because you dun even noe my blog link.

so, i guess, i'm just blogging this down to vent my sadness out.

i cnt be telling this whole story to any other ppl.

cos they have their life.

they have their things to do.

and...

i'm feeling so devastated now.

if things were to happen all over agn.

i guess the outcome would still be the same.

goodbye forever (?)

i dun wanna this

Is history gonna repeat itself?

i hope not, but i think it will.

wad can i do?

It's not up to me to decide if u shld stay in my life.

maybe.. u r rly still weird aft all?

i'm super disappointed wid myself D:

sighs.

many sighs.

and.. i rly have the urge to delete my blog and plurk.

like agn :(

all right.

tmr is monday.

and that goes my holiday !

pocket money !!!!

longs for dem. and i'm so gonna save up alr.

and i hope that my mst are fine D:

great. so dreading dem :(

OMG. haha ! i happened to browse my fren's fb and saw these few pics. It's like taken sooooo long ago la ! memories !! xD
And this pic below is taken when we reached KL. omg. i still rmb ! ><
and this is inside the hotel :D it's like we're practicing just before entering the competition (:
And this pic below is like taken inside one of the hotel while celebrating someone's bday. and omg. i laughed when i saw this pic. cos i smiled soo widely :D HAHAHA. omg !

ALL RIGHT !!!

update update xD

it's been so long since i last had a proper update !

and mst is finally gone. sooo happy. but well.

4 projects !!!! gosh. to be done.

gng back to sch this wed.

went out tdy.. :D

went to cafe cartel for a meal !

had grilled fish which i craved for sooooo long !!!

*slurps*

and stan ordered this hmmmm meat? HAHA!

i forgot the name.

he said it's a must-order- dish.

and yes, it's super tasty indeed !

actually wanted to head to esplanade but in the end,

we cancelled it to a movie.

caught the A-team in the end.

it's a super nice show.

funny too :D

all right ! shall stop my post for now.

gotta go discuss more for plurker's outing.

which they are all now SOOOO OFFF TOPIC.

and btw. it feels so goood to be talking back to my long lost fren xD

i've no time for a proper post for a vvvv long time.

sooo sorry abt that.

but no worries,

i will blog super long posts aft my mst.

cos i assume i'll have a lot of things to do :D

will upload more pics to "replenish" this pic-thirsty- blog. HAHA !

yeah.

do stay tuned den :D

haha sorry!

had been neglecting my blog :/

totally forgot to update and totally too engrossed in sch stuffs i guess.

haha, but that's an excuse, like always :(

i only noe i needa buck up a lot a lot.

seeing others work hard kinda stressed me up.

nevertheless, i'm gonna work hard ((:

wanna have a plurker's outing soon xD

oh ! kang kong would have to join us this time round :D