i hope, i'll be able to jump across this hurdle beautifully
at least for that fateful year.
i rly do hope, i can . i nid luck

it's okay.
be optimistic.
things may not be so bad.
and omg. i'm kinda enlightened :D lOL

things dun go e way i want now.
i seriously want this thing to be good.
at least.
let it go e way i want.
cnt it be done?
i doubt dere is any moment where i felt so helpless like this.
perhaps dere is. no, dere were moments like this.
but, not as helpless as now.
who can i turn to now?
ppl i can turn to, ain't able to help me.
:(

i think this week is e worst week of school since e holidays end !
Had been sleeping at 12 plus everyday this week and waking up at 6 everyday.
this is the worst school timing i have so far.
(excluding cca life)
Maths PBL just done. i think
report left a bit more. nono. perhaps 2 pages more.
BMT , a new report to be done.
EMD quiz done and was so jealous !
why? cos i helped him wid his quiz and just for one try.
he got 100. SO JEALOUS !
i cnt even get 100 for mine and dun wanna try anymore for fear of being locked out.
when me and ziyu helped my cls, e most mark we can get is 90.
but when i helped e other cls. e lowest i got for dem is 95.
i think e lecturer is biased to give us such difficult questions !

AND. i'm getting so weary fretting abt fyp grouping.
so exhausted from e 5 plus hrs of slp everyday this wk.
i rly just went dead to the world the moment i closed my eyes.. IN E MRT ! :/
so gonna get a nice nap tmr aft sch.
and a proper dinner.

sometimes, i wonder if i'm being over friendly. tt's me aint it? :/

been super busy recently.
omg. why are dere so many ppl saying tt i'm stressed :x
aint tt gd? HAHA.
still fretting abt fyp ://
btw. went for bro's chalet last sat ! xD
so busy helping out and tt tire me out :/
nevertheless, it still feels good helping to make things happen for my family.

some guys are just so jerk !
i despise some of dem.
and some others, treat r/s as a game.
but dun wry. e guys whom i've just mentioned are in no relation to me.
a vvvv normal fren whom i dun wanna talk much to.
=.= idiotic.

I HATE PPL TELLING ME THINGS AT THE LAST MINUTE.
:/
i understand , tt's for sure. BUT.
most of e time is lidat.
irritated man ://
if someone else is telling u things last minute, tell dem not to.
if u're e one. DEN DUN !!!
:/

so tired recently.
but not as much as last wk.
had a 3 hr nap on a fri w/o me knowing it.
was dead to e world back den.

things to be completed:
1. RWP report
2. BMT.
3. Maths PBL
4. EMD online quiz
5. GEMS ppt

tt's kinda all and it's a burden !
to my sleeping time . HAHA.
**
andand. i love having that topic.
carline and hueylin should noe ! xD
talked so much abt it tdy.
and. pls stop being so pxtxy. (not a bad word. dun wry. if u see a bad word coming out from me, den i must be REAL REAL REAL REAL MAD ANGRY. HAHA)
***
anw. this is totally random.
i was walking to e mrt as usual when tots strucks me agn
was still amazed by how things can become so miraculous.
strangers to frens xD
tt's fate :D
and to upgrade tt status further is of cos, a beta fate (;

i feel.. so weird recently.
e feeling of something missing just made me feel so empty.
inside out :/
wad issit?
weird weird weird weird feeling.
redundant :/

HOW IRONY !
i agree "you reap wad u sow".
but, wheneva i put in more efforts, things turn awry !
and ain't up to my satisfaction :(
tt's saddening.
and tt made me want to put in slight effort in my work.
though i wun .
i rmb myself putting in effort in my work.
and results are fine.
i put in more this time round.
and results ain't up to satisfaction.
though e lowest is at least a 70.
tt ain't enough.
oh bother ! :/

if person A were to tell u bad tales abt person B.
would u tend to hate person B?
even if it ain't any feeling of hatred.
would u strt to dislike person B?
or if not, just keeping an arm's length away?

personally, in e past. i wld.
not hate. just keep an arm's length away.
but not now.
cos ppl may have different opinions abt different ppl.
and dere may be a lot of factors contributing to e dislike that they felt for e other.
If person A were to complain abt person B to me,
i'll still treat tt person B like normal.
i mean, still frens.
BUT, i will be more wary and observe for myself wad a person B is rly like.
who noes, u may find person B a fine person and rather,
person A e sly one.
u nvr noe. rte?
so nvr ever jump into conclusions just because bad things were being said abt a perticular person.

i've seen many ppl have a same approach as me (last time)
but i soon realised that,
u'll have to see for urself ,
all e things that's happening ard in life.
nvr ever judge a person just by one sided stories said by other.
so, if i were to dislike this person,
all i have to do is just to spin tales abt tt person.
and tt would make everyone dislike e latter.
tt's of cos not e rite approach .
ain't it?
so tt's y i wun do that.
i'll sure see for myself.
even if my super close frens were being said bad abt.
for super close frens in this case, i'll speak up for dem,
saying my opinions. good of cos.
but i'll see for myself too.

i hope ppl wun jump into conclusions.
u have eyes to see for urself.
y listen to others and not see for uself?
tt's wad i've seen a lot of times alr.
and within a family.
not mine of cos.

men want to be a woman's first love but women want to be a man's last love.
(:

this is e 100th post !
*applauses*
i was actually thinking of when my 100th post will come.
cos i intend to blogged sth happy abt it.
yes . i'm happy.
but. i feel so disappointed in myself.
more effort put. but...
:/

everything will be fine in the end. If things are not fine, it means that it ain't e end.

hatred towards myself :/

sometimes, it just sets me thinking.
if i were that hardworking durin my sec sch life.
and were to get truly fabulous results.
would i still wanna aim for a jc?
if i were in e first yr of my poly life.
i would go for it w/o thinking.
cos it just ascertain a much higher chance for a footing in e uni.
aft time goes by, i found a higher liking to my current cls mates.
this is of cos not inclusive of ... ...
it's fate as u may say.
so, if i can enter a jc, i wld still choose sp.
i wld still appeal into sp, into this course.
i wld still choose this particular gems.
i wld still choose these ccas.
i wld i wld.
i may have a certain tinge of regret in this decision making b4.
but i noe that e happinesss found in making these bunch of frens will certainly cover the sadness once felt.

i felt v happy when ppl care for me.
even if it's just a small concern.