okay, this post is taken from androne.
find it kinda true.


"What God has joined together, let no man separate".

Separation and attacks will not come from within the relationship, but from the outside. As such, we got to guard our hearts and always stick close to each other. That is why like Ps Robb Thompson said, our destiny is tied to the ones we call friends. Be careful, not to let other people meet your partner's needs, if not, you're doomed. Thats why its important to know each other well.

Who are the people you associate yourself with? They're not just going to be there when you're single, but also when you're attached. Will they support, not just you, but your partner? Its like choosing a spouse, when marriage comes into the picture, its no longer about you anymore, its about their parents, your in-laws, do you get along? Has God given you the favor? Do you have what it takes to reach out to the unsaved in your partner's family?

This verse has a pre-requisite, attacks and separation will come from the outside only...IF...as the first part says, "What God has joined together," it has to be a God-idea, not just a man-made good idea, just because you feel good about someone, etc. Choosing the wrong person, you dont have to say much, separation and attacks can and WILL come from inside the relationship. I can prophesy to you haha. Wrong attitudes, different vision, wrong flow, etc. Quarrels and squabbles.

A member once shared with me before, to be unequally yoked is not just about religion or beliefs, its about vision and purpose. If one believes in going overseas to do missions and the other believes in local evangelism, then where's the link in that? Where's the flow? How can the two accomplish anything unless they are agreed?

If A is too mature, and B is new in the Lord, A will feel he/she's always the one sacrificing, he/she will feel used. While B will always feel, why am I so useless, why do I always have to be the one needing to be loved and cared for? Why cant for once, I make anything right and care for him/her instead? There will be conflict.

Another example...unequally yoked, one has a lifestyle of prayer and fasting, the other, is just starting out.

One day, problems hit. "come dear, lets fast and pray". And the newer one who's not as committed 'yet', will feel, ahh, Im so tired, so many problems, I just wanna sleep. How then, can the couple resolve any conflict? Have the same level of faith, so that you can be in constant agreement, and the place of CONSTANT AGREEMENT, will then be a place of CONSTANT POWER! There will NEVER be a situation where you two cannot resolve!

Thats why most couples in church, tend to find their partners in the midst of ministry, in the midst of serving. Because they do things together. There is teamwork. A relationship without teamwork is nothing more than just a gathering of two people who feel a lot about each other.

Doing things together brings a couple closer together. Doing your own things, having your own girls night or guys night, having cliques, is going to destroy any relationship. In the first place, you expose yourself to let others meet your needs. Thats a failure in responsibility. You treasure your feelings more than the person.

People who jump into a relationship without first establishing basic friendship is a FOOL! "He who wins souls (friends) is wise". If you become partners before first becoming best friends, then when the feelings is not there, which level do you fall back on? "Best friend"? "Good friend"? "Companion"? or....STRANGERS?

BEFORE the relationship, who was the person, to you? That is the kind of relationship you will have with him/her, in the event things dont go well, because you have no strength in the friendship to fall back on.

If you cant even be a close friend, or even a best friend before a relationship - comfortable to share your problems, comfortable to cry and fully express yourself, comfortable with not just the good points, but the faults and imperfections of that person - then how are you going to think things will get any better after being attached?

As a friend, just because you like him/her, and you've never seen him/her angry before..you enter a relationship with him. All of a sudden, you see a side of him/her that you've never seen before, you get confused, hurt, disappointed and then you're stuck, because you already liked him/her and you stay on for the sake of the good feelings you shared, not for the person! (You dont like the person, yet you like the person because of the good feelings. Isnt it so? - The irony.)

Jesus is our example. Lets renew our mind. If you see love the way the world sees it, you've missed the point! God = love. If your love isnt true love, but worldly love, then: No true love = No true God, because God = love! GOD...is not in your equation! He is not in your relationship because true God = true love.

John Avanzini once preached, (for once, it wasnt about finances hahaha, so cool), "The purpose of marriage is not just for love and a happy blissful life, the purpose of marriage is to be MORE LIKE CHRIST, to learn how to live a lifestyle of love, forgiveness, faith and sacrificial giving!"

Marriage provides you with the space for conflicts and disagreements here and there, to teach you how to be patient, loving, to listen and be sensitive. Successes are birthed out of failures. Its only in an atmosphere where there is room to make mistakes, that there is room for a person to change. With sufficient grace and mercy of course.

Marriage provides you with the vulnerability for affairs, so that you learn how to develop tenacity and inner strength to forgive, to resist, to meet the needs of others at the expense of self, and the faith you need to bring change and restoration. It opens your eyes to what makes your partner tick, and to know him/her better, not by avoiding each other or calling it quits, but by doing the first things together, once again. And it will come back stronger than ever before.

Lets say because something bad happened in the relationship, your love from 100% has dropped to 40%. Its okay, dont quit! Start dating again. Build your love from scratch, dont just be committed, be LOYAL (to the right person of course).

When you guys finally fall back in love and your hearts are fully open again...guess what, now, not only do the both of you have 100% love, but because previously, you were once in love before, now you STACK the love points and COMBINE them...you get a 140% love! FOR THE GLORY OF GOD!!!

GOD...CAN TURN YOUR STUMBLING BLOCK INTO A NEW STARTING BLOCK! HE CAN TURN YOUR TOMBSTONE INTO A NEW STEPPING STONE! HE'S NOT A GOD WHO IS DEAD, BUT THE GOD WHO OVERCAME DEATH AND IS ALIVE! HALLELUJAH!

Marriage provides you with the space for financial difficulty once in awhile, so as to teach you proper financial management, how to live a lifestyle of tithing and generous offerings to God, how to master the laws of the harvest and how to practically live it out.

For practical reasons, its only when you're married, then you get to experience what its like living with another person and be STUCK to him/her for the rest of your life feels like! HAHA. Good or bad, you decide.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.