do u have any idea of hw i feel when i tried to lengthen the conv and tried to keep talking but all i received was a one word reply ?

i tried putting myself in ur shoe that i decided to ignore everything else and tried talking agn , but all i received was the same treatment .

i dun need any monetary awards nor any gifts from u .

all i want was a normal conv like before and no attitude from u .

issit so difficult to achieve ?

or issit cos i expected too much ?

i noe i shldn't be ranting too much over here cos i dun like ppl to noe too many things but , dere is only a few ppl whom i've given my blog link to and i doubt that they'd ever read this .

so it's fine i guess ?

and oso , it could be me giving an attitude reply or a seemingly-attitude reply ????

i no longer noe wad to say , wad to think or wad i shld be feeling .

i only noe that i want u to be happy but u seem to be sian all day long .

so i tried to talk more to u but i received sian-ned replies and even one word replies.

idk wad to continue but i didnt wanna give u one word reply too cos i dun like ppl giving those kinds of replies

knowing that u were at home the whole day , i tried to rush my work and meet u when i'm so beat aft sch but all i saw was ur sianned face .

not even a single smile .

maybe that could be the reason why i feel so happy even when i saw one smile from u .

and , i want u to rest early cos it's good for ur health ..

but u kept telling me that u cnt fall asleep ..

i want u to have proper meals and take care of urself more but u kept telling me that u have no choice and need to work .

i noe and i'm aware of that .

but , issit so difficult to treat urself slightly beta ?

at least, have proper meals to keep ur day gng .

wait . i guess that my life totally revolves ard u .. this feeling sucks cos u ain't happy most of the times .

this is equivalent to me not being happy most of the times too ..

i've nvr ever tot that someone's feelings can affect me so much .

not even my frens nor my ex ..

they are capable of affecting me for awhile, only.

different culture , like wad my fren used to tell me in my poly life ?

different thinking , definitely .

i initially wanted to rush part of my work and meet u aft that ..

but i guess that dere is no longer a need for this , since u said that i gave u such a reply.

maybe i did give an irritating reply but if u rly noe me well , u wld noe that i dun have any of such intention . u may tell me that u noe . but if u noe , u shld understand . wait , i shldn't have wished that u'd understand .

but , wad i knew was , the replies that u gave were obviously irritated ones .

i decided to off my phone and charge cos it's left wid 1%. (that's my habit to off phone when it's charging)

aft awhile , i decided to on it and charge just to reply u and try to cheer u up .

once again , i received a one word reply .

i tried to talk sth else but dere isn't any reply thereafter .

feeling disappointed , i off my phone again ..

i feel so terrible now . i noe i shldn't ..

i noe i cnt afford to .

but i cnt help it .

and this is the fourth time ..... that i .......... (u noe .. wait . u duno)