I cant stop myself from being sad. Oh no. What shld i do.... :(

I wonder whats wrong with me. My depressed emotion is suddenly triggered and i kept crying !!!! Tsk

Lack of vitamin d ? Always feeling tired in the day ? Maybe thats why i always wanna eat tuna . Hahahaha . But seriously , idk how to cure my qi xue bu zhu. Haix .

Why m i suddenly so emo? Why am i suddenly so sad ? Why do i siddenly recall the past ? Why am i crying now ??? :( haix....

I love conversations like that :p hehehe.

Well, i need to be more observant ;) and for frustration, i will change it. Wont suppress it but will change my thinking instead. Shall see if im successful ;)

I feel so stupid at times... i always let u 牵着鼻子走... :( haix... ur looks is really capable ur best facade. Im finding that u arent simple as i get to know u more and more now... the fear towards u increased again.. haix. Scary... ppl around me are scary...

sometimes, i really dislike the way u seem to judge me . i can sense it from the way u talk. u stopped me from explaining and continued with your own thinking. having a few exs before dont define anyone. dont u know that it takes 2 hands to clap? if the other party isnt doing anything to salvage the r/s, it wont last no matter how much one party tried doing sth about it. STOP JUDGING .

i want to buy hada labo hydrating lotion (toner) and bio essence miracle water :'( my facial prodcts are half used after like 1 to 2 mths

urgh ! i always get soft-hearted easily. i didnt want to work on national day but i felt bad cause there is a lack of staff on that day and i agreed to work. worked till only 5 pm as i want to see u that day :)

is everyone that pragmatic? does everyone have the tendency to make use of others as and when they can ? i couldnt forget what u've told me..

"i dont like him so i wont talk to him but if he is of use to me, i will talk to him." i was shocked hearing this sentence. i always knew that u take advantage of others to help u with ur stuffs but not to this extent. and then u continued "but there is xx talking to him now. i dont need to talk to him. got her can already" .


haix... :( im surrounded with such ppl. or am i such a person myself? i know that i am easily influenced... maybe i have been influenced that i didnt even know about it...

Not happy today and idk why...

I cant get rid of my low self esteem until i really feel good inside out.... haix

I feel that i have been throwing tantrums or temper at u... didnt say anything but i felt really bad deep inside. Always promised myself to treat u better the next time i met u so that i wont do it again...

But....i must console myself that my temper has become alot better as compared to last time. *grins* lol !!

I feel that my temper has worsened recently... i feel sian/irritated easily on certain things that ppl do or say that i wont feel irritated normally. I know that it is due to my lack of sleep but...i shldnt Use this as an excuse to throw my temper.. my behaviour may not seem bad to some ppl but it appears very bad to me. My temper seems to be at its maximum recently. Sighh.. i need to change my temper again

and, im finally getting better at knowing that someone is lying to me. im finally not as gullible. BUT, im still easy to lied to if i really choose to trust u instead of following my instincts :)

when i first gotten my work schedule for the month of july, i was devastated. i only had 9 days of work and was later told that another part timer had 22 working days. my boss said that all part timers were given around 9 to 11 working days to be fair. how fair can this be ?
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i thought to myself and felt that my month of july will be a very slacking and sad one. It was then i decided to look out for more jobs. went to different companies to register and start my events job.
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The first successful job that i went to was events catering at Vue 8. Didn't get to learn anything much there but saw the chef, eric koh. Kept walking throughout the whole event with a newly sprained ankle to give the guests drinks, collect the empty glasses and plates. Event ended at 11 pm but thankfully, it was located at pasir ris. .

The next successful job was the events catering job at Suntec. We were only required to put the food, drink, dessert and culinary into the boxes provided. Was then required to hand them out to the people that went for the talk. Ended my day with an hour of rest. Felt that the job was too slack till it appeared boring to me.
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Next up was the event near the flyer. i didnt know that i had to serve the minister till the day itself. Learnt the way to serve the food and drinks in a fine western dining area. I have always wondered on how they staff are able to carry two plates with one hand. Observed the way they did ytd and finally knew how. The instructions from the top management to us was considered good but not the supervisors under him. All of them gave us different instructions and expected me to collect 8 plates within a minute all by myself although he initially claimed that they will collect the dirty plates together. the supervisor at my table did not know what is teamwork. Despite so, i felt that it was a good training. I learnt the way of serving in a fine dining area and noticed their bad management. It was a good learning point to me. Also, i noticed how he tried to lie to us. it was a bit disappointing but i was fine with the pay. we were paid to attend an on job training course. so why would i want to complain about the pay? ;)
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For the next 4 weekends, i will be working at velocity for another events catering. i really wondered how the job will go. i hope that it wont be as tiring but more learning points for me ;)
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Seeing how things turned out to be, i was thankful that my workplace gave me so little working place at first. It was because of this, i get to see S's true colours. Finally, i dont have to talk and entertain her even though i was initially abit wary about her. if i were able to see her poor working attitude just by a glance of how she handled the guests, why wouldnt those in the office see the same thing too? maybe they did but oh well, who cares ? It was also because of the little working days that i started requesting to work for more days and take as many working days and hours to be extended as possible. i finally had the chance to work at the operation side. Worked a longer number of hours in a day instead. blessing in disguise ;) Outside this working place, i get to use my "map" application more often. It really harnessed my ability to look at it quickly. It also gives me a chance to look at areas that i dont even get to walk past or visit. i get to learn things that i have always wondered about. that's a first hand experience. and the laughable thing is, i have 4 companies/bosses for this mth-- sentosa, manpower, alpha manpower, the eleventh services :)
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and the most impt point it, there is always someone there to listen to my complains and experience. thankful for u being with me :)) hehe , my life is still considered good :))

seeing ppl have probs in rs made me sad :( i dont want mine to be the same... i want mine to last..... :(

:(