It feels so terrible... all my drive seems to be killed and gone...
Things taught are forgotten and were claimed that i didnt teach anything.....
U even claimed that udk what im doing.. how could that be... im doing work beside u. And now and then, you would turn and ask what im doing. Hello? Isnt it obvious ???? Zzz.
All the shit all drop down from the top.all the frontline ppl only knows how to come to me even after i directed them to the person in charge. They wld also expect me to ask the person on their behalf. Zzzz
Im so tired of all these nonsense.

Im so tired at times.... work is giving me alot of shit. Im trying to handle the stress and the grievences that i felt at work.. luckily i have gym that helps me to destress healthily. So much that ive grown a liking to it. I felt better after a run...

When i got home from work, it should be a home where i wont feel those stress. But somehow.... i felt worse at home. People get angry with me for no reason. Those favouritism... sometimes.. i felt like the ppl closest to me ... dont even unds how i feel. I dont need u to unds me. I dont need u to ditch the favouritism... i just need u to unds that i dont get angry for no reason. And just get angry at me.. even if things get better that day, i wont even know how long it will last. I dont even have the energy anymore... to hope that it will last. Im pretty certain that things will revert to its worse self after a few weeks or even a week later...

All these.... r really exhausting me..

My heart really hurts when u told me to cry....

I kept thinking about this recently......
If i really were to only take care of my family for the short run.... idk how i can even bear to take care of them for a while and then let them go back to fend for themselves at an older age...

At their current age... i alr bu fang xin about them.. sometimes... the kind of attitude i received and conflicrs... is nth if i can take care of them.. it just dont feel right for them to take care of me till i grew up and left them alone..

This reminded me of my grandmother.. all the kids grew up and stayed with their own family. Only her youngest son stayed with her. She often missed breakfast as she has no strength to go out to buy and there is no one to take care of her...

Thinking of this... how could i even bear to leave them alone...? Sigh...

Why must people keep bringing up the past....... what is in the past shld just let it be. Please stop digging and opening my old wound.

And why cnt ppl just try to understand me more ? Im trying but im very stressed up at work.. why cnt ppl just ask me if everything is ok before any assumption? Im stressed. And if im stressed..... i rly dk how i look like to others.. my mind is full of other thoughts.. please just..... understand....

I feel so blessed to have u in my life :))))