i need someone beside me right now, badly.... sighs...

had been shopping for alot of things during tis hols. handbag, school bag, working shoes, wallet, clothings. these things easily cost alot of money :/ ohh noo hahahah

am i being sensitive? i actually get quite puzzled by people's reply easily. eg: me: i work as attraction ambassdor. we are like ambassdor that tries to attract people to our attraction like those ambassdor in uss. S: is it like tour guide? me: tour guide and attraction ambassdor are different S: ya i know that they are different. i do not quite get your job (if you know that they are different, why mention it? i'd rather you ask me specifically what we have to do while working. ) the next one is like G asking S if he will be free for movie the next day. Z replied saying that S would need to work the next day but G went to tell another friend of ours, J to reply to the whatsapp group just to ask again if S will be free tomorrow. i tot Z just said that he cannot make it? am i being too sensitive or wad? why do i find these replies weird and got affected by dem? what is wrong with me? :/

why didnt i hear such words when we were tgt? it's quite absurd when we broke up and didnt really contact. i knew all along that u misunderstood my reason for breakup even though i explained it clearly to u (maybe not clear enough for you to unds). you said that we will be better together. i actually do not really understand this sentence. we all along have the communication problem. with this problem hanging around, not solved or even trying to have it solved, how can i actually have faith when you wanted to be together again? wouldn't you find it weird when u seldom talked to this person and he suddenly messaged you, telling you all these when he didnt even mention nor try to do anything after and during the relationship? if it were me when we were tgt, i'd definitely be very disappointed. i see no point it in right now as my thinking slowly changed. my attitude changed unknowingly too. i unknowingly treat someone coldly or not as nice if given the same treatment though i will still tend to care for that party at times. i will definitely cherish those people who makes me feel loved. those that didn't give up on me and is constantly trying to win my heart. those who used their actions to actually convey their message rather than all talk and no actions.

i really wonder if it is due to lack of sleep or that i've always tolerated those nonsense that i felt irritated when you say me. or is it just me having a bad temper ? i dun wanna be easily irritated when people say abt me.. it seems soo petty. sighs

no matter how cui myresults are this sem, im gonna be as hardworking as i was the previus sem for my next coming sem cos i will be taking up seven modules. three more mods as compared to this sem's. i cant afford to study at my own pace cos i cannot catch up with the speed and progress of the overloading lectures and work

im so gonna drown next sem. planning to take 7 modules. one lab that requires matlab plus many many lab reports while another module requires writing report as well :(

i am so tired but cannot fall asleep right now and my tears cant stop flowing...

will i ever get to hear that sentence again? im not sure... even with many people of the same situations as me, i feel o lonely.. feel so alone fighting this monstrous battle, all by myself...

sometimes, i really wonder how you have been. after seeing u in ntu that day, i really felt that u look sad. wanted to approach but the fear surged up and i just fled. lol. hope you are doing all fine.. hope you had a nice bday celebration ytd.

happy bday,cpy...

i dun wish to score b- in any of my modules, esp the toughest one, solids... :( i scored really low for my midterm cos i didntnoe where to copy the answers when they are just right in front of me. im really really.... speechlessly stupid :( sighs. else i could have passed. i lost around a total of 30 marks cos of that. seriously heartpain.. when this test is like 25% weightage. :( any drop in my mark will remove me from my current class. i really aim for a second upper but seems like my second lower cant even be maintained... oh god. please save me :( i rly want my gpa to be pulled up alot alot this sem but doubt that it can work.

i will change my status one day :) during the time when i think that the time is ripe :p ( i seem to talk like in some show hahahah)

thanks for entering my life. i think that's the greatest gift that i have in life. :) Despite all those unhappiness that i have experienced or experiencing now, im considered quite contented in my life. I do not deny that im being very disappointed with my mum or my studies but i can tell everyone that i will not give up. i just need some time to encourage myself and abandon those negative thoughts that include giving up. i do not like to give up and will continue to complete my studies the moment i've started on it. i really need to hang on.. guess im just getting used or trying to get used to failures and sadness inflicted by things or people. jiayou !

又是另一张不及格的考卷子。。。每个人都说第一题很容易做但是我却不会做。太笨了吧？：（ 幸亏的是，我做了最后一题。那题是大多数的人不会做或没时间做的。。。 ：（

hehe i love u :p

no idea why i am feeling so sad now. like there is no reason for me to...

it just seems like no matter wad i do dun help at all, no matter how hard i try. im such a failure...

sometimes, im just afraid that u will get tired of me as time passes and not treat me as good by den. u will just get tired of my forever complainings of feelinirunwell... lalala

i suddenly feel so lonely after yesterday. my phobia acted up again and i had alot of nightmares ytd though i only recalled two. i dreamt that i weren't feeling well along the street and no one bothered. not even someone who is closed to me. i noe that i'm thinking too much but....i really had my phobia back up again. i couldn't be happy no matter how much i tried today.
i actually cried myself to sleep ytd night after quite long. couldn't sleep and cannot remember what time i actually fell asleep. i kept wondering why i am feeling so insecure...

this feeling really really sucks and i actually felt that im making a molehole out of nothing... sighs.
where can i go on sunday after my driving lesson? it's too early and i dun want to go home cos i cnt do anything at home... who can actually keep me companion? it's ok. i think i can just walk around alone too...