i cnt handle this... alone :/

i hate myself.
why?
i duno

i'm sooooo tired.
how i wish for fyp to be finished fast.
seen zhane so tired over it.
and yes i am too :(
gosh !
i wanna rest .. and be free from it !
i was so happy that i was kinda free for a while from fyp.

only for a while but.. my mood was so much lifted.

not that much stressed .

so tired.

tired and busy till i cnt tolerate any more shit.

pls dun gimme craps anymore =.=
it's not funny.

i'm not worth u being so concerned abt :/

xD

i'll put on a brave front.

a fake smile.

not that i wanted to.

it's cos i've no choice but to do so.

thanks for all the concern,

the consoles and such.

time will cure things.

will make things be beta.

i noe it will.

but the hurt is still dere.

the pain.

the memory, of how u used to laugh at me.

and the words.

guess, i'll need to put all these behind me.

and if fate rly wanna stop me from being frens wid u,

i guess i'll have to accept it.

guess i've made the wrong approach.

guess i'm just being plain stupid.

i shld have asked grace for help.

if not, things wun become such a state now.

i appreciate everything that u have done.

and i'm rly glad of that.

but why cnt be frens?

we can be super close.. as gd frens.

this is the first time i wished i were single.

cos, at least things wun be so complicated.

or that's a wrong thinking?

can things dun be so complicated, at least for once?

and you noe wad?

it hurts me to always be careful wid my words.

cos i can anticipate this coming.

i knew this would come.

and the nxt thing i noe, it'll be u gone..

from my fb fren list and msn and hp.

not from mine but urs.

just like last time.

so that's y i was so scared.

but my fear is so redundant.

cos history still repeats itself.

dere's nth i can do.

cos i noe of NOTHING.

ABSOULTE NOTHING to solve this prob.

it's just so difficult.

i'm just so stupid to ever solve this.

why cnt u understand?

u're 22 yrs old this coming 11/11

i just nvr thought that u would be gone agn so fast this time round

first time. it's cos of some misunderstandings.

i shouldn't have tried to help out that time

and the second is the same as the third.

just that i duno the reason to the second time.

i dun even dare to tell you why i was so sad when u called ytd.

i just sounded so moody.

super moody.

u will nvr understand how much this friendship meant to me,

as compared to the others.

yes, if it were other ppl, i'll definitely be super sad for sure.

but not as much as yours.

i duno. i duno i duno

i rly duno

i rly cnt understand

i'm rly at a lost.

you're a fren. whom i cherish so much

and i'm super touched by wad u did.

you stay at bukit panjang.

and even offered to send me all the way to my doorstep.

u traveled all the way to simei,

just to keep me companion.

you traveled all the way to pr,

just to accompany me for my bday

you traveled all the way to pr,

just to "sit" me to my "home"

i truly appreciate wad u did.

i noe you'll never read this.

because you dun even noe my blog link.

so, i guess, i'm just blogging this down to vent my sadness out.

i cnt be telling this whole story to any other ppl.

cos they have their life.

they have their things to do.

and...

i'm feeling so devastated now.

if things were to happen all over agn.

i guess the outcome would still be the same.

goodbye forever (?)

i dun wanna this

Is history gonna repeat itself?

i hope not, but i think it will.

wad can i do?

It's not up to me to decide if u shld stay in my life.

maybe.. u r rly still weird aft all?

i'm super disappointed wid myself D:

sighs.

many sighs.

and.. i rly have the urge to delete my blog and plurk.

like agn :(

all right.

tmr is monday.

and that goes my holiday !

pocket money !!!!

longs for dem. and i'm so gonna save up alr.

and i hope that my mst are fine D:

great. so dreading dem :(

OMG. haha ! i happened to browse my fren's fb and saw these few pics. It's like taken sooooo long ago la ! memories !! xD
And this pic below is taken when we reached KL. omg. i still rmb ! ><
and this is inside the hotel :D it's like we're practicing just before entering the competition (:
And this pic below is like taken inside one of the hotel while celebrating someone's bday. and omg. i laughed when i saw this pic. cos i smiled soo widely :D HAHAHA. omg !

ALL RIGHT !!!

update update xD

it's been so long since i last had a proper update !

and mst is finally gone. sooo happy. but well.

4 projects !!!! gosh. to be done.

gng back to sch this wed.

went out tdy.. :D

went to cafe cartel for a meal !

had grilled fish which i craved for sooooo long !!!

*slurps*

and stan ordered this hmmmm meat? HAHA!

i forgot the name.

he said it's a must-order- dish.

and yes, it's super tasty indeed !

actually wanted to head to esplanade but in the end,

we cancelled it to a movie.

caught the A-team in the end.

it's a super nice show.

funny too :D

all right ! shall stop my post for now.

gotta go discuss more for plurker's outing.

which they are all now SOOOO OFFF TOPIC.

and btw. it feels so goood to be talking back to my long lost fren xD

i've no time for a proper post for a vvvv long time.

sooo sorry abt that.

but no worries,

i will blog super long posts aft my mst.

cos i assume i'll have a lot of things to do :D

will upload more pics to "replenish" this pic-thirsty- blog. HAHA !

yeah.

do stay tuned den :D

haha sorry!

had been neglecting my blog :/

totally forgot to update and totally too engrossed in sch stuffs i guess.

haha, but that's an excuse, like always :(

i only noe i needa buck up a lot a lot.

seeing others work hard kinda stressed me up.

nevertheless, i'm gonna work hard ((:

wanna have a plurker's outing soon xD

oh ! kang kong would have to join us this time round :D

okay ! currently in sch !
having a super slack lesson.
cos things were completed b4 hand ! LOLOL
andand. happy bday carline !
happy 19th xD
so tired now :(

okay great.

i really have no time for a blog post recently !

projects projects on a toll.

and revisions too !

and i felt so lazy.

oh gosh

didn't update blog and i cnt believe that i forgot abt my blog !

haha ! that's the first time in my life that i totally forgot about it.

guess how busy i were :/

andand. i've won 2 "back up plan" tix !

wanted to watch but have no time for it !

oh bother.

the timing just clashed wid my sch timing !!!

congrats me !

so now wad?

keep the tix for souvenir? LOL!

btwbtwbtw. i'm worried abt my this sem's results agn.

it's irritating to hear me say this like again rte?!

haix. i feel irritated to hear myself saying this agn.

but it cnt be helped !

i'm forever the paranoid one !

and sighs.

i miss the plurkers !

no time for an outing right now !

neither do i have time for any outing !

mstmstmst.

fyp hah !

hectic life.

but beta than having nth to do at all !

p.s. It's been more than a yr alr !

loves ! xD

OMG. i have no time to blog !!!! :(

sch work !

Caught "the last song" sneak preview ytd.
it was like abt a 2 hrs show.
not bad and hm said it's a thumbs up !
the show was kinda touching.
i dun rly dare to keep looking at the screen cos i knew i'd cry :/
it's miley airing the show.
heard that both the leads were tgt in real life too !
coolness ((:

btw, b4 i was gng to enter the cinema,
i was on phone wid sy.
and was like, we walked past each other but didnt noe !
LOLOL! so funny ;x

thanks sy yuan for that tip !
haha !