so disappointed wid myself.
just wanna be less careless... ... ... .. .
and i wanna be more tactful while handling things.
i still have time to learn abt it, i noe.

sighs .. .. .. .. . :(

the only 2 things that i wanna change now are to be more observant and to be more tactful when handling situations
i will persevere no matter how many setbacks i faced while dealing wid cust :)

other than that, i wun wanna do anything to change my character.
cos i believe that one's character/ thinking is v difficult to change
i'm trying to change my thinking to a more positive one though :)

i had a "nice" bus ride encounter ytd nite.

and it seems as if alot of things happened last nite.

firstly,

i had a terrible cold ytd nite while working.

i trembled uncontrollably and my mouth cant stay still too :/

could not stand properly and asked my colleague to help me find one paper in that mini pile of paper but they were all busy wid their closing duties.

so, i did it myself.

and tot "u can't always rely on others"

i normally used 5-10 mins to finish my duties but ended up tking 50 mins to finish doing dem ytd..

cos i wasn't well and could hardly write.

head was throbbing wid pain but i still tried my best to finish dem.

requested to go off first when i've finished my stuff.

walked v slowly to the bus stop aft that and bus came in 5 mins time.

which is good :)

along the journey, i sensed fever catching up on me

and the only thought that i had in mind was "i want to go home asap :/"

during half of the journey,

a wheelchair bounded indian boarded the bus.

bus driver helped to bring down the rack, which is rightfully wad he is supposed to do.

after quite a few bus stops, the man pressed the bus bell to alight

one man alighted the bus and the bus driver just closed the door.

upon seeing the door closed, the wheelchair bounded man just pointed to the door and indicated that he wanted to alight.

however, the china bus driver just blew his top and shouted in mandarin "can't u wait!? there is a bus in front. i need to drive the bus in front first!"

the pax's face just blackened

and i thought agn "the bus driver should tell the pax nicely. anyone would be anxious to miss their bus stop esp when they cnt travel conveniently"

:( sighs. so many things have happened.

and ppl seem to change.

:(

i might have changed too. but one thing for sure that i didnt change is being oblivious.

i need to be smarter.

i need to learn.

i need to try

i need to change

i will persevere :)

idk wad happened.
but i felt that it's more and more of assumptionsssss
:/

idk if i'm doing the right thing.
after for quite some time,
the fear reduced.
the sadness reduced as well.
idk wad will happen this time round.
i always duno.
but well, i believe in "live and let live"

work, sch, frens .. :/

i shall learn to treasure the times and tk as many cust as possible.
only way for me to learn a widder range of info and improve.

idk if i will be able to enter uni.
ziyu alr gotten her results and letter.
but dere's still no news for me. i noe they are processing..
but ... ... :/

and idk if i should reply.
call me a coward if u like.
cos i'm still afraid of replying.
and, some other things still seem so weird
u can call it to be my 6th sense or wadever senses.
i just sense it to be awry though i tried to deceive myself

woo !!! bang kang-ing soon xD

things happened to let us change for the beta.

criticizes said to let us realize the side of us that we've nvr realize at times.

i always felt that i learnt tings v slowly.

i still do feel that way now.

comparing to my fren who came to work on the same day as me,

i'm so much slower.

i noe, i shouldn't compare.

cos different ppl has different learning pace.

wad i can do now is to constantly learn and learn.

i will jy de.

though i still dislike myself at times.

during the past months,

many things happened.

i dun deny that my emotions and feelings are in a turmoil.

i might have thought of things wrongly,

i might have felt things/ situation wrongly.

i might have jumped into conclusion too.

but idk anything.

i only noe that i am slow at realizing things,

not tactful at handling situation.

and i noe that i do tend to escape from reality.

but i do noe that human ain't perfect.

i cnt keep harping on those flaws that i have :)

cos, wad i rly noe now, is to learn more things..

be it in life or during work.

idk if i'm rly giving myself alot of stress to change at times.

but i noe that if i dun "push" myself, i wun change and might be laid back.

sometimes i'm rly thinking if i'm rly doing the right approach.

in all aspects of life... ... ... ... ...

absense makes the heart grow fonder :)

wa ! idk why but i suddenly wanna buy refrigerator and wanna treat some of my frens suddenly x.x
ah, save up pls, cher eng !
must listen to that fortune teller LOLOL !!!
he was like telling me to stop spending so much T.T
which i totally agree :/

Currently have alot of plans. Wanna make full use wid my money/pay. Was thinking of gng to do volunteery work bt doubt that i can do so when i wanna go out :x nvm. I still can do some donations. Lemme list down the things i wanna do xD
1. Donations
2. Treat family to a meal (maybe zi char, since idk wad else to treat :\)
3. Treat mum to facial
4. Learn driving
5. Buy phone (bought le :p)

And loads more bt cnt think of any more cos brain is currently dead nw :\

On a side note, things seem awry nw. Hope they will become beta :\

working on my off day tdy ! i was wondering when can i go change my batt cos my batt seems weird :/ i can only see "100%" when i finished charging my batt for the first time but subsequently, i cnt see "100%" even though i've een charging it for more than 3 hrs and even 5 hrs. weird huh :/ it's still a v new batt.

extreme decisions made are considered for a v long period of time. it's of cos not due to a momentary harsh decision nor for own satisfactory purposes.. u wun understand. and i tot that u have changed. at least a little. or even did some reflection. but u didnt. how disappointing. guess i was being naive, once agn to hope for some changes.

cher eng, u need to check os :) carefully . :)

now guys are becoming more and more petty.

-_-

wad for throw ur temper.

it dun help anything.

if u're tired or wad, i can understand.

but i certainly cnt understand why u can always have this fiery temper !

being mcp is worse enough.

and now, this attitude, this temper.

full of nonsensical shit