Urgh !!!!!!

I feel so sad . So hurt. My heart hurts. It really hurts. It is bleeding...

i miss you. where are u?

i must jiayou. really must. i dont want to have any regrets :(

never felt so insecure in my results so much that i dont even feel like taking the exams. this is the first time i have such a negative feeling towards taking exams :( sighs. oh god. i'm really losing faith and hope in myself

This unexplanable bad feeling recently.... sigh. It is the exam period now. So please stop saying such topics to me. Im not interested

Idk why my head keep hurting...

I really need to stop it. Stop troubling u...no matter how much i want to see u... i need to curb it. Curb it. Curb it.......

I need to help jj with his problems. Hopefully i can. I really wish that i can help. Would need to focus on my studies again before my exams end. Need to meetup with this friend of mine too. Hopefully i will be able to help too.. haix. Im really worried about my exams. I dont want results to drop. Improve, please ?

Still trying to keep more comments to myself... sometimes, i really wondered to myself. How is being concerned and curious about someone considered digging out his rubbish to talk about? If the person is uncomfortable to saying anything, he can always stop me right ? It is like what i have been saying "u can always stop me from asking if u r uncomfortable in saying anything". Is that another accusation or just sth that i arent aware about.

I just want to stop caring about other things and study . My exams are coming. So jx, stop telling me about her for nw. Haix

My mid term results are a punishment for lack of practice, thinking and worrying too much about my clique probs and being lazy. Im not gng to be depressed though i know that i will feel sad about my results tmr. Im really going to buck up. Study study study. I hate myself for being so slack this sem. Wait, no hatred. Just jiayou

I have been feeling down since dont know how long ago... idk what can make me happy. Im only happy temporarily when i meet u.. but i know that we cant meet often. I dont want u to meet me often either. U have ur own things to do. I dont want u to jeopardize them cause of me. I cant be so selfish... but the biggest problem of all is, what are the things thats making me sad ? Friends ? Things that happened? Im really tired physically and emotionally. I have no energy to think... im just really tired of caring. It is not that i dont want to share my ans. I dont want to share my answers with those who aint worth me giving out so much. But thinking back, im not so heartless too. I will still send soln if they dont have any by the time i wake up to prepare to go school. When i was doing my midterm today, i really wanna sleep so much but my brain is thinking of what happened that day rather than thinking of what i have memorized. I can write them out fluently while revising but not under the condition of examination. What on earth is wrong with me ? Crazy ???? Sighs....

Idk why i am still thinking about it after it has happened for so long.... and there is so many other things in my mind other than that matter. :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Why am i still thinking about what happened that day? :( sighs...

why do u choose to become close to someone? it is cause u like that person, right? why do people choose to be close to others just cause they feel that this person will help them when in need? and why do others chose to be close cause of other benefits? fish told me that there are a few ppl who chose to be close to us this sem cause we have a very smart senior who is willing to help us... i dont know if i should doubt this statement cause i do realize that they are close to us after we became close to this senior.... why is this world so complicated, confusing and pragmatic?

Helping people only makes me wanna vomit blood, taken for granted or be forgotten... sighs.... And idk why i have the tendency to not want to eat if no one eats with me...

u still dont really know what kind of a person i am nor my temper... im really disappointed in u... whenever things happened, u will jump into conclusion and deemed me straight away. i might as well dont have any emotion....

it is forever like this.... why...

why do i always feel so lonely at home? :(

sometimes, u wont get appreciated for helping.. and at times, u may get deemed if u were seen saying or reasoning with someone although u have the intention of helping that person to point out his mistakes and change. idk why im doing so much. i just cant stop myself from helping..... even though i've stopped helping alot of miles, im still putting myself at a disadvantage . that's even up to putting my results at risk based on the incident today. why are there so many things happening? im really really tired....

why do i feel like as if everyone's bullying me? :(

So it seems as if u r the only one who is able to have a bad temper or bad day outside and chide or say me when u r back. im not allowed to have times where i feel down, sad or even having a bad temper. Dont u know that i dont flare up easily ? Dont u know that my temper only gets bad when i have a lack of sleep or when i had a bad day outside ? Why is it that u r able to scold me and im not able to be sad or not want to talk? No matter what i do, u sure have sth to say me right ? No matter how i felt, u will never ask me whats wrong right ? No matter what, i will be the only person who gets all the scolding. But i should be glad that it is much better than last time. I used to be scolded when i didnt help out the housework... no one but me gets scolded. Only i have to do it. Im not supposed to feel sick, unwell or even busy. The only thing that i should do is do housework right ? Okay. I know.

Y m i crying myself to sleep again?? I need sleep badly.... else i think i will really faint. Those giddy spells aint helping.....

Idk what im thinking abt.... i feel so..... much like crying again...

Y am i suffering from heartpain ytd and today?:(

broken promise? or maybe it isnt a promise to begin with... why am i so sad. zzz

im so tired, tired of studying alien language. i feel so lonely... i could have gone out to study today. why didnt i ? why was i so lazy?? :( at least, i'd have a bunch of ppl in the library, though unknown, to study tgt...

Why are there so many irritating ppl beside me recently !? I emailed my bro that time and told him to help me print the latest two emails that i sent. Then i told him that the names are lala and :)2. Just because i didnt put open and close inveted commas, u assumed that i was joking with u and got angry . Then , u spammed me calls even when i told u that i was having lessons and could not amswer those calls. You still gave me this message "i am busy and yet you are not answering those calls". What attitude is this. I mentioned it clearly in my message to what emails to be printed out and u still want to ask me the same questions via phone call. U told me that u r busy. So am i right !? I was having my lab briefing . It isnt recorded and is considered a very impt briefing to me. Why are u so unreasonable and inconsiderate? So now, i sent u a file that is more than 25mb. Tried sending via gmail and it said that i had to send it via google drive to be able to send emails of up to 10gb. U told me that u cant open it. Fine. So i tried to compress using winrar. Then u said "i dont know if my office comp can open winrar. You have to try ur luck". So i suggested giving u the file using thumbdrive and u said "you cant expect me to bring the thumbdrive everywhere right. Unless u want it to be spoilt". Wts is this. It will only be spoilt if u dodnt take care of it right. Unless u want to throw it inside ur bag and take no care about it. I seriously dont know why i actually want to help u bring 4 heavy books to school tmr. i was afraid that ur bag will be heavy so i helped to carry the heavy ones. I didnt even complain and now u r complaining when i suggested u to help me take a small thumbdrive to work tp see if u can open the file and print it from there. Seriously, im so fedup with ppl like u. Even ppl like alvin , stanley and sw. Wts..

Why did i suddenly think about those things again?? I dont want to recall those nightmares... i need to wake up early :( dont want to be late for open house..

i feel so sad now .... :(

I dont know why things always turn out to be so bad... i dont want to have a phobia amd didnt want to go home like how i felt during my sec sch times... that will be so bad... :(

ytd was really a terrible night. initially, i was thinking if i should stay up for the night to see my results but was afraid that i might end up like the previous sem-- all sad and have no mood to sleep u[on seeing my poor results. thus, i tried to sleep but could not sleep at all. i laid there for two hours and more, feeling sadder and sadder... i really dont unds how can i make my mum angry that she gave me the cold shoulder. how could i do anything to agitate her when i go out early and reach home later than her recently. and if i reach home early, i tried to help out with the housework but the clothes weren't dry due to the heavy downpour recently.. i refrained from crying but could not stop the tears from flowing... i know i'm weak but i was really really really really devastated. over all the years, it seems as though im the only one getting the cold shoulder. i do understand that you are having bad mood from ur work but..... why me? why is it always me? what did i do? my stomach growled and i need food desperately...just to cheer me up. i opened up the titbit that i bought the other day and ate half of it but my mood just remained as sad... and someone is asleep.. there's no one to talk to.... i really felt very very very sad. only way to make me sleep was to on my mp3... i really cant imagine how i am going to sleep if my mp3 was spoiled... at the very next day, i on my comp and saw ppl's fb updates saying that their results improved. only then did i pluck up courage to check my results. expectation: qm: b-, solids: b-, thermal: b, complex: b, lab: B+. results: qm: b, solids:b+, thermal:b+, complex:b+, lab:b+. the only correct expectation was lab. this made me recall that i wished the previous night to not have any mod that has a score of b-. i even thought to myself "i won't be greedy. just no b- and the rest b but just give me one b+ cause i need my results to improve." my cgpa did improve but i wasnt happy at all... and after that, i proceeded to go work. while in the train, u asked me what happened. i was happy that u asked but when i was typing the incident, my tears just flowed and i felt so terrible... i didnt want anyone to see me crying so i didnt continue typing... well, i just cried again... so useless. :/

why is everyone so busy...... :( :( :( :( :(

i need someone beside me right now, badly.... sighs...

had been shopping for alot of things during tis hols. handbag, school bag, working shoes, wallet, clothings. these things easily cost alot of money :/ ohh noo hahahah

am i being sensitive? i actually get quite puzzled by people's reply easily. eg: me: i work as attraction ambassdor. we are like ambassdor that tries to attract people to our attraction like those ambassdor in uss. S: is it like tour guide? me: tour guide and attraction ambassdor are different S: ya i know that they are different. i do not quite get your job (if you know that they are different, why mention it? i'd rather you ask me specifically what we have to do while working. ) the next one is like G asking S if he will be free for movie the next day. Z replied saying that S would need to work the next day but G went to tell another friend of ours, J to reply to the whatsapp group just to ask again if S will be free tomorrow. i tot Z just said that he cannot make it? am i being too sensitive or wad? why do i find these replies weird and got affected by dem? what is wrong with me? :/

why didnt i hear such words when we were tgt? it's quite absurd when we broke up and didnt really contact. i knew all along that u misunderstood my reason for breakup even though i explained it clearly to u (maybe not clear enough for you to unds). you said that we will be better together. i actually do not really understand this sentence. we all along have the communication problem. with this problem hanging around, not solved or even trying to have it solved, how can i actually have faith when you wanted to be together again? wouldn't you find it weird when u seldom talked to this person and he suddenly messaged you, telling you all these when he didnt even mention nor try to do anything after and during the relationship? if it were me when we were tgt, i'd definitely be very disappointed. i see no point it in right now as my thinking slowly changed. my attitude changed unknowingly too. i unknowingly treat someone coldly or not as nice if given the same treatment though i will still tend to care for that party at times. i will definitely cherish those people who makes me feel loved. those that didn't give up on me and is constantly trying to win my heart. those who used their actions to actually convey their message rather than all talk and no actions.

i really wonder if it is due to lack of sleep or that i've always tolerated those nonsense that i felt irritated when you say me. or is it just me having a bad temper ? i dun wanna be easily irritated when people say abt me.. it seems soo petty. sighs

no matter how cui myresults are this sem, im gonna be as hardworking as i was the previus sem for my next coming sem cos i will be taking up seven modules. three more mods as compared to this sem's. i cant afford to study at my own pace cos i cannot catch up with the speed and progress of the overloading lectures and work

im so gonna drown next sem. planning to take 7 modules. one lab that requires matlab plus many many lab reports while another module requires writing report as well :(

i am so tired but cannot fall asleep right now and my tears cant stop flowing...

will i ever get to hear that sentence again? im not sure... even with many people of the same situations as me, i feel o lonely.. feel so alone fighting this monstrous battle, all by myself...

sometimes, i really wonder how you have been. after seeing u in ntu that day, i really felt that u look sad. wanted to approach but the fear surged up and i just fled. lol. hope you are doing all fine.. hope you had a nice bday celebration ytd.

happy bday,cpy...

i dun wish to score b- in any of my modules, esp the toughest one, solids... :( i scored really low for my midterm cos i didntnoe where to copy the answers when they are just right in front of me. im really really.... speechlessly stupid :( sighs. else i could have passed. i lost around a total of 30 marks cos of that. seriously heartpain.. when this test is like 25% weightage. :( any drop in my mark will remove me from my current class. i really aim for a second upper but seems like my second lower cant even be maintained... oh god. please save me :( i rly want my gpa to be pulled up alot alot this sem but doubt that it can work.

i will change my status one day :) during the time when i think that the time is ripe :p ( i seem to talk like in some show hahahah)

thanks for entering my life. i think that's the greatest gift that i have in life. :) Despite all those unhappiness that i have experienced or experiencing now, im considered quite contented in my life. I do not deny that im being very disappointed with my mum or my studies but i can tell everyone that i will not give up. i just need some time to encourage myself and abandon those negative thoughts that include giving up. i do not like to give up and will continue to complete my studies the moment i've started on it. i really need to hang on.. guess im just getting used or trying to get used to failures and sadness inflicted by things or people. jiayou !

又是另一张不及格的考卷子。。。每个人都说第一题很容易做但是我却不会做。太笨了吧？：（ 幸亏的是，我做了最后一题。那题是大多数的人不会做或没时间做的。。。 ：（

hehe i love u :p

no idea why i am feeling so sad now. like there is no reason for me to...

it just seems like no matter wad i do dun help at all, no matter how hard i try. im such a failure...

sometimes, im just afraid that u will get tired of me as time passes and not treat me as good by den. u will just get tired of my forever complainings of feelinirunwell... lalala

i suddenly feel so lonely after yesterday. my phobia acted up again and i had alot of nightmares ytd though i only recalled two. i dreamt that i weren't feeling well along the street and no one bothered. not even someone who is closed to me. i noe that i'm thinking too much but....i really had my phobia back up again. i couldn't be happy no matter how much i tried today.
i actually cried myself to sleep ytd night after quite long. couldn't sleep and cannot remember what time i actually fell asleep. i kept wondering why i am feeling so insecure...

this feeling really really sucks and i actually felt that im making a molehole out of nothing... sighs.
where can i go on sunday after my driving lesson? it's too early and i dun want to go home cos i cnt do anything at home... who can actually keep me companion? it's ok. i think i can just walk around alone too...

why do i miss u so much :'(

i get jealous easily :x hehehe

to be frank, im still not feeling fine. beta, maybe. slightly beta, yes. very slightly...
im just frantically hiding my emotions so that i can smile and laugh with my friends. no point sulking in front of dem

u just made me feel so so awful. can i just stay out tonight ????? :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

the feeling of walking alone.. wait. im just thinking too much, am i ?

why do i feel so insecure and get jealous so easily ? this has never happen before ...

sometimes , i rly wonder if im expecting too much or being too critical. i tried to not get affected by the words that u said cos i noe that it's ur character but i failed to do so. i noe that u do care for ppl but the words that u said really kinda disturbed me. cos it seems as though u r blaming me. esp this sentence "you are being irresponsible to your tummy".
i didnt.. if i did, i wldnt have cut down alot of chili this year. i didnt touch dem when they are just in front of me cos im concerned abt my health. i noe that given my condition, im not supposed to touch chili at all.. but sometimes, i still eat dem cos i forgot. esp ytd. maybe i expected too much. i shldnt even hoped that someone wld tell me to take care.. maybe i shld rly drop that criteria in anyone.. no more sadness den.
or maybe im being too sensitive.

tried to sleep but my mind was being noisy. my head is really hot now.. eyes all red.. it seems as though dere are two voices talking to me.
one told me that i shldnt be too petty. shld just smile it off and ignore the things that hurt or even annoy me. even if they are accusations.. and that i was being too critical and sensitive. i know jolly well her character. i do noe that she do care alot abt ppl . i shldnt be affected by this.

another one just told me that she was being too insensitive. she shldnt kept chiding me but hope that i can attend the dinner later. i should just tell her how i feel rather than controlling dem and just replied "..." cos i was upset. it is not as if i did it on purpose. it isnt the first time that her words affected me. dere's once where i was really irritated cos of her accusations and that i just walked away and tried to put on a smile. really forced it out.  and she ended up being annoyed cos i walked too fast and blamed me for it.

so wad is wad? just wad kind of a person am i ? i really have no idea. maybe wad i think of myself is different from wad i really do. maybe my forced smile still cnt cover the annoyance and even the sadness that i faced. maybe i really should just smile no matter wad happened and talk less.. just to avoid conflicts as much as possible. i really tried very hard to do this. not that im trying to put on a facade but rather, trying to reduce the damages to the minimum. having said so much, i dun even noe how to put it across to u. i dun blame u for the things u said but i really got affected more and more by the things that u told me at times. yes, maybe my communication skills really sucks. so that's why i cnt even express myself, dun even dare to say, for fear of more misunderstandings.
if i were to tell u the last sentence, i expected to hear u say "just say lah. just shoot me only". but if u do noe me, u wld noe that i seldom shoot ppl. i rather talk nicely to dem in private. cos i dun want any awkwardness unless they really pissed me off that much or even if that person is just some random strangers that i cnt even accept his/ her certain behaviour...

i dislike it when u just shoot ur mouth off without considering what the other party will feel.
i dislike it when i got hurt , misunderstood, accused and yet i duno how to say it out for fear of more misunderstandings
i dislike it when i force myself to forget the things u said just cos it's ur character to just say things out and forget abt dem in the end.
i dislike it when i am good frens wid u and yet didnt dare to be closer and kept trying to keep that small distance away
i dislike it when i told sth to my fren and ended up fearing that she might say dem all out
i dislike it when i have so much fear and yet didnt noe what i should be doing
i dislike it when i always duno how to express myself.
i dislike it when ppl dun understand how i am feeling and kept telling me things on how they feel
i dislike it when ppl tried to change my opinion based on what they see and not putting demselves in my shoe
i dislike it when i tried so much to understand and empathize and ended up being more unhappy.
i dislike it when i wanted to help but yet i didnt want to get involved in it
i dislike it when i am in a dilemma
i dislike it when i feel so stupid when im at a loss of what is the right way of handling things
i dislike it when i can only "feel" after being in one
i dislike it at the thought that i am hurting so many ppl
i dislike it when im so confused
i dislike it when i forget wad i have said
i dislike it when i cnt put my thoughts in proper words and ppl have the other meaning
i dislike it when so many things seem to be happening
i dislike myself..

i want everything to be back to the way to where they were before.

i really wonder where is this bringing me to ..
have no ans now.

SMILE
SMILE
SMILE
SMILE
SMILE PLS

i hope no one sees these few posts.. i rly feel stupid right now

i rly duno wad on earth am i thinking or feeling now .
i feel like such an idiot.

i feel so weird to have wasted my day away today. kept wanting to break out the WHOLE DAY. wts is wrong wid me. initially had alot of plans.. alot of looking forward. so much that i even told my mum wad i will be wearing ... 

where is my happy pill :(

i feel really awful today. shall cry myself to slp tonight.. i may seem weak and like a crybaby but this is one of e things i do when im sad though im not able to cry normally...

didnt feel that same kind of weirdness anymore. think that the presence was due to exam stress that i felt awful for everything that has happened. just had this thought instead today. "wad's the big deal? i will only feel happy for u if u've rly changed" doubts cleared. happy for that . table cleared of study materials as well :D hehe

i rly nid time to think thru certain things..things that i have no idea why im feeling this way. these emotions that r suffocating me.. so unbearable.

looks like i heven fully recovered?
i think i rly nid some time for isolation..

mum was worried that i might fall sick that she was happy when i decided to stay at home instead of gng out to study today.
she wants me to be back home early so that i can have sufficient rest.
it's these little little concern that warms up my heart.
i dun need monetary things.

it's just like those effort that people put in.
i can sense it.
i can see dem for myself though i normally dun mention abt dem.
so long as i noe of their existence, isn't it?
even if anyone failed to cheer me up, i wun feel disappointed.
rather, i will be upset if they didnt even try.

im happy with the things around me.
im happy to have made these good frens and the people that i've interacted with.
these people include those that i didnt have good nor fond memories of.
it's these experience and type of people that made me cherish those good things that i have now and tell myself to self check, to not be the same as dem.

should get back to studies now. lol.
i need to score real well this sem as only 11 AUs are included in my gpa :(
though one is a SU-ed core.
a core that most people dreaded.
a core that more than 50% failed
a core that the mean and median are of a failing score.
a core that i didnt want to get a "U" grade in.
wish me best of luck.
else i'd feel so disappointed and keep feeling that my hard work dun pay off.
and that maybe i shldn't have studied so hard.

but after any negative thoughts, i will automatically self motivate myself to put in extra effort cos i dun want to have any regrets.
i alr have enough regrets in the past.
didn't want to add anymore inside my "regret" history

aaron: why shaowei look so fierce? he angry ah?
me: no la. stressed i think .
aaron: u not scared ah?
me: i am ! that's why my vision is always only u , xiang xiang and fish
aaron: oh
me: den me leh ? do i look fierce too ?
aaron: no.
me: *covers mouth and keke* den? aaron: stressed
me: *covers mouth agn and niggles* good hehe

and den aaron laugh at me :'(

i feel so so so terrible now ...

this feeling sucks...

i wished for a gpa of more than 4.5 this sem due the the ratio of my AU this sem as compared to e last. doubt that im able to pull my marks up to a second upper class. hmm.. sighs.

what is wrong wid me.. why do i feel that my temper is getting worse recently. sighs. i cnt b like this

i really dislike guys who dun respect women

RELATiONSHiPS HAVE STAGES ♥


STAGE 1 (1-3 Months): The Honeymoon Stage

Everything seems perfect, both are happy and feeling “in love.” You share moments, dates and just having fun with each other, sharing laughs and giggles. It’s like nothing could stop you. Your feelings are infinite, and for once you’re thinking, “This may work out….” and it seems like nothing could go wrong. You spend hours getting ready before going out with this person.

*If your relationship ended in this stage — Most likely, both rushed into the relationship too quickly. Being together was all too sudden and just for the moment. When one starts noticing the flaws, one gets a choice to move foward, or back away. Being friends has a high percentage of working out, but nothing to stress over. Both may just need the time to get to know one another better.

--
STAGE 2 (4-6 months): The Bumpy Road
Things are going okay now. The relationship is calm and settled; both are still mostly happy. Had a couple arguments and disagreements here and there, nothing huge. Start to notice some of each other’s flaws and aspects of their personalities not seen before, but still truly care for one another.

*If your relationship ended in this stage — You truly cared about this person. You had the energy to fight for this person, yet you feel as if something was lacking, something was missing. It doesn’t feel right, one isn’t happy. When one isn’t happy, one tends to walk away to seek their new happiness. Being friends is still a possibility.

--
STAGE 3 (7-12 months): The Rocky Mountain
You start to realize who your partner really is. A few more arguments may occur. Problems with jealously, overprotectiveness may arise. Other people may come in the picture. The “in love” moments start to decrease, but you feel as if you’ve “fallen in love.” You tend to have this energy inside to strive and “make it work,” and you feel more comfortable being around this person, feeling more of yourself.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel as if you’re hurt, depending on the circumstances. You were so sure that that person was “The One.” You were so SURE that he/she was different. But like a cancer, a problem that may have happened, a small issue, grew into something larger that took over what was made between two people. You still miss this person from time to time. You still remember the memories. Being friends may be difficult right away, but over time, you slowly mature up, and learn the reality of it.

--
STAGE 4 (1 year or more): The Long Road
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years, huh? This person truly means something to you. You are “in love” with this person. He/she made a difference in your life. No one else knows you more than this person. You guys have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still strive to make it last.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel heartbroken; it’s tough. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, you miss him/her, you try to move on, you try meeting new people, but seems like nothing works. For whatever reason the split occured, it must’ve been something important, or something must have been so wrong that it took over. Being “just friends” is impossible, because if you tried to be friends, you wouldn’t be able to think of them in any other way besides the one you once “loved.”

cnt expect anything..

the same phobia no matter where i go and fall in love wid

i wldnt feel so bad if u were to just tell me that u wld like to study wid dem for tdy cos of the dist...

i felt bad now cos u made me feel like as if someone is coming to keep me companion and my bad feeling eased and in the end, u actually wanted to go along wid dem.

just come if u want to. and dun if u dun want.
dun give whole loads of excuses like u dun wanna disturb me when u urself dun even wanna come in the first place cos u fear of a lack of time to study.

dun make me feel so unwanted.
im alr feeling bad enough ytd and tdy.
tyvm...

this feeling of being lonely suddenly overwhelmed me ... so, strong..

why on earth do i suddenly feel so insecure now... i shldnt b thinking so much as i nid to focus on my studies.....

问了等于没问。是我太小气了吗？ 但是真的很困扰。╭(╯^╰)╮

i dislike guys who let gals make all the decision.

i prefer guys who can make up their own mind and be decisive.

i prefer guys who ain't a spendthrift nor a miser.

i prefer guys who noes how to save up

i prefer guys who are hardworking

i prefer guys who are constantly trying to upgrade demselves.

i prefer guys who take the initiative

lol

i dislike guys who let gals make all the decision.

i prefer guys who can make up their own mind and be decisive.

i prefer guys who ain't a spendthrift nor a miser.

i prefer guys who noes how to save up

i prefer guys who are hardworking

i prefer guys who are constantly trying to upgrade demselves.

lol

i really dislike this feeling or wanting to fall sick and yet not sick. perhaps body is holding on to not letting me fall sick when exams are nearing .

i kept experiencing warmness on my head when i woke up recently. it's just like having a fever but the temp is much lower.

i really dun like it when u assume things, the both of you... i felt bad. tried to put in effort but felt disappointed when i dun see any in u. when things happened, u thought if you are able to let it go. and yet, when i hoped that u wld care, u didnt do anything to show it. what's the point of telling me to "xiao xin" when i sneezed? i have no idea. i feel really bad. so bad that i felt that i wld nid to give in my best. whenever i've decided to give in my best, i always cnt do so in face of you. why issit so ?

sighs ... ......

if u doubt me , just go and check YOURSELF.
u asked me and yet u asked if it's 100% true. i dun have to help u wid everything ok

Sometimes, if u feel that sth is gng wrong, u shld show more concern, shldnt u ?

suddenly recalled what i told you " i recover faster and faster aft each break up cos im getting more and more immune to the hurt feeling .. so much that i dun rly feel it , i think"

i think that im getting more and more quiet as time goes on ... hmmm

im sorry ... ... ...

Is scared of showing ppl too much concern as i dun want dem to b too close to me. Y is that so? Phobia? Hmm

Why on earth am i so stressed up now?? T.T sighs ... and why on earth am i so easily agitated or stressed or saddened. :'(

This is bad... im not in an exactly gd mood tdy

isolating myself by listening to music ;)

im very grateful to those ppl who are always here wid me when i needed someone .