Why am i still thinking about what happened that day? :( sighs...

why do u choose to become close to someone? it is cause u like that person, right? why do people choose to be close to others just cause they feel that this person will help them when in need? and why do others chose to be close cause of other benefits? fish told me that there are a few ppl who chose to be close to us this sem cause we have a very smart senior who is willing to help us... i dont know if i should doubt this statement cause i do realize that they are close to us after we became close to this senior.... why is this world so complicated, confusing and pragmatic?

Helping people only makes me wanna vomit blood, taken for granted or be forgotten... sighs.... And idk why i have the tendency to not want to eat if no one eats with me...

u still dont really know what kind of a person i am nor my temper... im really disappointed in u... whenever things happened, u will jump into conclusion and deemed me straight away. i might as well dont have any emotion....

it is forever like this.... why...

why do i always feel so lonely at home? :(

sometimes, u wont get appreciated for helping.. and at times, u may get deemed if u were seen saying or reasoning with someone although u have the intention of helping that person to point out his mistakes and change. idk why im doing so much. i just cant stop myself from helping..... even though i've stopped helping alot of miles, im still putting myself at a disadvantage . that's even up to putting my results at risk based on the incident today. why are there so many things happening? im really really tired....

why do i feel like as if everyone's bullying me? :(

So it seems as if u r the only one who is able to have a bad temper or bad day outside and chide or say me when u r back. im not allowed to have times where i feel down, sad or even having a bad temper. Dont u know that i dont flare up easily ? Dont u know that my temper only gets bad when i have a lack of sleep or when i had a bad day outside ? Why is it that u r able to scold me and im not able to be sad or not want to talk? No matter what i do, u sure have sth to say me right ? No matter how i felt, u will never ask me whats wrong right ? No matter what, i will be the only person who gets all the scolding. But i should be glad that it is much better than last time. I used to be scolded when i didnt help out the housework... no one but me gets scolded. Only i have to do it. Im not supposed to feel sick, unwell or even busy. The only thing that i should do is do housework right ? Okay. I know.

Y m i crying myself to sleep again?? I need sleep badly.... else i think i will really faint. Those giddy spells aint helping.....

Idk what im thinking abt.... i feel so..... much like crying again...