ytd was really a terrible night. initially, i was thinking if i should stay up for the night to see my results but was afraid that i might end up like the previous sem-- all sad and have no mood to sleep u[on seeing my poor results. thus, i tried to sleep but could not sleep at all. i laid there for two hours and more, feeling sadder and sadder... i really dont unds how can i make my mum angry that she gave me the cold shoulder. how could i do anything to agitate her when i go out early and reach home later than her recently. and if i reach home early, i tried to help out with the housework but the clothes weren't dry due to the heavy downpour recently.. i refrained from crying but could not stop the tears from flowing... i know i'm weak but i was really really really really devastated. over all the years, it seems as though im the only one getting the cold shoulder. i do understand that you are having bad mood from ur work but..... why me? why is it always me? what did i do? my stomach growled and i need food desperately...just to cheer me up. i opened up the titbit that i bought the other day and ate half of it but my mood just remained as sad... and someone is asleep.. there's no one to talk to.... i really felt very very very sad. only way to make me sleep was to on my mp3... i really cant imagine how i am going to sleep if my mp3 was spoiled... at the very next day, i on my comp and saw ppl's fb updates saying that their results improved. only then did i pluck up courage to check my results. expectation: qm: b-, solids: b-, thermal: b, complex: b, lab: B+. results: qm: b, solids:b+, thermal:b+, complex:b+, lab:b+. the only correct expectation was lab. this made me recall that i wished the previous night to not have any mod that has a score of b-. i even thought to myself "i won't be greedy. just no b- and the rest b but just give me one b+ cause i need my results to improve." my cgpa did improve but i wasnt happy at all... and after that, i proceeded to go work. while in the train, u asked me what happened. i was happy that u asked but when i was typing the incident, my tears just flowed and i felt so terrible... i didnt want anyone to see me crying so i didnt continue typing... well, i just cried again... so useless. :/

why is everyone so busy...... :( :( :( :( :(

i need someone beside me right now, badly.... sighs...

had been shopping for alot of things during tis hols. handbag, school bag, working shoes, wallet, clothings. these things easily cost alot of money :/ ohh noo hahahah

am i being sensitive? i actually get quite puzzled by people's reply easily. eg: me: i work as attraction ambassdor. we are like ambassdor that tries to attract people to our attraction like those ambassdor in uss. S: is it like tour guide? me: tour guide and attraction ambassdor are different S: ya i know that they are different. i do not quite get your job (if you know that they are different, why mention it? i'd rather you ask me specifically what we have to do while working. ) the next one is like G asking S if he will be free for movie the next day. Z replied saying that S would need to work the next day but G went to tell another friend of ours, J to reply to the whatsapp group just to ask again if S will be free tomorrow. i tot Z just said that he cannot make it? am i being too sensitive or wad? why do i find these replies weird and got affected by dem? what is wrong with me? :/

why didnt i hear such words when we were tgt? it's quite absurd when we broke up and didnt really contact. i knew all along that u misunderstood my reason for breakup even though i explained it clearly to u (maybe not clear enough for you to unds). you said that we will be better together. i actually do not really understand this sentence. we all along have the communication problem. with this problem hanging around, not solved or even trying to have it solved, how can i actually have faith when you wanted to be together again? wouldn't you find it weird when u seldom talked to this person and he suddenly messaged you, telling you all these when he didnt even mention nor try to do anything after and during the relationship? if it were me when we were tgt, i'd definitely be very disappointed. i see no point it in right now as my thinking slowly changed. my attitude changed unknowingly too. i unknowingly treat someone coldly or not as nice if given the same treatment though i will still tend to care for that party at times. i will definitely cherish those people who makes me feel loved. those that didn't give up on me and is constantly trying to win my heart. those who used their actions to actually convey their message rather than all talk and no actions.

i really wonder if it is due to lack of sleep or that i've always tolerated those nonsense that i felt irritated when you say me. or is it just me having a bad temper ? i dun wanna be easily irritated when people say abt me.. it seems soo petty. sighs

no matter how cui myresults are this sem, im gonna be as hardworking as i was the previus sem for my next coming sem cos i will be taking up seven modules. three more mods as compared to this sem's. i cant afford to study at my own pace cos i cannot catch up with the speed and progress of the overloading lectures and work

im so gonna drown next sem. planning to take 7 modules. one lab that requires matlab plus many many lab reports while another module requires writing report as well :(

i am so tired but cannot fall asleep right now and my tears cant stop flowing...

will i ever get to hear that sentence again? im not sure... even with many people of the same situations as me, i feel o lonely.. feel so alone fighting this monstrous battle, all by myself...

sometimes, i really wonder how you have been. after seeing u in ntu that day, i really felt that u look sad. wanted to approach but the fear surged up and i just fled. lol. hope you are doing all fine.. hope you had a nice bday celebration ytd.

happy bday,cpy...

i dun wish to score b- in any of my modules, esp the toughest one, solids... :( i scored really low for my midterm cos i didntnoe where to copy the answers when they are just right in front of me. im really really.... speechlessly stupid :( sighs. else i could have passed. i lost around a total of 30 marks cos of that. seriously heartpain.. when this test is like 25% weightage. :( any drop in my mark will remove me from my current class. i really aim for a second upper but seems like my second lower cant even be maintained... oh god. please save me :( i rly want my gpa to be pulled up alot alot this sem but doubt that it can work.

i will change my status one day :) during the time when i think that the time is ripe :p ( i seem to talk like in some show hahahah)

thanks for entering my life. i think that's the greatest gift that i have in life. :) Despite all those unhappiness that i have experienced or experiencing now, im considered quite contented in my life. I do not deny that im being very disappointed with my mum or my studies but i can tell everyone that i will not give up. i just need some time to encourage myself and abandon those negative thoughts that include giving up. i do not like to give up and will continue to complete my studies the moment i've started on it. i really need to hang on.. guess im just getting used or trying to get used to failures and sadness inflicted by things or people. jiayou !

又是另一张不及格的考卷子。。。每个人都说第一题很容易做但是我却不会做。太笨了吧？：（ 幸亏的是，我做了最后一题。那题是大多数的人不会做或没时间做的。。。 ：（

hehe i love u :p

no idea why i am feeling so sad now. like there is no reason for me to...

it just seems like no matter wad i do dun help at all, no matter how hard i try. im such a failure...

sometimes, im just afraid that u will get tired of me as time passes and not treat me as good by den. u will just get tired of my forever complainings of feelinirunwell... lalala

i suddenly feel so lonely after yesterday. my phobia acted up again and i had alot of nightmares ytd though i only recalled two. i dreamt that i weren't feeling well along the street and no one bothered. not even someone who is closed to me. i noe that i'm thinking too much but....i really had my phobia back up again. i couldn't be happy no matter how much i tried today.
i actually cried myself to sleep ytd night after quite long. couldn't sleep and cannot remember what time i actually fell asleep. i kept wondering why i am feeling so insecure...

this feeling really really sucks and i actually felt that im making a molehole out of nothing... sighs.
where can i go on sunday after my driving lesson? it's too early and i dun want to go home cos i cnt do anything at home... who can actually keep me companion? it's ok. i think i can just walk around alone too...

why do i miss u so much :'(

i get jealous easily :x hehehe

to be frank, im still not feeling fine. beta, maybe. slightly beta, yes. very slightly...
im just frantically hiding my emotions so that i can smile and laugh with my friends. no point sulking in front of dem

u just made me feel so so awful. can i just stay out tonight ????? :(:(:(:(:(:(:(

the feeling of walking alone.. wait. im just thinking too much, am i ?

why do i feel so insecure and get jealous so easily ? this has never happen before ...

sometimes , i rly wonder if im expecting too much or being too critical. i tried to not get affected by the words that u said cos i noe that it's ur character but i failed to do so. i noe that u do care for ppl but the words that u said really kinda disturbed me. cos it seems as though u r blaming me. esp this sentence "you are being irresponsible to your tummy".
i didnt.. if i did, i wldnt have cut down alot of chili this year. i didnt touch dem when they are just in front of me cos im concerned abt my health. i noe that given my condition, im not supposed to touch chili at all.. but sometimes, i still eat dem cos i forgot. esp ytd. maybe i expected too much. i shldnt even hoped that someone wld tell me to take care.. maybe i shld rly drop that criteria in anyone.. no more sadness den.
or maybe im being too sensitive.

tried to sleep but my mind was being noisy. my head is really hot now.. eyes all red.. it seems as though dere are two voices talking to me.
one told me that i shldnt be too petty. shld just smile it off and ignore the things that hurt or even annoy me. even if they are accusations.. and that i was being too critical and sensitive. i know jolly well her character. i do noe that she do care alot abt ppl . i shldnt be affected by this.

another one just told me that she was being too insensitive. she shldnt kept chiding me but hope that i can attend the dinner later. i should just tell her how i feel rather than controlling dem and just replied "..." cos i was upset. it is not as if i did it on purpose. it isnt the first time that her words affected me. dere's once where i was really irritated cos of her accusations and that i just walked away and tried to put on a smile. really forced it out.  and she ended up being annoyed cos i walked too fast and blamed me for it.

so wad is wad? just wad kind of a person am i ? i really have no idea. maybe wad i think of myself is different from wad i really do. maybe my forced smile still cnt cover the annoyance and even the sadness that i faced. maybe i really should just smile no matter wad happened and talk less.. just to avoid conflicts as much as possible. i really tried very hard to do this. not that im trying to put on a facade but rather, trying to reduce the damages to the minimum. having said so much, i dun even noe how to put it across to u. i dun blame u for the things u said but i really got affected more and more by the things that u told me at times. yes, maybe my communication skills really sucks. so that's why i cnt even express myself, dun even dare to say, for fear of more misunderstandings.
if i were to tell u the last sentence, i expected to hear u say "just say lah. just shoot me only". but if u do noe me, u wld noe that i seldom shoot ppl. i rather talk nicely to dem in private. cos i dun want any awkwardness unless they really pissed me off that much or even if that person is just some random strangers that i cnt even accept his/ her certain behaviour...

i dislike it when u just shoot ur mouth off without considering what the other party will feel.
i dislike it when i got hurt , misunderstood, accused and yet i duno how to say it out for fear of more misunderstandings
i dislike it when i force myself to forget the things u said just cos it's ur character to just say things out and forget abt dem in the end.
i dislike it when i am good frens wid u and yet didnt dare to be closer and kept trying to keep that small distance away
i dislike it when i told sth to my fren and ended up fearing that she might say dem all out
i dislike it when i have so much fear and yet didnt noe what i should be doing
i dislike it when i always duno how to express myself.
i dislike it when ppl dun understand how i am feeling and kept telling me things on how they feel
i dislike it when ppl tried to change my opinion based on what they see and not putting demselves in my shoe
i dislike it when i tried so much to understand and empathize and ended up being more unhappy.
i dislike it when i wanted to help but yet i didnt want to get involved in it
i dislike it when i am in a dilemma
i dislike it when i feel so stupid when im at a loss of what is the right way of handling things
i dislike it when i can only "feel" after being in one
i dislike it at the thought that i am hurting so many ppl
i dislike it when im so confused
i dislike it when i forget wad i have said
i dislike it when i cnt put my thoughts in proper words and ppl have the other meaning
i dislike it when so many things seem to be happening
i dislike myself..

i want everything to be back to the way to where they were before.

i really wonder where is this bringing me to ..
have no ans now.

SMILE
SMILE
SMILE
SMILE
SMILE PLS

i hope no one sees these few posts.. i rly feel stupid right now

i rly duno wad on earth am i thinking or feeling now .
i feel like such an idiot.

i feel so weird to have wasted my day away today. kept wanting to break out the WHOLE DAY. wts is wrong wid me. initially had alot of plans.. alot of looking forward. so much that i even told my mum wad i will be wearing ... 

where is my happy pill :(

i feel really awful today. shall cry myself to slp tonight.. i may seem weak and like a crybaby but this is one of e things i do when im sad though im not able to cry normally...

didnt feel that same kind of weirdness anymore. think that the presence was due to exam stress that i felt awful for everything that has happened. just had this thought instead today. "wad's the big deal? i will only feel happy for u if u've rly changed" doubts cleared. happy for that . table cleared of study materials as well :D hehe

i rly nid time to think thru certain things..things that i have no idea why im feeling this way. these emotions that r suffocating me.. so unbearable.

looks like i heven fully recovered?
i think i rly nid some time for isolation..

mum was worried that i might fall sick that she was happy when i decided to stay at home instead of gng out to study today.
she wants me to be back home early so that i can have sufficient rest.
it's these little little concern that warms up my heart.
i dun need monetary things.

it's just like those effort that people put in.
i can sense it.
i can see dem for myself though i normally dun mention abt dem.
so long as i noe of their existence, isn't it?
even if anyone failed to cheer me up, i wun feel disappointed.
rather, i will be upset if they didnt even try.

im happy with the things around me.
im happy to have made these good frens and the people that i've interacted with.
these people include those that i didnt have good nor fond memories of.
it's these experience and type of people that made me cherish those good things that i have now and tell myself to self check, to not be the same as dem.

should get back to studies now. lol.
i need to score real well this sem as only 11 AUs are included in my gpa :(
though one is a SU-ed core.
a core that most people dreaded.
a core that more than 50% failed
a core that the mean and median are of a failing score.
a core that i didnt want to get a "U" grade in.
wish me best of luck.
else i'd feel so disappointed and keep feeling that my hard work dun pay off.
and that maybe i shldn't have studied so hard.

but after any negative thoughts, i will automatically self motivate myself to put in extra effort cos i dun want to have any regrets.
i alr have enough regrets in the past.
didn't want to add anymore inside my "regret" history

aaron: why shaowei look so fierce? he angry ah?
me: no la. stressed i think .
aaron: u not scared ah?
me: i am ! that's why my vision is always only u , xiang xiang and fish
aaron: oh
me: den me leh ? do i look fierce too ?
aaron: no.
me: *covers mouth and keke* den? aaron: stressed
me: *covers mouth agn and niggles* good hehe

and den aaron laugh at me :'(

i feel so so so terrible now ...

this feeling sucks...

i wished for a gpa of more than 4.5 this sem due the the ratio of my AU this sem as compared to e last. doubt that im able to pull my marks up to a second upper class. hmm.. sighs.

what is wrong wid me.. why do i feel that my temper is getting worse recently. sighs. i cnt b like this

i really dislike guys who dun respect women

RELATiONSHiPS HAVE STAGES ♥


STAGE 1 (1-3 Months): The Honeymoon Stage

Everything seems perfect, both are happy and feeling “in love.” You share moments, dates and just having fun with each other, sharing laughs and giggles. It’s like nothing could stop you. Your feelings are infinite, and for once you’re thinking, “This may work out….” and it seems like nothing could go wrong. You spend hours getting ready before going out with this person.

*If your relationship ended in this stage — Most likely, both rushed into the relationship too quickly. Being together was all too sudden and just for the moment. When one starts noticing the flaws, one gets a choice to move foward, or back away. Being friends has a high percentage of working out, but nothing to stress over. Both may just need the time to get to know one another better.

--
STAGE 2 (4-6 months): The Bumpy Road
Things are going okay now. The relationship is calm and settled; both are still mostly happy. Had a couple arguments and disagreements here and there, nothing huge. Start to notice some of each other’s flaws and aspects of their personalities not seen before, but still truly care for one another.

*If your relationship ended in this stage — You truly cared about this person. You had the energy to fight for this person, yet you feel as if something was lacking, something was missing. It doesn’t feel right, one isn’t happy. When one isn’t happy, one tends to walk away to seek their new happiness. Being friends is still a possibility.

--
STAGE 3 (7-12 months): The Rocky Mountain
You start to realize who your partner really is. A few more arguments may occur. Problems with jealously, overprotectiveness may arise. Other people may come in the picture. The “in love” moments start to decrease, but you feel as if you’ve “fallen in love.” You tend to have this energy inside to strive and “make it work,” and you feel more comfortable being around this person, feeling more of yourself.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel as if you’re hurt, depending on the circumstances. You were so sure that that person was “The One.” You were so SURE that he/she was different. But like a cancer, a problem that may have happened, a small issue, grew into something larger that took over what was made between two people. You still miss this person from time to time. You still remember the memories. Being friends may be difficult right away, but over time, you slowly mature up, and learn the reality of it.

--
STAGE 4 (1 year or more): The Long Road
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years, huh? This person truly means something to you. You are “in love” with this person. He/she made a difference in your life. No one else knows you more than this person. You guys have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still strive to make it last.

*If your relationship ends in this stage — You feel heartbroken; it’s tough. You can’t sleep, can’t eat, you miss him/her, you try to move on, you try meeting new people, but seems like nothing works. For whatever reason the split occured, it must’ve been something important, or something must have been so wrong that it took over. Being “just friends” is impossible, because if you tried to be friends, you wouldn’t be able to think of them in any other way besides the one you once “loved.”

cnt expect anything..

the same phobia no matter where i go and fall in love wid

i wldnt feel so bad if u were to just tell me that u wld like to study wid dem for tdy cos of the dist...

i felt bad now cos u made me feel like as if someone is coming to keep me companion and my bad feeling eased and in the end, u actually wanted to go along wid dem.

just come if u want to. and dun if u dun want.
dun give whole loads of excuses like u dun wanna disturb me when u urself dun even wanna come in the first place cos u fear of a lack of time to study.

dun make me feel so unwanted.
im alr feeling bad enough ytd and tdy.
tyvm...

this feeling of being lonely suddenly overwhelmed me ... so, strong..

why on earth do i suddenly feel so insecure now... i shldnt b thinking so much as i nid to focus on my studies.....

问了等于没问。是我太小气了吗？ 但是真的很困扰。╭(╯^╰)╮

i dislike guys who let gals make all the decision.

i prefer guys who can make up their own mind and be decisive.

i prefer guys who ain't a spendthrift nor a miser.

i prefer guys who noes how to save up

i prefer guys who are hardworking

i prefer guys who are constantly trying to upgrade demselves.

i prefer guys who take the initiative

lol

i dislike guys who let gals make all the decision.

i prefer guys who can make up their own mind and be decisive.

i prefer guys who ain't a spendthrift nor a miser.

i prefer guys who noes how to save up

i prefer guys who are hardworking

i prefer guys who are constantly trying to upgrade demselves.

lol

i really dislike this feeling or wanting to fall sick and yet not sick. perhaps body is holding on to not letting me fall sick when exams are nearing .

i kept experiencing warmness on my head when i woke up recently. it's just like having a fever but the temp is much lower.

i really dun like it when u assume things, the both of you... i felt bad. tried to put in effort but felt disappointed when i dun see any in u. when things happened, u thought if you are able to let it go. and yet, when i hoped that u wld care, u didnt do anything to show it. what's the point of telling me to "xiao xin" when i sneezed? i have no idea. i feel really bad. so bad that i felt that i wld nid to give in my best. whenever i've decided to give in my best, i always cnt do so in face of you. why issit so ?

sighs ... ......

if u doubt me , just go and check YOURSELF.
u asked me and yet u asked if it's 100% true. i dun have to help u wid everything ok

Sometimes, if u feel that sth is gng wrong, u shld show more concern, shldnt u ?

suddenly recalled what i told you " i recover faster and faster aft each break up cos im getting more and more immune to the hurt feeling .. so much that i dun rly feel it , i think"

i think that im getting more and more quiet as time goes on ... hmmm

im sorry ... ... ...

Is scared of showing ppl too much concern as i dun want dem to b too close to me. Y is that so? Phobia? Hmm

Why on earth am i so stressed up now?? T.T sighs ... and why on earth am i so easily agitated or stressed or saddened. :'(

This is bad... im not in an exactly gd mood tdy

isolating myself by listening to music ;)

im very grateful to those ppl who are always here wid me when i needed someone .

Ever since those two ppl, i will feel scared or turned off if ppl keep calling me ..
It is nt that u cnt call but dun do so when im busy ?
I was nvr like this. Sighs

I cnt ..slp

Wad happened?:/

ok, ive decided to go sp alone tmr :)) hee. but there is no food here tmr .. hmmm

Hmm, shall i go sp alone this sunday ?

will i?

wait, i think i will . since im so tired hahaha

i rly hated myself for going to slp that nite ...

wun be able to forget that forever

i kept feeling so tired whenever i reach home recently . so tired that i dun feel liek doing anything .

this is bad .

maybe i shall stop trying to leave sch so early .

hmmmm

i have no idea what i shld be saying alr ...

大家到底知道了多少？

seriously, i dun think that i need to be taken care of cos i dun deserve any nice treatment

I rly think that i have ruined my body. Too tired to finish my meals

M i causing alot of misery?

Y do i feel so sad ?:/

i should refrain from talking so much ...

i feel so irritated wid myself.
i tot that im alr immune to certain statements but apparently, i wasnt.

g is giving me such a headache.
everyone's telling him the same thing but he wun change.
told him abt it nicely today and hopefully he will change.
feel vexed to see fish sad.
argh. zzzz . im so gonna save dem the next time i hear about those words agn.

WORDS.
so irritating.

so tired ....
i think one packet of beehoon can last me for the whole day LOL

i suddenly rmb sth while studying ..

we were given a surprised test that wasnt graded previously .
(open book one too though)
when the test ended, the tutor was asking who think that the resultant wave is a pure sinusoidal one. me and aaron raised our hands .
thus, dylan asked "my fren in black, how is this so?"
den aaron quickly took off his jacket .
HAHAHAH SO CUTE RITE .
i was laughing hard and den the whole class laughed tgt .

Fun fact from lecture slides: Penguins look alike even to other penguins; they distinguish each other through the unique beat frequencies produced, which is the resultant amplitude from the difference in the 2 wave frequencies produce by the 2 sides of their vocal organ.

doubt that i can go sp to study on sunday . or hmm , shall i ?

Why....

Realy feel that ive chnged alot ever since i entered uni .. esp abt the things i do in sch

It feels so good to b saying everything out :)

Sometimes, i dun feel like making any explanation cos it'll seem like im making excuses though they are wad happened ... i think this arose aft the p and a incident ...

Sometimes, i dun feel like making any explanation cos it'll seem like im making excuses though they are wad happened ... i think this arose aft the p and a oncident ...

Thanks guys ! I wun faint anw, so dun need to worry

Ever since that day, i rly didnt ....
But i nvr learn certain things

我好笨。要等到失去才会珍惜，是吗？
好痛好痛。。。 。。。

Sucks to be me .. hate myself terribly now ....

Im sorry ...

Cnt believe that im actually doing this in the mrt .
..

I really duno wad i shld be saying ..
I cried in my sleep without making any dreams . Guess that i anticipated this coming while sleeping .
I deserve it, dun i?
Maybe i was really selfish.
Im sorry. Im really sorry..

I on three alarm clocks ytd night and idk y i didnt off my phone ytd night.
luckily for that, i managed to wake up . None of my alarm seem to go off and None of the incoming messages could wake me up . I just slept on ... maybe i shld rite ? Den i wldnt have to see anything..

I was active i twitter previously for mths only cos of alvin ... but now, im active agn for another reason :D

people cnt seem to recognise me ytd LOL
i had to keep waving at dem before they will respond LOL !

Dere are sooooooo many smart ppl here whom the seniors deemed as "disgusting" ppl cos they are way tooooooo smart. However, i knew alot of nice nice ppl here who are so willing to help out

I feel naked, literally

Headache , giddy spells...
Kept feeling hungry bt no appetite to eat D:

Im still walking home now ... so tired .

hmm, im such a bad person

maybe , i shldnt have said anything and keep mute over EVERYTHING ...

i guess that i will be disliked

i think im falling sick soon..
kept having dry cough recently and feel cold easily too.
it cld be due to the cold weather...
and im having like poor appetite. one meal is sufficient to keep me gng for the day even if i didnt manage to finish it . lol

Unexplanable ..

Wad can i do ?

wad else can i wish for other than u being alright?

wad cld be beta??

i feel so awful bt i noe that i cnt drag it on ... ...

am i making the right approach?

am i being selfish?

wad will happen if i go get one now .. hmmm

well, it's half said..

my white lies are back

"are u feeling beta?"

"yesyes i am :)"

"are u alright? wad happened?"

"haha im okay laa :))"

this is the most boring cny ever LOL

as usual, i went to dad's side and stoned...

kept staring at my phone just to reply to whatsapp and smses

luckily ppl came to talk to me

else, i wld be the one spamming alot of ppl to chat wid me

and i actually wanted to jio frens out tmr to study tgt wid me...

anw, plan changed. gng out tmr instead

'nuff said . wad can i do ? ignore?

why was i so affected?

happy cny eve everyone !!

nice .. wad nice lies....

i nvr knew that someone can actually lie about such things.

to make urself seem beta??

have u wondered wad will happen when time comes?

ur lies will be uncovered and make u look so ugly..

thanks for lying to me all along ..

"appreciated" these cos they made me understand u super clearly

am i causing alot of miseries?
i just really duno how i shld react cos i nvr seem to be able to do anything correctly .
oh bother

Whywhywhy am i feeling so weird now . Matrix, r u responsible for this ??????????

This is so irritating . I can do the same question for over 10 times and not being able to get the correct ans . Instead, i got different answers wid each tries . Bravo .....

Some things are beta off as unsaid i guess...
Hurts bt no choice

i think that im a sinner ..

hmm .. :/

Prof said that first yr's gpa isnt impt as second and third yr's AU will b much more. By the fourth year, our gpa will b ard there . I wld agree wid this but i will still wanna strive for a much beta gpa for my second sem ... it seems like alot ppl are getting second upper class. I noe that i can get it too ... maybe a first class is too much to ask for . Im only aiming for a sencond upper. Just wanna up myself for one class ;) i noe i can do it ...

I enjoy being single now cos i dun have to worry abt hurting the one that is impt to me ... nor worry abt him making me tear and hurt and accusing me for the things i do . I dun have to face jealousy that im spending time wid my family and not having time for him . I can solely concentrate on my studies. How great can this get when i dun have to suffer more hurt ? Who noes that THIS could be due to the fact of this incident just like my poly third yr , first sem ??? Nah, not blaming like u wld ....

this is the FIRST time i mugged on the first week of sch and recap what i've learnt for the day itself daily ;)

feels so happy to have accomplished this.

if time permits, i will do the questions in the tb before lecturer starts teaching us about it ..

this rly makes me understand what the lecturer says muchmuchmuch beta :D

and i feel happy that bro clinched a biz deal from my fren ;)

thanks fren !

Lol . Senior said "it is only the first wk of sch and u guys alr mugged till so late" . Lol , i dun rly find it late actually haha . Only leave ntu three hrs later as planned . Guess i will reach home at 10pm today ... poor clothes . Sighs

the first week of sch is barely over and i can feel that time is running real short already :(

wonder why i always wanna fall sick when cny is nearing

sometimes, i rly think alot .

but i'm rly tired to think too much into words

can everyone stop telling me such things?

i just want to really concentrate on my studies

im aiming for a 4.5

and tdy is the first time that i look thru wad i've learnt today in lesson

lemme score real high, pretty pls?

my gpa rly sucks right now.

it sucks to be me but i'm still gonna strive

it rly is different alr lol

zen me ban ... ...

history ... wait . nope . it's history of other ppl ...

i'm rly trying ... but .... just dun wanna think abt it i guess ..

zzzzz

sometimes, i wondered to myself: if i can start my life all over again, how will i choose to do..

i guess, i might still wanna behave in almost the same ways as how i was before except that i need to be more observant and prevent certain unhappiness from occurring. i am actually quite glad for certain things that happened because they made me think..

however, dere are certain things that i feel that i should do instead:

1) be more observant and sensitive during my sec sch times

2) study alot harder in sec sch (but i wouldn't have known my current great friends if i did)

3) study harder in poly

4) to observe xxxx more first because that's a mistake that i wun wanna repeat else we could have been good friends now

5) to make things clear to pingyuan in the beginning and we might still be friends now? but me and his character clash as we always tends to voice out our opinions.. uh well, i still duno what could be better. just hope that u r fine with whatever you are doing now.

blabhblahblah .. cannot remember anything else now

anw, i feel that i should tolerate my brother because he cares for me. i need to be more magnanimous HAHHAA

i feel very touched and happy that he said "you are my sister leh"

just wish that you can be more ji dong though..