i nid to rant it out.

only can do so by blogging i guess.

but not here :D

i thought this this thought will disappear when i wake up the nxt day.

but it's still here.

i duno y i think of it this waY.

something is so wrong wid me.

i noe i shouldn't.

but i feel that i should.

we shouldn't.

but i think we should.

TSK. IRONY =.="

SIGHS

hahahah ! thanks blog for listening to my rants (:

a pity u cnt talk to me.

guess i'll lay on bed and emo agn.

stone too.

cnt fall asleep.

爱情不是等你有空才珍惜

也不是等你觉应该才珍惜

wadeva i do ain't enough.

he dun have to lift a single finger and u'll talk so nicely to him.

this is not me being petty or wad.

this is like seriously.. UNFAIR.

i dun expect u to be super super super super gd to me.

but at least.. dun throw temper at me, as and when u like.

i'm tired even if u ain't.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

will u only be satisfied when i put away ALLLLL my work.

just to keep the house clean and w/o a single sign of dust?

this is just so unfair

i feel so vexed.

deleting many things on impulse now ! x(

tsk.

tsk.

tsk.

:(

sighs.

wad am i thinking abt !!!

:(:(:( !!!!!

i actually has this thought..

WHY!?

OMGGG.

OMG WHY. :(

WHYWHYWHY!

GOSH.

ISSIT COS OF MY MOODINESS NOW?

:(

wth la tsk.

i come home late everyday from sch.

how do u expect me to help.

yes i helped.

but u nvr say abt it.

u just said abt the times when i nvr do anything.

=.="

lame laa.

TSSKKKKK !!!!!!!

i felt so useless for not being able to do anything to help

and.. tskk. can u stop ranting the moment u reach home?

i noe u're tired. but.. that's not the way u shld do. tsskkk =.="

everyone is so stressed out.

including me D:

but hey, plan our time wisely !!!

i nid to do that too !!!

now, i have more than 12 to-do-things in my list :(

oh bother.

well, wanna say, everyone..

just hang on. HANG ON...

just a bit more. the hectic period is ending soon.

the one month period is ending soon !!

stress makes us do things faster !!

dun be stressed D:

nid to do things !!

jy ah everyone D:

i nid to jy too !!!!

so many things to do.

dying soon alr :(

sch is soooo tiring !!!
fyp's ending in like 2 more months?!?!?

and we heven even settle on our company.

GOSH. we're soooooo dead.

wait. we're not even totally settled on design yet :(

great. super DEAD.

sooooo many thing yet so little time to do.

esp wid this addition of this module.

at least 2 new projects weekly.

thanks ah.

thanks for adding on to our heavy workload :)

kk. i shall stop ranting. LOL.

but i cnt stop ranting too.

no one to rant to :x heh.

HAHAHA. omg. so irony.

gosh gosh gosh.

and oh. tmr staying in sch till duno wad time for fyp :(

dreaded it sooo much !!

but it's 6 credits. cnt dun care :(

esp for me where my marks is at the dangerous zone D:

aaarrrrggggghhhh D':

on a side note..

one mech test, one pd's test.

nxt wk.. one interview test, one presentation

and FYPPPPPPP

during yog.. fyp :(

and right aft it, during our study wk. 3 tests.

and aft that. 3 exams.

ANYMORE?! D:

----------------------------------------------------

sighs.. been thinking abt a lot of things recently.

felt sooo empty.

i think i'm gng crazy soon. LOL

no wait. i'm always crazy wad.

those little little things that i've been thinking of are like..

wad happened in the past?

yeah i noe. since it's the past.

why think abt it?

but sometimes it kept haunting aft me :/

i only noe how to console ppl not to think abt the past.

but i cnt do it myself.

irony agn :/

other than that.. i've been thinking abt some other things. :(

*hhhmmm* :/

it's gd to confide in ppl. so that u'll feel beta..

i actually has a lot a lot a lot in my mind.

wanted to blog dem down,

to vent them out.

but i've forgotten most of dem alr.

that could be a gd thing too.

cos at least..

i have one lesser emo post (:

i'm just being confused i guess. :/

hope everything's fine, for u :)

*yawns*

so tired.

need loads and loads and loads of slp D:
and.. i'm lazy to update abt the outing previously :P

heh.

the ending of au revoir taipei is cute

i'm sry but i dun feel like talking now :(

sometimes..

i wished i were so smart that i can noe every single things that i should do.

and at times.. i just felt to tired of life.

and.. at times.. i just felt that thinking of ppl's flaws is so tiring.

so, i chose to think abt their gd pts.

and.. maybe cos of that . i got used to their bad pts i guess.

no one is perfect, yes. so no pt kept thinking abt their bad pts..

i only noe i'm so vexed wid everything.

i'm sooooo tired.

i nid a shoulder to lie on to.

even if dere is.. i dun have time to do so.

everything is suffocating me.. so much.

at times. i just dun recognise myself.

i rly duno wad a kind of person i am.

a quiet person?

a noisy person?

emo person?

happy person?

i guess i am all.

and whether i'm a nice person or a bad one in fact, i cnt say..

cos it's up to ppl to decide for themselves.

not me.

i hate to see ppl being so emo ard me where i cnt even do anything

i'd rather i'm e one emo-ing.

i'm seriously.... so tired.

physically yes for sure.

mentally? i noe i am feeling that way to the max last time.

now?

am i numb?

i cnt feel anything :(

it's so torturing.

very..

i only find myself emo-ing cos i'm being affected by ppl's mood.

or maybe it's cos i'm tired (physically) now.

so i sound weird everywhere.

sms. calls. blogs. plurk.

Everything is in a hectic recently.

last wkend.. i'm happily slacking.

cos i've like done almost everything.

but ytd is a super busy day.

it's gd to a certain extent.

cos i have no chance to slack :D

i must jyjy and jy.

everyone too !! :D

i love heart-to-heart-chats

at least, i can throw wad i feel , out.

it makes me feel beta.

it's beta than sms-ing at times..

when the message get passed out so slowly.

and ppl misinterpret my meaning.

and when late replies come,

i totally forgot wad i msged alr :x

HAHAH

i feel so bad.. for causing so much misery to you..

how i hate myself.

duno wad i can do, just to cheer u up D:

i cnt handle this... alone :/

i hate myself.
why?
i duno

i'm sooooo tired.
how i wish for fyp to be finished fast.
seen zhane so tired over it.
and yes i am too :(
gosh !
i wanna rest .. and be free from it !
i was so happy that i was kinda free for a while from fyp.

only for a while but.. my mood was so much lifted.

not that much stressed .

so tired.

tired and busy till i cnt tolerate any more shit.

pls dun gimme craps anymore =.=
it's not funny.

i'm not worth u being so concerned abt :/

xD

i'll put on a brave front.

a fake smile.

not that i wanted to.

it's cos i've no choice but to do so.

thanks for all the concern,

the consoles and such.

time will cure things.

will make things be beta.

i noe it will.

but the hurt is still dere.

the pain.

the memory, of how u used to laugh at me.

and the words.

guess, i'll need to put all these behind me.

and if fate rly wanna stop me from being frens wid u,

i guess i'll have to accept it.

guess i've made the wrong approach.

guess i'm just being plain stupid.

i shld have asked grace for help.

if not, things wun become such a state now.

i appreciate everything that u have done.

and i'm rly glad of that.

but why cnt be frens?

we can be super close.. as gd frens.

this is the first time i wished i were single.

cos, at least things wun be so complicated.

or that's a wrong thinking?

can things dun be so complicated, at least for once?

and you noe wad?

it hurts me to always be careful wid my words.

cos i can anticipate this coming.

i knew this would come.

and the nxt thing i noe, it'll be u gone..

from my fb fren list and msn and hp.

not from mine but urs.

just like last time.

so that's y i was so scared.

but my fear is so redundant.

cos history still repeats itself.

dere's nth i can do.

cos i noe of NOTHING.

ABSOULTE NOTHING to solve this prob.

it's just so difficult.

i'm just so stupid to ever solve this.

why cnt u understand?

u're 22 yrs old this coming 11/11

i just nvr thought that u would be gone agn so fast this time round

first time. it's cos of some misunderstandings.

i shouldn't have tried to help out that time

and the second is the same as the third.

just that i duno the reason to the second time.

i dun even dare to tell you why i was so sad when u called ytd.

i just sounded so moody.

super moody.

u will nvr understand how much this friendship meant to me,

as compared to the others.

yes, if it were other ppl, i'll definitely be super sad for sure.

but not as much as yours.

i duno. i duno i duno

i rly duno

i rly cnt understand

i'm rly at a lost.

you're a fren. whom i cherish so much

and i'm super touched by wad u did.

you stay at bukit panjang.

and even offered to send me all the way to my doorstep.

u traveled all the way to simei,

just to keep me companion.

you traveled all the way to pr,

just to accompany me for my bday

you traveled all the way to pr,

just to "sit" me to my "home"

i truly appreciate wad u did.

i noe you'll never read this.

because you dun even noe my blog link.

so, i guess, i'm just blogging this down to vent my sadness out.

i cnt be telling this whole story to any other ppl.

cos they have their life.

they have their things to do.

and...

i'm feeling so devastated now.

if things were to happen all over agn.

i guess the outcome would still be the same.

goodbye forever (?)

i dun wanna this

Is history gonna repeat itself?

i hope not, but i think it will.

wad can i do?

It's not up to me to decide if u shld stay in my life.

maybe.. u r rly still weird aft all?