was at MDC the whole day these few days.

and my frens kept hearing the cat's meowing sound coming out from the "oil room" (i forgot the name) the whole day and went in to explore.

i didnt noe the whole story as i was out to buy food for frens.

returned and heard that they rescued the cat from that room.

it's placed inside a bucket and is shivering D;

omg. poor thing.

it must have been scared stiff :/

it's gonna be a new yr soon.

dere are many gd and bad things happening this yr.

i nvr regret knowing anyone.

including those that made me sad constantly.

i wanna stay happy and am trying to be happy.

but i duno why i kept thinking of certain things today.

on the mrt and i cnt even fall asleep while trying to nap.

well, i rly need to let go of those unhappiness.

but some ppl, some things, i cnt let go.

i still feel hurt but i rly hope i wun keep thinking of them.

at least i'm trying not to :)

kinda finished my fyp assembling. will upload the pic tken soon

the standing aider (wheelchair) looks rly cute xD

it rly looks like it's for those little kids to sit on :x

i rly hope everything'll be beta for u.

and i noe u wun be reading my blog anymore.

i noe i cnt contact u anymore.

and i noe that i shouldn't.

but, i rly wish that everything will be beta for u in 2011.

my digestive system, body and everything are screwed up :/

i can go w/o food for 9 hrs and dun feel hungry.

and i slept so little recently and cnt fall asleep when i was super tired.

and, my brain kept thinking of nonsense.

and, i kept feeling bad and sad for little little things.

oh great D:

if this is always fated to happen, den wo zhi hao ren ming le.

i'm soo tired tdy.

spent 14 hours in sch and just reached home not long ago. (less than 30 mins ago)

was too tired to look out my way while walking.

i think that the road's clear of cars anw.

and well.. you said "xxxxx". you were the one who said it :/

i heed it okay.

and i did do that when i'm feeling beta.

but well, still, it's xxxxxxxxxx :/

hmm. it's not a gd thing to noe me anw.

i always do or say things that make ppl sad.

if u feel beta doing this, den go ahead ba.

i wun wanna deny ppl of their "road of happiness" anymore.

not feeling good tdy.

so pardon me for this post.

this post isn't meant for anyone to understand anw.

so long as i noe wad i'm saying and typing.

so long as i think that you'll be happier.

all the best.

dear blog,

i think that humans are pathetic

and know not to cherish others.

i'm pathetic too.

always so dumb, so stupid

and thanks for saying that i'm silly instead of stupid.

cos it sounds so much beta (:

to be frank, i duno how to carry on wid this post.

dere are just so many thoughts that i wanna say, but duno how to.

wad i can say is, you rly still dun understand me.

i'm so disappointed.

things got out of hand.

just stay out of my life.

i dun need such a ppl like u.

and i dun wanna keep thinking nor saying negative things abt u.

it's not that i like to say.

it's cos, u suffocated me so much that i need to let it out.

u left me wid no choice.

and kept deeming and accusing me,

just cos of one reason:

u dun understand me at all

signing off...

dear blog,

i think that humans are pathetic

and know not to cherish others.

i'm pathetic too.

always so dumb, so stupid

and thanks for saying that i'm silly instead of stupid.

cos it sounds so much beta (:

to be frank, i duno how to carry on wid this post.

dere are just so many thoughts that i wanna say, but duno how to.

wad i can say is, you rly still dun understand me.

i'm so disappointed.

things got out of hand.

just stay out of my life.

i dun need such a ppl like u.

and i dun wanna keep thinking nor saying negative things abt u.

it's not that i like to say.

it's cos, u suffocated me so much that i need to let it out.

u left me wid no choice.

but kept on deeming and accusing me,

just cos of one reason:

u dun understand me at all

signing off... ):

dear blog,

i think that humans are pathetic

and know not to cherish others.

i'm pathetic too.

always so dumb, so stupid

and thanks for saying that i'm silly instead of stupid.

cos it sounds so much beta (:

to be frank, i duno how to carry on wid this post.

dere are just so many thoughts that i wanna say, but duno how to.

wad i can say is, you rly still dun understand me.

i'm so disappointed.

things got out of hand.

just stay out of my life.

i dun need such a ppl like u.

and i dun wanna keep thinking nor saying negative things abt u.

it's not that i like to say.

it's cos, u suffocated me so much that i need to let it out.

u left me wid no choice.

but kept on deeming and accusing me,

just cos of one reason:

u dun understand me at all

what should be the right approach?

talking does not help anymore.

we'll always revolve around the same topic, over and over agn.

even if it means me tellin u not to.

it dun help, talking to someone who dun understand me at all.

maybe i shouldn't say at all but, dun understand me quite a fair bit.

i just wanna let bygones be bygones.

why aren't you letting me do it? :/

maybe i shouldn't say abt ppl much :X
but i will still vent sometimes :P
by den, i'll still say dem :x
just wanna refrain from saying too much.

cos sometimes, saying anything dun even help.

even if it means saying to the guilty ppl

change needed :D

MERRY XMAS EVERYONE !!!! xD

think positively.. :D

it's all thanks to u being petty that i got it back. LOL

a blessing in disguise?

though it's in a bad condition (NOTE: you said that it's in top condition. bull shit ): ),

i'll still love it.

:D

and will use it to the fullest :D

i need more quotation for fabrication currently !

and need to edit report.

the others, title block and exploded view :D

caught "the nxt 3 days" tdy wid fyp mates.

the show is still so-so.

but i find that the police are quite stupid :x

though evidences are against her, cnt u guys just investigate deeper? ):

but well, if they did, dere wun be such a show LOLOL.

past, off wid time u go.

dun wanna see u agn.

i can only laugh at u :D

but, not gonna fall for those stupid tricks agn.

hmm, i'm so envious of some ppl ):

sometimes i rly felt like hating myself.

i just cnt bring it forward to sever friendship wid anyone.

and waiyu, i'm sry but i replied. LOLOL

cos i rly cnt stand him saying all those stupid and crappy things.

like "Since you have DRAWN the lines so clear..."

and true enough, he dun understand me well.

but, i can oso say that he dun understand ppl's feelings well.

i'm sure that if you tell anyone to stop doin sth and they continued, you'll be angry or at least,

feel pissed or wad.

but he duno.

he just continued.

and , u can tk all back for all u want.

cos u noe, i dun want dem.

and i dun even have a need to use them

and i dun even want to use them

and i dun even ... ... sighs.

i hope, i wun get to write any emo posts abt u, or u anymore,

to add on, sometimes, i rly duno wad to say abt u.

it's cos when ppl stand back and think abt u, all those little little negative things come out.

things like, ppl say a certain word and u use the same certain word.

it's fine i noe. but urs is, u used it w/o knowing the meaning.

and used it wrongly.

ppl feedback to you abt ur typing style,

saying that it's too formal.

i agree and when u asked me, i said that i agree wid ur frens.

okay, u changed.

but u changed it into a style so weird that i dun even understand.

it's not formal, but vvvvvvv singlish.

and from wad vin said, it's broken english.

hey, informal dun means talking lidat.

it means.. (from your style), not talking like...

sighs. forget it :x i duno wad you typed last time. dun rmb alr.

i didnt mean to blog abt u tdy.

but it's aft you type those smses,

that i think that i shld clarify a date to return u.

since you want it back.

to be frank, i've nvr ever wanted to tk it back from you.

cos "things given to u, it's urs"

but since you wanna be so petty, den i shall tk it back too. LOLOL.

i told you that we're frens, though someone told me not to be fren wid u (:P).

and told you not to say those things agn.

and as usual, you said one whole chunk of words that i kept trying to convey to u.

k la, i dun wanna say abt these anymore. nor do i wanna think abt them.

i rly want them to fade away wid time.

still, i wanna ask. am i rly softhearted??

cos i rly felt bad when i saw him walk away that day, although i felt angry too.

and i just cnt help it but reply (but aft a day of ignoring totally, :P)

aiya, in short. i'm stupid. rte? )':

forget it forget it. :x

i must look forward to my fyp only.

*focus focus*

i hope it has rly come to an end .

and i rly hope u meant wad u say this time round.

did i do the wrong thing?

i dun like anyone.

so wad if anyone confess to me ):

i wun like u.

was i overreacting?

maybe i was :/

at least, i should have a short chat?

it's like u came all the way down...

i should at least say thanks.

but i did say previously.

but i did tell u not to do the same thing agn

but i did tell u to ask me first.

but i did say i wasn't free.

but i did react badly previously (as in... kinda got angry)

but i was more of being scared last time.

this time, i was rly angry till i cnt even talk properly when i saw u.

wait correction. i didnt even look at u.

cos i didnt want to.

and... didnt dare to? :/

and all i could say was

"you come for wad?"

"if dere's nth else, i'm gng off alr. not free"

ya i noe i sounded super straightforward and harsh

but that's the only solution to u.

previously, i talked nicely.

i said "pls dun do this agn."

but things still happen.

so well, cnt blame me for doing things to harsh

i didnt wanted to anw..

i noe i've hurt u :/

aft calming down.. i actually felt remorseful and...... felt that i'm overreacting.

but..

talked to waiyu :DD

and rly felt beta..

and....... thanks for saying i'm not overreacting xD

that's wad i need to noe, right now i guess.

his fren asked me out tmr..

and i was still angry at that time.

i said "if he is coming, i'll go home straight"

but if i weren't angry at that time, i think i'd still have said the same thing.

to be frank..

at first i was kinda irritated by u.

but idk why but still tried to give u chances (to talk to u nicely ONLY)

cos i didn't want to keep ignoring ur sms.

i replied short replies.. and didnt reply all.

cos i TOT that u would reduce on the msg.

but if u did, i'll slowly feel fine talking to u..

and will reply more aft some time.

BUT YOU DIDN'T :/

i noe i will feel worse seeing u.

and i kept nvr agree to any outings that u initiated since the late sep.

other than that, you kept saying those stupid remarks.

(to wad they are, i shan't say)

told u not to say..

and u said "ok"

BUT U CONTINUED SAYING -.-

okay fine. but it's the last straw recently.

i just replied "can you stop saying those things? if not, i'll rly ignore u"

and that did the job o.o

okay. i tot things would be fine.

but u still kept blogging those stupid things in blog :/

okok, correction. not "kept" but "still, sometimes"

so i just blogged, for the first time aft mths.

telling you that words are cheap.

yes i noe, i'm soooooooo stupid to have said that.

i told u that i cnt trust u anymore.

cos u kept telling me different things.

den u said "you want the truth? i can tell u the truth over the phone now. i call u?"

the first thing that i tot was "wad truth?? more lies? :/ or more hurting things to make me recall those sad past?"

i'm trying to forget u noe...

so that i can treat u as a fren.

FREN.

(k la, just told waiyu that i'm fine wid him msging me moderately and she said 'NNNNNNOOOO'. LOLL!!! so funny. okok. back to story)

i forgot wad i wanted to say.

but all in all..

i just want u to let things rest first.

as in... not saying those stupid things.

that's why i kept telling u to focus on ur studies -.-

i dun want your studies to be affected by me.

and idk if i'm too softhearted or too stupid.

i actually tot of u being sad now and i felt bad :/

and sad too.

and stupid me. tsk me :/

i actually wanted to reply his sms wid this,

"suan le. dun do it agn"

GO AWAY LA. I HATE U -.-

and thanks very much. my friday is ruined by u.

i alr tried to treat u nicely cos i think that my actions might be biased.

but u still do it.

YOU STILL DO IT.

now it's not i dun wanna try to treat u nicely.

it's YOU WHO DUN WANNA ME TO DO IT.

that's it.

烦不烦啊

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

so wad if it's an effort.

... :/

anw, aft venting my anger here,

i felt beta alr.

but still, i'll be irritated if xxxxxx tries to irritate me agn

(edited btw)

and this post is merely to vent my anger. hadn't been angry for quite some time alr.

and congrats. you did it. you angered me

my patience is running super low now.

chancesssss given.

warningssss given

things said and you carry on

and "sry cher eng" is all u can say

so SHUT UP. STOP IT !

so wad's wid the "xxxxxx"

and me saying "pls stop saying this. thank you"

and nxt day "xxxxxx" .

LAME RITE.

and you continued "sry. can you accept my apologise"

grammatical error somemore.

and what's wid the "i'm not a PREFECT person", "action is part of everything"

and i alr reacted sooooo big that day. and zzzz. you still dare to ask me if you can do it agn.

BULL SHIT LA.

and dun say i nvr warn you, my patience is running real low wid repeated offenders like u.

and please note.. i always bear wid everyone who did wrong for very very very very long period of time. how long? is one yr long enough? and of cos.. i will forget it if ppl did a few wrongdoings. but not when they are repeated for MANY MANY MANY TIMES.

headache. lack of slp is not helping but only adds on to my anger.

i wouldn't be so angry if not for ... ...

dun test my patience.

anyone who irritate me now, wun get it for me.

cos i still have patience for other ppl but not ppl like xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. -.-" !

and..... for goodness sake. pls reflect on yourself.

STOP BEING SUCH MCP.

to you, everyone is in the fault.

you duno that you're the unreasonable one and still want to say others are in the fault.

i dun even dare to say i'm NOT in the fault.

i'd think of wad i did b4 defending myself. and putting myself in other ppl shoes.

yes i noe. i might have done sth wrong.

but at least i tried to think. YOU?

(dun assume that i'm saying you or anyone else who's reading this post, which i doubt there would. and dun get angry thinking that i might be saying you.. or you or anyone)

if things i do and say, forever gets misunderstood, den it's meaningless to continue this argument.

my blog's soooo dulll !!!

so here are some pics :D:D:D

this are the pic taken on the day we went to ly's chalet :D

once agn, thanks for the invitation xD

so *bling bling* xD

LOLOL! wad are u doin? :P

I was like anyhow snapping away ;x

and this pic, made me seem sooo fair x.x

happy gal ~ :P

i like this pic. cos it seems sooo sweet xD

like a happy family (:

and nik's like kept aiming for the cake :x

meet up soon, guys :D:D:D:D

conflicts. arguments.

necessary?

perhaps yes, to a certain extent.

i'm so sick of u 2, always quarreling.

dun u noe, sch work comes first, rather than those little little stupid arguments?

arguing over little things, rly ain't helping anything, but putting our project at risk.

as for our project...

though i've done practically nth towards the design, i can understand the feeling for hard work, all gone down the drain.

yes, everything's changed.

so, how are we gng to explain "our design", or rather, YOUR design to the judges?

changes have been done. so i think, wad we can only do now, is to ask you abt the design, yeah?

MST's over. been to liyin's chalet. had fun. and it's kinda nice to see her aft so long.

it's nice.

thanks liyin for the invitation ((:

but when i came home, all weary and yearning for some rest,

all i see, was argument agn.

yes, conflicts are inevitable.

but, aft any conflicts, we should noe wad to do, and wad not to do.

RATHER THAN COMPLAINING AND ARGUING OVER SOME LITTLE, STUPID THINGS.

from one side of the story, all i see from u, was scoldings from him and his fren.

but from another side of the story, it's more of u trying to not bother our supervisor and trying to get our things done. more of explanation.

from my part of understanding u 2's character, it's more of u, having a bad temper and you explaining things, but was misunderstood as scolding.

i've seen u scolding you in real life. so, i can sorta conclude sth. but all in all, is this argument necessary?

NO. to be frank, i DON'T see any arguments, necessary. Rather, i see explanation more necessary.

but when ppl explain, they tend to lose their temper. and in the end, conflicts occur, right?

i noe, all of u, want to get our project done, well. so do i.

i dun mind gng back to sch almost everyday, just to make sure that things are done, effectively and efficiently.

and i'm the sort of "sch work comes first, rather than outing, outing and outing". if work ain't done, or work are yet to be accomplished, i rly wun feel happy or relieved gng out.

at least, work should be 80% done? or at least 75% i guess. i wished i was hardworking last time. so at least, i wun get to poly and meet some.................. ppl.

but it's all fated. cos from some ppl , i get to noe good ppl. or at least, good to whom i think they are.

this morning, i woke up, and saw crappy things... agn

i explained some things.

do you noe, i rly wanted to tell you that, i've stopped trusting u almost totally?

all the trust, effort that i've put into last time, all came to nothing.

so now wad? hurt?

only u?

i've been hurt, cheated, saddened soooooo many times, till i felt that it's normal to be hurt by u.

dun tell me u noe the feeling.

cos u noe nth. i feel nth abt this incident alr. i'm moving on.

so shld u.

i'd rather be told the ugly truth. that's wad i told u too. but hey, wad do you mean by telling me the truth now? are u trying to tell more lies, or trying to evoke those sad feelings, all over agn?

do u noe that, you're always telling me different things, now and den?

well, i dun feel anything now alr, anw. at least, not as much as last time.

yes, i dun deny that past, always haunt aft me.

but, i'm rly moving on.

and i'm rly tking things in my stride.

i'm just tired of those arguments.

if those arguments are necessary, dun worry, i'll "debate" wid u.

but if i dun find them necessary, i wun wanna say much. cos some arguments, are rly rly rly childish. sometimes, i just doubt ppl of their age. perhaps, i dun act like my age. but some ppl, dun even act at least my age too. yes i noe, age dun reflect a person's character :/

i'm loving the improved relations wid my bro ((:

me and him, dun talk more than 5 sentences daily, last time.

and sometimes, we dun even talk.

i'm so glad that i took the initiative to help him solve his comp prob previously.

and den, me and him strted to talk more.

and slowly and slowly.

we talked more and more.

and we can rly joke freely.

so different from last time.

i'm rly glad to have tken the initiative.

should have done so, much earlier

(:

mst's nxt wk.

and aft that would be our fyp.

gonna find and research right aft my last paper.

sat i think. and sun too !

cnt do so on fri, cos gng out :D

aft my paper, though.

i'm not so stressed for my fyp alr.

or at least, i'm trying to not be stressed.

i kept telling myself

"dun wry. it'll be over soon. b4 u knew it, you'd have graduated. and now, mst's just nxt wk.

and den, it'll be spinnovex and exams. (:"

indeed, time flies.

and, went to lunch wid mum last fri

the coffee seller (mum's fren) had this conv wid my mum:

him: is that your daughter?

mum: ya.

him: i cnt recognise her. she looks so different now.

mum: *:) *

mum told me abt this conv and i went "huh? why cnt he recognise me? he saw me b4 o.o"

LOLOL. den my mum told me sth else

dun wanna say here :P

*heh*

SNORING, POOR SLEEP MAY PREDICT OBESITY, DIABETES
-------------------------------------------------

NEW YORK - People who snore, have trouble falling asleep or who wake up in the morning feeling fatigued, have an increased risk of developing conditions tied to diabetes and heart disease, a study has found.

The study, published in the journal Sleep, followed 812 people who did not have metabolic syndrome - conditions that include obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes - at the beginning of a three-year period. The patients had yearly checkups to determine if they were developing metabolic syndrome, and sleep disturbances were measured via a questionnaire.

Adults who reported frequent loud snoring had twice the risk of developing metabolic syndrome compared with quieter sleepers, the researchers found. The risk jumped 80 per cent in people who had difficulty falling asleep and 70 per cent in those who said their sleep was not refreshing.

The report is the first to examine the relationship between sleep problems that patients commonly report to their doctors and metabolic syndrome as a whole, said lead author Wendy Troxel, an assistant professor of psychiatry and psychology at the University of Pittsburgh.

"Sleep problems aren't just an annoyance but something with potential major public health ramifications," she said.

Further studies are needed to determine if sleep disorders and snoring cause metabolic syndrome, or are symptomatic of it, Asst Prof Troxel added. Bloomberg

no more emo le (:

not say 100% , but i'll try hard :D

jyjyjy !!! :D

and, wheneva i have sth in mind, i always do the wrong things :x

like, i always use my keys to tap the ticketing machine and tking out my ezlink card to tap my door x.x

LOL ! D;

i cnt put both my keys and ezlink card tgt in one pocket.

but i dun wanna put my ezlink card or keys wid my hp, in another pocket :X

LOLOL, i'm not scolding anyone nor emoing in my blog okay ~ :x

i'm just fa1 lao2 sao1 :x

when i calmed down and recalled the words u said, they hurt.

nvr did i noe that the advices that i said, were deemed as interfering.

and little did i noe that, i'm pervertic to u.

all i wanted to advice was, talk nicely to that person.

but u've done it. den so be it.

things wun change, den dere's nth much i can do.

i duno wad exactly happened.

so i duno wad i shld advice.

it's gd that u confided.

but i didnt noe that when i duno wad to advice, i was being labelled as someone who dun care

and yet, i was said to be pissed.

when all i felt was just being speechless.

i tried to emphasize things to u.

cos u dun believe.

and this, was deemed as being angry.

i couldn't be laughing when i was being so serious in trying to relay the message out to u.

and i didn't noe, it meant that i was pissed, to u.

i dun have any reason to hide my feelings.

enough is enough.

told u not to say that.

u kept "reminding" me that i dun want u to say that. true.

BUT WHY ARE U STILL SAYING IT?

u said that i shouldn't treat a 2yrs fren lidat.

TRUE. i did feel bad aft seeing that msg.

BUT THINKING BACK,

IF U WEREN'T SO STUBBORN OR DOIN THINGS THAT I TOLD U NOT TO,

i WUN have to resort to this.

true?

and, my dream "evolved" . i used to dream that i'm stuck inside a scary

building.

but ytd, i dreamt that i got stuck inside another dream that's inside my dream.

wad does this mean? ):

suddenly tot of blogging abt this cos of 1 ppl.

seriously, u need to change. if not, u'll attract more disliking from ppl.

it's for ur own gd. Just think b4 talking.

i've beared wid u for like a near 3 yrs.

tried not to talk to u more often cos...... u noe.

and cos of u, i suddenly tot of some bad pts that ppl can have that can rly turn me off:

1. People who are super crude in their talking

2. ppl who dun strive for the beta/ work hard.

3. ppl who spend money unnecessarily.

4. ppl who just shoot their mouths off w/o thinking of others' feelings.

5. ppl who are unfilial

6. ppl who get angry cos of little tings

and some more i guess.

but these are the main few which i rly dislike.

others can include things like being a hypocrite and so on.

mst in 2 wks' time.

and spinnovex in 5 wks(?) time.

so many things. but aft viva,

things would be slightly slack alr, i hope.

was so busy and tired ttm recently till i

didn't really have a proper meal and

didn't noe i was that hungry till i gobbled down my food just now.

but of cos, i didn't gobble down unglam-ly.

i rly wanna slp in this wkend..

if not, i rly think i'll fall sick soon.

though it's unlikely.

and talking abt that, i recalled abt my dream ytd.

i dreamt that i was having a fever up to 99 degree Celsius.

bravo.

HAHA ! wad is this man

and... my digestive system rly ain't gd.

trying to cut down on fried food.

i seldom eat fried food except fries D:

sighs. so everyone, pls dun tempt me wid fries.

if not, my stomach will rly feel awful D: !

do, do , do. life is so mundane.

seemun, i agree wid wad u said the other time in cls ! sad case.

and, as long as my work ain't done a fair bit,

i have totally no mood to go out.

last time, i kept have the idea of just working under someone and just do my part of work.

but now, i wanna work hard and climb up to a higher post xD

and my bro, his ambition is nvr changing -- to become a boss.

i think he has the capability to do so ((:

jy bro.

and i need to jy too :D

jy everyone !!!

fell for it once.

not gng to fall for it agn.

i cnt help but doubt u most of the times :x though i truly trusted u last time.

ignored.

and 3 missed calls ytd.

so far for tdy, 4 missed calls.

i wonder how many dere'll be tdy. HAHA !

and yes, he said that i dun believe things until i've seen them for myself :X

and, he said i always have nightmare when i slp ):

how true too LOLOL

went to look for mum last sunday and saw this fortune teller. he is SUPER accurate.

before he saw me, he knew that i am always having headache and constipation. and he explained that my constipation is due to stress and me not destressing things. how true. even my doctor said this before. didn't rly believe it that time :x

and when he saw me, he said certain things which i think are soooo true:

1) i am a quite zi bei person. (i think low self esteem is the word in english)

2) i always have negative thinking in my mind. and that is the reason to why i am "blurblur" while walking

3) i am very hardworking but duno how to study smart

4) when my mum nagged me and i dun like, i just walked away

5) i study hard but not study smart.

6) i am a perfectionist

7) in a r/s, if a guy is good to me, i'll give him my whole heart. if anything goes wrong, i'll cry my eyes out.

8) if people dun wanna tell me sth, i'll try and go dig those things out

9) i duno how to destress and i dun confide in people. so i tend to bottle things up.

10) i am quiet (but not rly when i'm wid the plurkers)

11) i dun have much friends cos i seldom talk

12) i am straightforward

13) i dun dare to talk to people sometimes cos i feared of offending them

14) i have 2 ex

15) it is my character to not look up while walking nor talk much to people. so some ppl tot that i'm proud, but i'm not.

16) if i duno how to do sth, i'll keep trying and trying till i succeed.

VERY true lo. well, talked to him and i just felt much better. bought sth from him too :) mum bought hers too.

aft that talk, i rly rly rly felt much cheerful :) and i was rly happy. partially is cos of a goondo who talked to me agn. :P and, i rly missed being happy, deep down in my heart. welcome back, happiness.

when ppl dun wanna u to do sth, den just dun do it.

cos when u do it, i strted to feel more and more rejected to reply u, which i dun want this to happen

wanted to off comp but i noe i wun be smsing you alr nor have time to blog tmr.

soo... .... .....

happy bday to u in advance.

i have a feeling that u might said "ok"

or even ignore. wadever outcome it is,

it'd be a bad one.

though i noe if i see ur reply, i'd be happy instead.

and,

i actually tot of wishing u tdy cos i was afraid that if i were to wish u tmr,

it will affect ur mood more.

cos, it's ur actual birth day.

but well, i didnt.

i think u should be feeling relieved that i didn't wish u.

uh well. i think i dun have the chance to wish u anything in future.

so, happy hari raya to u in advance

bon voyage to u in advance

happy xmas to u in advance

happy new yr in advance.

happy cny in advance.

happy ah neh neh day in advance.

happy "all hols" in advance.

happy ord in advance.

tsk. happy everything in advance :/"

i had been experiencing mixed feelings recently.

happy cos of sth ... :x LOL! secret xD

and sad cos of sth .... secret too.

):

hope it wun blow.

but well, both sadness and happiness are due to sth. no, it's someone x.x

ttsskkkk.

):

is it so hard to be frens?

tofu told me to clarify things wid u.

i wanted to. but how??

wadever i said will make a similar outcome.

so wad's the pt?

i got happy suddenly and sad suddenly cos of ....

wad's the pt too?

everything revolves ard u.

wad's the pt too ???

cos i noe, i wun be talking to u.

no, is u wun be talking to me.

to be frank, i rly miss those happy days talking abt a lot of things wid u.

i rly cherish this gd fren, though ... ...

though i rly dislike ur temper.

u're like a bomb timer.

the thought of u exploding anytime,

rly makes me withdraw from telling how i feel, sometimes.

but sometimes, u kept making assumptions that i'm not thinking abt how u feel

or wun feel sad over this thing.

this assumption rly, truly made me feel sad.

cos it's like, to u, i'm such an unfeeling person.

i hate to create another of such sad post.

but i.. rly need to let all out.

i noe, no one will read this anw (:

so it dun matter if i were to say a lot of things.

ytd (i think), my bro called u and mentioned ur name over the phone

do u noe that, the feelings that i felt are sadness, fear and memories are all overwhelming me.

and LOLOL. i think i was crazy alr. cos when he called u, i was like abt 3 m (?) away from him only.

and i cnt believe that i strained my ears at where i was sitting to try to see if i can hear anything -.-"

well, i couldn't but could only hear someone talking :x

i seldom get so affected by someone for this long.

i think, if my this fren mia wid the same reason as u now, i wun even feel this way.

though i noe that my fren wun . HAHA :x

okay. i shan't talk anymore. cos i'm rly feeling super emotional now :/

gd nite

i seriously have no idea why i feel so hurt.

cnt decipher why too ):

i rly have a lot of things to say.

... :( ...

suan le. no one reads anw.

it's the 4th wk of sch alr.

time rly flies.

another like 4 more wks to mst?

omg. that's fast D:

2 more... ... ...

i just want one thing... ... ... ...

now it's getting so suffocating.

it's either i get over it soon (which i doubt so)

or be bhb ):

blocked nose,

blocked ear,

aching ears,

headache,

giddiness

and wad else?

moodiness? D:

nth to blog. ):

it's funny and yet at the same time, hard to accomplish ):

sometimes, i rly wonder why i did that for.

just to get "a word" or????

but i do noe that i did feel happier doing that.

cos at least i did receive "at least a sentence"

lolol :/

hope i'm not doing the wrong thing.

i rly wanted to.

but i guess it's beta not to.

i dun want this.

nor do i want that.

change

and

sry

it's gd to let go.

told u to stop saying those things but nth ever goes in.

not gng to care -_-"

ever since the downtown east incident,

i've been thinking abt my fren everyday.

i kept thinking of how helpless he was, like the 19 yr-old kid.

only wid the exception that he's not a gangster and finding for trouble deliberately.

i still rmb the look on his face... ...

:/

life is so fragile.

a book cannot be judged by its cover ):

last time, i always tot that guys,

are the magnanimous and not-petty sort.

but idk if it's cos they changed or wad.

cos some of the guys that i knew, are so petty

and, even act like gals :/

i've always tot that they'd not harp over things but in fact,

some dun.

i always tot that i'm the petty one.

last time, perhaps.

but now, i've been trying to change and not get angry easily.

well, things are so different now.

guys, i'm so disappointed in u all.

and, idk why i suddenly questioned myself if i'm a les.

LOL. i noe perfectly well that i am not and i dun like gals.

but aft thinking thru, i finally noe why i asked myself that question.

cos, i'm beginning to dislike some character of the guy frens i knew.

and it's not that i dun like all guys.

it's just, i'm disappointed in them, and though i've tried hard to accept them as a fren,

i cnt. until they change.

and sometimes, i rly duno why some ppl got tgt when they duno each other well.

if u guys cnt get along well as frens, and even gd frens.

how can u guys become couple?

and even if u guys are gd frens, it dun mean that u guys can be gd tgt as a couple.

or even love each other

i've heard this sentence somewhere, and i agree.

"even if u love someone and vice versa, u guys might not be gd as a couple if u 2 dun have a future tgt"

i agree though i dun rule out the fact that dere's exception.

so sometimes, i think a lot b4 getting tgt wid someone,

to see if we can get along well.

life is forever complicating.

and sucks.

lolol. this company is weird :x

i'm rly gng crazy soon.

i dun -.- nor wth ppl for no reason.

it's obviously that i put that cos u irritate me.

and i dun get irritated easily.

UNLESS U KEPT IRRITATING ME AND I CNT TK IT -.-

and someone had to prank call me now -.-

i noe who issit though

to be frank, i feel more at a loss rather than being so emo over things.

i dun deny that i am sad. but, not totally sad cos i'm trying to cheer myself up.

sometimes, i dun confide in ppl whom i've nvr confided in b4.

and, wad i'm feeling kinda down now and.. feels like hiding from everything

indeed, i am not alone.

i noe.

but sometimes, frens cnt be always dere for me :x

why am searching?

searched for 62 pages alr.

or maybe 65 pages?

no point

chanced upon this pic. :) nice? xD

tried to save some things but they seem out of grasp.

i noe i'm not good wid it.

cos hope everything will be fine aft ending it.

dun condemn anyone if u duno that's the truth.

cos wad u think ain't always the truth.

anw. was using comp while i heard my mum's and bro's conv.

*mum was singing*

bro: who's singing?

mum: me. nice??

bro: yes.

mum: wanna hear somemore?

bro: okay.

*mum continues to sing*

my mum. cute xD

烦不烦啊 :X

family background can indeed determine a person's character.

and it's sadly, true most of the times.

i've seen quite a few similar cases b4.

but no matter wad, i hope that dere's exception.

i duno how i should feel.

and i duno why but my heart just sank.

and, gonna have bf wid mum tmr ! :D

藏在心底的话并不是故意要去隐瞒，只是并不是所有的疼痛都可以呐喊

sometimes, the only way to hide the pain is to smile on. :)

the haze seems much beta now :D:D:D

Chanced upon some pics in fb. dere are more actually, but too tired to see :X

HAHA.

Here are some of the pics :D

Just in case u duno wad the last pic means,

look at the background (behind the policemen).

It shows some robbers who have just robbed the bank :x

talking to garfield abt frens can make me recall a lot of things

of how frens can leave u when u needed someone the most.

my phobia is acting up agn.

and my head, hurts agn :(

and the things u said, are getting weirder and weirder agn x.x

and, read a mini post in yahoo regarding Mas Selamat.

It's been a question mark to how he managed to escape, uncaught for more than a yr.

LOL. i agree to wad the post said.

it's like showing how the security heven been tight enough.

but at least, improvements have been made, since.

i've always thought that spore would be super super safe, but facts showed that it ain't.

no place is that safe, true.

:)

and the haze seemed loads beta now :D

heven had mac meals for more than a yr,

but wid the exception of "koping" food from frens :x

luckily i stopped consuming.

cos, the food (including burgers and fries), wun decompose for at least 6 mths.

maybe loads more yrs :x

and luckily i didnt keep eating mac

if not, i think the burger that i've eaten like 2 yrs ago might still be inside my stomach. HAHA

i'm so confused.

should i believe?

last time, i sure will.

but now, i cnt help it, but kept doubting

it's like, u told me "A" last time.

and now, u told me "B" and wanna me to believe that it's B.

that's wad u told me ytd.

but i saw the msg today.

it totally spoil my mood.

so i shouldn't say u're the only one who is capable of making me hot tempered.

it's u're the one who can make me have soooo many mixed feelings.

other ppl too actually.

and, u still can say it's a misunderstanding :/

i rmb wad ppl say okay.

so if the words are hurting, i can feel hurt for long.

i dun wanna think so much, but i cnt.

i wanna forget, but i cnt.

i tried telling myself that i dun need anyone, but i'm so wrong.

i tried telling myself that i'm strong, but i'm wrong too.

but, no matter how much i feel sad over things, things are still the same.

things are no longer the same.

ppl who were once dere, were no longer ard.

i can only embrace myself and continue bluffing myself that i can do it.

but one thing for sure is, i'll continue to try to cheer up and smile in face of sadness.

right now, i have projects to fret over.

more and more and more to come

things happened to show me that i'm not as strong as i think i am.

and btw, congrats season. HAHA (Y)

who am i trying to kid?

i duno why, i duno how.

i just wanna laugh those things that had been bugging inside me, off.

but, i duno wad's bugging me either.

i noe a few, but dere's a few more, unknown.

must be optimistic.

must smile in face of sadness.

must laugh it off and find solutions.

must jiayou.

a blessing in disguise?

i'm not those kind of ppl who would think wad i wanna do or be, 10 yrs l8r.

mine is those aspirations in the near future :x

for this sem, i wanna do my rly best for my modules to achieve a high gpa.

wanna, pull up my cumu gpa.

(last sem didnt pull up much :/)

and, wanna do well for fyp.

(wanna score an 'A'- hopefully)

when i grad, i wanna learn driving (:

i noe it's slow cos everyone's strted theory test except me.

but well, i wanna focus one thing at a time.

and well, i wanna tk up a part time job too.

wanna earn money cos i dun want mum to work ):

hopefully these can be fulfilled.

will try my best though :D

and well, for other things,

they're not to be blogged here (:

cos my blog is alr v emo HAHA.

:/

good. i'm feeling beta alr ((:

i needed a hug badly recently.

and mum just hugged me xD

HAHA. i think great minds think alike rte? :P

my "talk to me or u'll die" feeling is gone.

LOLOL

i think it must be cos of fyp that stressed me up so much and from

s...

LOL.

but nvm, at least i'm trying to be beta now.

i'm so tired of being emo.

though, sometimes i rly cnt help it.

and maybe a break makes me beta?

at least, now my fb is not being spammed :/

but well, one thing for certain is,

i dun keep thinking abt bad pts of ppl alr.

except for maybe one, or two bad pts?

spinnovex results is out.

and, dere are quite a few things which i wanna say.

but dun think it's best to be said here.

maybe..

i wanted to say sth.

but think it's beta, not to

i duno why but i feel hurt when i saw the emails

Time really passes v fast.

it still seem as though i just gotten my results ytd.

the feeling seems to be still vivid in my mind.

was looking at some sec sch frens' pic just now.

and , recalled a lot of things.

those bad ones of cause.

cos dere's nth nice to reminisce.

It's just like living in nightmare for 2 yrs.

and it still seems horrifying now.

The barrier in my heart.

And, tdy, i went to fren's house for project.

in the end, everyone's late.

received a call and strted to ponder over wad courses that i shld tk.

anw, sch is strting tmr.

well, my fears are here agn.

and i'm sure, i'm the only one in the class wid this fear.

i was thinking that if i were to rly enter uni (provided that i can :/),

i will try to not let such things happen agn.

but i doubt i can succeed.

cos of xxxxxx :/

nvm. jiayou :)

I'm still trying to be happy.

trying... trying trying ...

and dere's sth which i wanted to say e other time when i saw sth.

pls dun insult ppl's name -.-

i hate it.

hate it ttm.

cnt help it and dun wanna be like this.

but i rly cnt stop it.

but well, i'll persevere.

i rly hope that i'd stop waking up countless times while slping.

it's like 3 hours of slp, i can wk up for 5-6 times :/

sometimes, i'll have this "talk to me or u'll die" feeling.

but well, it's not totally true.

cos i dun scold nor kill ppl (like in fb :/)

LOL, speaking of that, u can try using the application

"top 10 person who wants to kill u"

and i'll be inside the list :x

LOL! how laughable ;x

serious. u can try. HAHAHA

tdy's mood is rly down.

lack of slp makes me a sad person ):

i seriously needs loads of slp.

i rly rly rly feel super shagged now.

I NEED SLP.

i'm exhausted D;

no time to rest this wk.

everyday, gng out.

nxt wk onwards too.

oh bother.

recently,

i kept feeling tired, hungry (super easily), super tired to go toilet (:/),

super hot all over (feels feverish but not sick), loads of dreams,

kept dreaming abt fyp and loads more D:

shit, i'm feeling bad agn.

nvm. time to sing

7 posts in a day.

androne, we can "fight" for the number of posts alr ((:

LOL.

still, i think that u're not alone.

like me, i noe i'm not alone.

but, no matter how many frens, or even close frens i have, i still feel super lonely

i feel super scared abt certain things.

i feel super paranoid.

and i feel sad. cos no matter how much i tried to persuade myself that my life is beta than last time,

i still feel that my life still sucks.

ppl like xxx can have ppl like xxx and ppl like xxx cnt have ppl like xxxx.

i'm sorry for spamming my feelings on blog.

LOL. but wait, it's my blog.

why should i apologise for spamming my feelings ;x

HAHAH. omg.

seriously, i rly felt beta aft saying my feelings out (:

when my mum told me to buy food for my bro aft i'm released from sch,

i felt like telling her "can you ask bro to buy my food instead?"

we both have sch, yes

i understand that u're gng to work and dun have time to buy food for us.

nvm, i dun need u to buy food for me.

if no food, at most i dun eat rite?

if not, i'll have early dinner at 12 during lunch break.

normally, it's bro buy food for sis.

now it's the opposite.

i'm not saying that i cnt buy food for him.

i dun mind buying IF I DUN HAVE SCH.

u noe, i'm feeling so tired everyday

ppl have hols for 4 wks.

and i have sch as usual, even longer than schooling time.

yes, i shouldn't say anymore.

yes, it's wad everyone shld go thru.

yes, i can do it.

yes, i noe

and i'm trying

it's not that i'm not trying.

so why cnt he buy his own food?

imagine me dragging my tired body, carrying my bag, my laptop bag.

and making one round to hawker centre to buy for him

where he can easily make a trip down to e foodcourt in his sch and grab sth to eat.

i noe your concern, he wun buy food to eat.

so do i.

wad i'm not happy now is,

i have to buy for him when i have to carry so many things and when my sch ended late

and when i'm so tired.

i dun mind buying but i rly cnt decipher why...

why?

i dun wanna be so sad/ stressed up or wadeva.

but i cnt, due to stress from fyp.

i've tried to curb my stress.

but, my grp mates were feeling vvv stressed up too.

i'm not like somebody who told me "we're aiming for dist. cos we have the ability to get distinction"

k, back to topic.

tdy, my fyp mates were all stressed up till one gal from my grp said

"i can feel the tension in the room"

everyone was like me,

feeling so helpless.

at times, i rly missed the moments when i was rly happy-go-lucky.

it's not that i dun have probs.

it's just that i chose to ignore.

but i cnt choose to ignore now.

as ppl grow up, their thinking changed.

so did mine.

i cnt afford to ignore.

well, blog is the only way for me to pour out my feelings (:

i do feel beta, yes.

but only to a certain extent.

and, i rly feel like a vampire tdy

LOLL.

all my feelings are so magnified :x

as usual, i dun feel like talking.

esp when i see smses from certain ppl.

i cnt control but BAD memories (if any from anyone)

just come to mind :x

HAHAH. sry ~ ;x

k la, i'm still trying to be happy.

but i think, it's only fyp that makes me have so much feelings overwhelming me .

other than that... maybe.

cos of .....*hmm*..... :x

HAHA.

kk la. fine.

i dun feel so emo aft saying out to my blog. thankkew:D

and LOL. i suddenly tot of sth while listening to "you belong wid me" now.

i played this song during fyp.

and as the song goes..

"she wear short skirt, i wear t-shirt",

my fren went "she wear short skirt, i wear long skirt"

and i went "she wear high heels, i wear short heels". LOL.

(Y)

thank you for letting me feel so stressed up,

adding up to the stress from fyp.

thank you for letting me feel so "pale" tdy

thank you for letting me have a chance to be stalked by my fyp mates.

thank you for giving my fyp mates have sth to laugh over tdy (which i think is funny too)

thank you for making me feel so tired.

thank you for everything -.-

you noe wad, sometimes i rly question myself to why i treat some ppl so differently from the others.

just like today.

in mrt, i was feeling so awful.

and den, flashback started.

and i felt so annoyed.

i rmb once, i said "ttyl" cos i was rly busy wid my work but you still kept replying to that sms

nvm.

worse still is that u copied me -.-

and said ttyl to me the nxt day.

Aft you said that, i didnt dare to reply u, for fear of disturbing u.

BUT U STILL CONTINUED TO SMS ME.

so, i replied rte?

and u said i'm disturbing u.

WTH -.-

den when i met you the nxt time,

i asked u "do you noe the meaning of ttyl?"

and u said "talk to you"

den i'm like "uh.. wad about 'l'?"

and u gave me one guilty or blur look -.-

and i went "it's talk to you l8r"

u asked me to attend a talk wid u tdy

i rly wanted to ignore ur sms.

but i felt bad.

and i rly recalled the other time where i asked u out for a talk.

you said "sorry. i'm gng wid my other frens"

i was sooooo disappointed wid you.

cos it's like hello?

we're gng to the same talk, at the same place. why cnt we go tgt!?!?!?

i told u abt this over the phone.

and the nxt day, you smsed me.

you said "let's go to the talk tgt. since we're gng to the same talk. why not go tgt?"

and do you noe that, when u said that, i totally went '-.-'

do you only noe how to say this aft i said it?

if i didnt ask u to the talk, wun u ask me to it?

and now, when u asked me abt it,

i duno how should i feel.

happy cos i didnt noe dere's such a talk and u informed me abt it?

or disappointed cos u only noe how to ask me to the talk now, and rather last time.

or sad till i felt like saying "sorry but i am gng tgt wid my frens" (though i've not rly asked anyone to go wid me)

and do you noe that, i felt so awful, so sad, so disappointed when u're like nicer to me now?

cos it's like, you're only so nice to me NOW?

wad abt last time?

yaya, i noe u'll gimme loads of lame excuses.

LAME SHIT -.-

tsskkkkk

and well, i was thinking abt sth too.

i asked you if you're entering spinnovex.

and i expected only a 'yes/no' for a reply.

in the end,

you said sth like "entering spinnovex wun ensure u an A. our project is gng green chemistry not into industralizing. spinnovex is for team whose project can be industralized one. dere's 3-4 interview to undertake. If not up to standard, grades will drop"

i just wanna noe if u intend or even gng to spinnovex.

u dun have to tell me one whole chunk of like "hmmm..." craps.

it just reminds me of that time when i asked you "when is our sch strting?"

(we were on e phone previously)

and you said "it's like nxt wk we start sch, den this wk....."

aft saying that, i immediately cut in and asked agn "when is our sch strting?"

and u asked "you duno wad i'm saying?"

-.-

told wy abt this and i agreed wid her.

"wad's the link?"

i duno why i kept harping over u.

but i think i do noe why aft all.

cos u're still clinging on to me -.-

i dun rly mind BUT, the way u're doing it is super tsk.

even my frens laughed at wad u said.

YES, WE ALL THINK THAT IT'S LAME -.-

IT'S SUPER WTH

DO YOU NOE HOW I FEEL TDY?

I FEEL LIKE DELETING MY FB.

and loads more unhappiness.

i feel like deleting that blog.

AND BTW, IT'S SO OBVIOUS.

ARE U DOING ALL THESE,

cos u dun understand gals?

cos u dun wanna try to think abt how i feel?

cos u duno wad i'm trying to imply?

cos u duno wad else to do?

cos u're trying to salvage things?

and.. i dun see that

"have a nice day ahead" can rly lemme have a nice day ahead -.-

thank you for saying it's lame, les.

COS I AGREE.

HAHAHA!

i dun want to "jiu chan bu qing" :/

currently in sch having fyp.

so tired.

but i can only do report :x heh.

and.. i'm so cold !

sch's strting soon

aft like 3 wks of hols which totally dun seem like holidays to me:(

but nvm.

must jy.

last sem alr.

jyjyjyjyjy

Ignore my post if u want.

i'm only saying how i feel.

i felt beta saying it to my blog, serious.

but b4 i continue posting, i wanna say, i'm not emoing (:

just having overwhelming feelings (:

..... ....... ....... ....... ........ ......... ............

i wanna clarify some things.

i DUN get irritated easily by ppl or things.

UNLESS they kept doing irritating things.

it's like, if u do sth annoying once or twice or even thrice,

i rly wun rmb anything much

though it might affect me or my mood.

i just let it past.

but if u kept doing it,

i'll rly get irritated easily by u.

even if u did a rly small irritating thing.

but, the bad memories of things will diminish soon, over the time.

still, still, dere's a limit to my patience.

sometimes, when i tot back.

i rly felt so stupid.

so stupid to let ppl make use of my blurness -.-

and letting ppl tk things for granted.

i always tend to give chances when ppl did sth bad for the first few timesssss

yes, i noe . I'm rly slow at knowing things

i'm rly slow at knowing ppl's character.

i only ppl certain ppl are weird.

but only aft like 7 mths, den i strt to only noe a certain ppl's character.

how sad rte? :(

but some ppl, i can see aft like a few mths (lesser than 7 mths i think)

ya, ya. i noe i'm slow.

and i'm slow at finding ppl irritating.

i can only strt to find ppl irritating aft like mths.

when they kept doing irritating things.

serious.

idk if it's a gd thing or a bad one.

even my fyp mate called me goondo.

yeah i noe i'm blur.

and i rly dislike ppl who tk things for granted.

when sth/ someone is dere,

u tk for granted and even flirt ard.

being irresponsible.

told some of my frens abt u and they dislike u.

but i didn't.

i only strted to feel turn off aft like a yr +++++

SLOW RTE?

YES I NOE.

but it dun matter.

i dun feel angry

i'm just.. sad abt how things turned out.

i'm rly happy tdy

had our interview tdy and my leader said the cost of our product will be 8k plus x.x

OMG.

gg alr. dun think we can get into the spinnovex.

and went out aft that.

i was so happy xD

cos it's like.. we all can relax for the day.

kept my happy mood till i saw sth ):

sighs.

but it's okay. i'm fine.

and happy bday vincent.

happy, happy bday.

happy.

happy happy.

:/

anw, dere's sth inside me that's not happy wid certain thingsssss

LOLOL, even my fren told me to get a bf.-.-

but i dun want

i dun want, dun want, dun want !!! ;x

a nice date, dun means things will be nice as well.

and a bad date dun means things will be bad :x

HAHA.

i love today.

it's so slack.

cos i can do my fyp slowly at home.

it's tmr !

hmm, just a small interview.

our design ain't that much done yet.

companies didnt get back to me ):

i need quotations !!

or could it be that they ignore my email cos i've sent them too many quotations :x

HAHA.

i want kboxkboxkbox xD xD xD

LOLOL

i played my songs while having fyp ytd and just sang.

cos i noe those songs.

and my fren was saying "this has becomes cher eng's kbox"

but they didnt pronounce properly and sounds like 'kpop'

so i went blur and said "kpop? nono. i'm listening to cpop."

den in the end, i realized that they were talking abt kbox ;x

singing is LOVE :D:D:D

things, always looks so much nicer on the surface (:

and i dun like it when ppl judge others b4 knowing them beta.

anw, me and sj are gonna be a vase tmr.

HAHAHA.

soooo.. jy hk. just TALK ;x

wayne will be dere to help. HAHA.

if it comes to components, i can help

so, tmr will be wearing formal wear agn.

so not gonna wear that shoe agn ;x

if not, i'll have to walk barefooted back home agn.

HAHHA

hmm, why are u still calling me that? :/

why are u still saying those things?

i've tried to ignore but things are still the same. oh wells.

anw. i'm so happy that i can kinda slp in late tmr.

and.. i wanna watch "vampire diaries"

hadn't been watching it for 2 wks.

so, it means i've missed out 2 eps :x

finally went in to check and indeed, 2 new eps are out :D

i can watch !!!

:D

wee. rly happy now.

anw.. sometimes, i just kinda laughed at ur sms.

cos the way u reply me is super funny.

cos it's like. u sms me 2 different smses.

since i was super busy recently, i check my smses vvv late.

so when i saw them, i replied the 2 answers tgt.

and my sms is super short.

which goes sth like "yep i noe. ooh. okok. thanks"

den you'll split my smses and reply me 2 different smses :x

funny actually ;x

and anw.

i think u only told waiyu the truth.

cos.. i truly doubt that u told ur frens the truth too.

-.-

and seriously, i rly dislike ppl who self praise.

if it's just a joke, it's fine.

but if it's like for interview and u need to self praise, it's fine too.

cos if u think u're " a beautiful package, full of humor, talent, intelligence and love",

ppl might not think the same way too.

just wadeva it is, i dun like ppl who self praise.

i'm soo impressed by wad u said.

my presence in my life has the greatest impact for me -.-

i'm super exhausted.

sooooo envious when i saw my fren comment that she's so free and nth to do for her fyp ):

cos it's like, i'm slogging my guts out for fyp and she's slacking like abc over dere ):

how i wish i were in her grp. so i can slack too?

but wait...nope. i'd still rather be in my current grp.

at least they're trying v hard to do their things.

i need a long long rest.

but i'm so prepared to end my fyp at 10 PM tmr.

yes. from 9.30 am.

or maybe.. 9 am.

super exhausted.

super shag.

monday's interview will be a kinda small one i guess. 10%

but... still, it's 10 marks.

kinda a high score too.

i wanna slp soon.

bt i cnt.

i needa do some housework too.

but, clothes are still vvvv wet. ):

i cnt do any.

went to slp at 8 ytd.

was super tired that i fell asleep the moment i close my eyes.

and yet, i had to be woken up at 10.30

to see 3 smses and 2 missed calls.

it's like..hey, if i see ur sms and weren't busy,

i'll SURE reply rte?

i didn't reply.

and dere'll be 2 possibility.

busy or asleep.

or maybe even.. didnt check hp.

although being busy has a higher possibility,

you cnt rule out the fact that i'm asleep.

i seriously.. seriously dun understand why u have to call me twice for sth so minor.

it's not like u have to get the answer NOW rite?

plus, no matter how busy i am, or even asleep,

i'd still see ur sms at the end of the day.

unless i saw ur sms and forget to reply, which is possible.

you can still sms me like during afternoon, the nxt day ):

kk fine. maybe i shouldn't even get annoyed for being woken up.

:/

but... i was rly feeling so irritated ytd.

tried to slp.. but cnt.

aft 30mins of tossing ard in bed.

i got up to walk ard the hse and went back to slp.

my mind was super active den.

before wking up, i didnt have a nice and calm slp, to be frank.

but when i was woken up,

my mind was full of grievance, those bad memories of u kept flashing past.

i felt so tired and rly felt like crying but i didnt.

it's like, the past is haunting aft me agn.

so i tried vvv hard to clear my mind and concentrate on slping

but aft 2 hrs, i still cnt slp.

):

and finally, i fell asleep at nearing one am.

what a night.

Sometimes, i'm rly confused.

super confused.

wheneva i see ur effort,

my mind just cnt stop thinking of how bad u were to me last time.

i seriously shouldn't give u chancesssss back den.

i duno why i were still so hopeful.

how silly.

:/

but well,

now when u rly did try..

i just felt that..

you did all these, just cos u felt it's a waste.

maybe, it's cos of other "romantic" reasons but..

i truly, seriously, really felt that..

was u're doing now,

are cos you felt that it's a waste to end things that way,

after 1 yr ++

and.. i'm constantly worrying that u'll shoot ur mouth off,

and saying things, that were so untrue.

so, so unreal.

i seriously cnt stand ur attitude of saying that i felt and even saying things

when i DIDNT.

it happened b4 and the things that u said, regarding wad i said and even feel,

are actually what YOU are feeling and saying.

it's super... "dots"

i noe, u have ur redeeming points too.

and i always, constantly tell myself abt e gd points you have.

but i always failed.

cos, wheneva i tried doing that,

you did sth negative.

sometimes, the reasons, or even excuses that u told me..

are SUPER SUPER CRAP.

i think i should call myself stupid..

to deceive myself into believing u.

though i noe, they are rly craps.

i'm truly very tired.

exhausted.

shagged.

and whatever pool of vocabulary that u can find

it's not once, not twice, not thrice.

it's not even four times. but at least 5 times i think :x

heh.

was irritated ytd nite.

but well, it's okay.

my mood is slowly picking up.

i have loads of things to do, to think abt :D

not gng to let this affect me agn.

JIAYOU :D

anw. i dun feel like talking.

i wanna go kbox :D:D:D

i wanna sing all out

sometimes, i just think

that it hurts to noe tht you tried to salvage when u didn't even cherish in the first place.

i hate myself.

dere's nth redeeming abt me.

i tried.

maybe not hard enough.

but at least, i'm trying.

kk apart from fyp.

i'm trying to become a beta daughter.

trying to curb. and i did :P

i felt so useless, worrying abt it.

stupid CATIA.

why didn't i have this module?

so at least, i can noe a lot more abt it and do sth to contribute.

right now, wad i can do, are those research, report, log book, quotations.

those minor things.

wad my frens do, are those designs.

i wanna help too.

even ideas, i cnt come up wid any.

i noe nuts abt engineering.

even simple ideas, simple thinking..

i oso duno.

i felt so guilty, but they duno.

i wanna help.

tried gng to youtube but cnt learn much too.

yes, at least i noe how to draw a box -.-"

and make holes.

but fyp ain't so easy like doin that.

u need loads more designs.

tssskkkkk.

sometimes i just wondered if i'm doin and speaking the right thing.

you have told and asked me umpteen times.

told you alr, I NOE.

I WILL TRY.

if can, den go. if cnt, den dun force it.

it's okay to repeat urself.

but u're doing it almost everyday :/

u'll see true frens in times of trouble.

thanks :D

i'm so touched. LOL! :D

still, i went to see ur fb.

and teary eyes began :/

i love the twitter's zodiacfact xD

okay, i think this is a vvv late post, but..... still, i wanna thank my frens :D

thank you for all that gave me sth for my bday :D

i noe i have thank u guys b4.. but i still wanna thanks all for wishing me a happy bday.

thanks stan, waiyu, jer for coming down and for e prezzies.

thanks class for the present.

thanks py for the uss and the presentsssssssss.

thanks witch les for the card :D:D:D
many much appreciated :D

and.. went out wid the plurkers tdy :D:D:D
it's a crazy day as usual.

i laughed until stomach's super pain

but when i'm wid kang kong, i wun laugh till that crazy :D

that's gd. cos i can calm down. LOL!!!!

lunched at astons and.. bowled :D

okay, at least my score now is beta than my bowling last time.

but still, i cnt hit my highest score ):

but all in all, it's a super fun time chatting and gng out wid dem.

:D

wonder when will the nxt outing be. and.. i dun have the pics wid me ;x

cnt upload in blog. ;x

and. went to uss ytd for the first time.

the place is nice (:

seriously, it dun gives me the feeling of being in spore.

but dere's nth inside for me to eat ;x

but well. it's still (Y) :D:D:D:D

a super nice experience ^^

life rly sucks. :(

i feel sooooo dependent on ppl now ):

sighs.

pls stop quarreling D:

it truly affect our progress.

plus, u 2 are a couple.

and u should rly curb ur anger.

cos from wad i see, the two of u MAY (not?) be in the wrong BUT

u should truly curb ur anger.

for the beta of our project.

and... for ur r/s

this yr is a year where my gadgets spoil like mad ):
first is one hp. kept spoiling. i kept sending for repair during the first yr warranty.

sent it for repair, one day b4 the warranty ends and received it one day aft warranty ends,

and it spoilt agn :(

so nvm, i use another phone.

this phone seldom spoils.

bt it still spoil aft all ):

now using my previous previous phone D:

eee ): sighs.

but nvm. at least still can use.

at least has camera. cos i need it for sch work.

and now, my comp seems to have prob too ): oh bother bother bother D:

i got sad when u mentioned "tie"

cos it's an unaccomplished task ):

i seriously dun understand guys.

okay, some.

and... LOL. i still felt ur smses weird.

had been ignoring almost all ;x *oops*

HAHA.

like waiyu said .. it's like his fren trying to help him sms ;x

i noe it's not but i too felt that it seems like it

HAHAA

and.. i dun think anyone has a right to insult and criticize when u're angry.

it's seriously super sickening.

things happened for a reason (:

and sometimes, things changed.

and it's normally due to the fact that many things happened,

not just one

speechless

sometimes, i felt so guilty for making ppl's life worse.

and.. u got cut. idk if it's cos of me. but u said it's cos that u're thinking of sth.

):

i'm sorry, bt hmmm. indirectly? HAHA.

i hope i rly did the right thing.

i felt relieved, no doubt.

but dere's sth within me..

which stops me from being totally happy.

but well, i didn't rly feel happy either.

i oso duno how i'm feeling.

i guess, i was feeling to tired to feel anything ;x

heh. btw. it's the holiday !

but well, it still ain't the hols for me.

):

知人知面不知心。

我一向来都很信任你，但是，

日旧见人心。

我自己心知肚明就好 (:

算了。我已看开了许多。

心也已决定了。

many thanks waiyu ((:

wad i rly need is, a fren who'd listen to my sorrows

and giving me opinions.

and i glad i have frens like that.

but i dun dare to keep telling them things.

cos i dun wanna bother them much wid stuffs like that.

cos, i believe that i can think for myself.

it's my life, my future.

i have the absolute right for every single thing that i've decided to do.

nth will sway my determination this time, i hope.

all the best.

加油加油加油！

sometimes, i duno if it's good to be easily happy over little things.

i noe it's gd. but i dun think it is, all the times, rite? :/

life is kinda happy for me, these few days.

cos i rly appreciate things that ppl have done for me.

even if it's just a happy bday wish..

to be frank, i felt so unwanted on the dot of my bday.

i felt soo sad.

but my mood turned for the better when i saw so many wishes in fb.

yes, i'm rly happy to see those wishes.

for as long as i live, dere's sth deep down in me, which is so afraid of things, a certain thing.

i think i knew what it is. i think, i think i knew.

and it just haunts me.

and i rly dun wanna anyone to leave me, esp those that i love.

so that's why, i'm in such a dilemma.

but, if things ain't meant to be, i understand.

and if ppl wanna leave my life, so be it.

i'm so tired of being paranoid everytime.

though i noe, i'm always paranoid.

last nite, i had been thinking..

thinking a lot till i cnt slp.

didnt reply the last sms cos i wanted to be quiet for that particular moment.

eyes wanted to rest, but brain dun.

eyes were so tired, mind too i guess.

but it wun stop operating.

and i had a weird dream. it's weird i noe.

but i cnt rmb wad it is.

i rly dun want anyone to leave me.

though, leaving is part and parcel of life.

i really dun... dun want.

it's irony.

BUT ANW. ALL THE BEST PUP !!!! HOPE U CAN GET IN :D

i'm always slow at things, i noe.

but at least, i'm truly contented wid wad i have.

and i love all my frens *loves*

look at things at another angle and things, truly will be so much beta.

i guess, i'm back to my positive side agn.

like finally :D

i shouldn't have asked for more (:

thank you for tdy :D

谢谢。你们有心了。:D

things ain't always as easy as ABC,

wid so many complications ard (:

I MISS THE PLURKERS

HAHAH i want outing xD but whennnnn???? D:

confused :/

feels so relaxed now xD

but only for now,

cos i needa get back to fyp soon ):
awww. how mood damper D:

but i'll persevere :D:D:D !!

exam is finally over xD

was so happy and went out wid coursemates tdy :D

heard the "train is coming" music agn and i rly felt like laughing.

cos it rly sounds sooo funny ;x

F: you rly laugh so easily hor

S: it's a gd thing wad.

F: ya, easily "containted"

me: *huh? shen me lai de?*

S: is easily contented la.

LOL

F: aiya, it's the same thing

fren took part in NYNY's challenge.

:D and .. i left just 10 b4 the competition ended.

i think he cmi :x HAHA

and went to find waiyu aft that :D

why are u so temperamental?

you changed so fast, that i rly duno wad to do.

just cos of wad?

of sth minor?

den why issit that u have to give attitude.

i'm sure u wun do that to him,

but hey, why me!

always lidat.

to think that i'm still so naive to think that u'll change.

e prob could lie in me too,

but still, u dun have to be lidat.

feel beta now :DD

life sucks, big time ):
i seem to have probs wheneva i go..

okok, everyone else too HAHA

this feeling sucks ttm.

i noe i'll be fine tmr :D

IF I DUN ON HP -.-

had been seeing a lot of craps recently.

tsk. i wanna ignore. but i cnt.

irritating loads.

i hate this -.- TSK.

i hate having second thoughts.

nvm. waiyu !!!

talk to u aft exams.

we discuss :P

HAHAHA :x

LOL

just back home.

went out for a while wid mum.

and it's like.. i forgot it's the seventh month

so i just said "gia liao" (let's go)

and mum was like looking at me *shh dun say that*

i was like *oops* when i heard wad she said.

i went "mai follow"

mum: they dun understand english

me: they dun understand hokkien too :D

had two papers tdy.

theoretical..

and.. my 2 worst subs.

and dere's one more elearning this fri.

one of my worst sub ):

while doin my exams..

sth came into mind.

and i just tot over wad happened.

i just stunned dere.

mind blank, staring in front of me.

it's been 3-4 yrs le.

so long alr.

so long... no pt thinking over it agn rte?

yes i noe. but my mind just wanna think.

wad can i do?

if i have amnesia, things wld be beta.. wouldn't it?

or would it not?

i dun wanna think.

but wheneva i see you, you, you, you, you..... and you.. and....... a lot more of you..

i just think.

i just wanna run away.

just turned my back.

it's so tiring.

to have it haunting aft me.

this is the one thing which i've told no one abt it and dun intend to.

so i can only rant it here.

thanks blog for tking in the "impact"

no one should listen to me. so i tend to keep things to myself :D it's a gd thing too actually. and cos sometimes, i just feel emo suddenly that it'll be so tiring for them to listen to my rantings over and over agn

and sometimes, i just kept thinking....

... if i should give up

argh. idk why. but now, i see everyone so fine ard me.

fine as in.. dere's nth i dun like abt them ):

一种说不出的感觉。。。

this feeling sucks.

really sucks.

whenever i tot of giving this up,

a voice inside me, told me not to give up., not to give up, not to give up.

many things are making me sad.

was kinda shocked that my sec sch fren came to talk to me in fb and msn !

HAHA. we shared our love story.

and well, me and him.. AAHAHA.

had abt the same sad story.

but his is sadder.

cos to me, the gal is like two timing. so evil.

AND WAIT.. NONO. THIS IS NOT ANOTHER EMO BLOG POST :P

hahaha !!!

well, stupid things happened.

and it's not that i dun wanna reply.

it's just that i'm too tired from so many things.

so i tend to ignore and give slower replies.

if not, i'll sure sound super moody while talking to u and u.

which i dun want that to happen.

i've tried to put myself in ur shoes.

yes, i can understand ur feelings..

but it's that, i seriously dun understand y u dun understand..

though u kept saying that u do.

so well, den dere's nth much for me to tell u le.

just hope u can truly be happy.

instead of trying to be happy on the outside.

so wad if u are trying to stop posting more emo posts?

u're still emo.

wad's the pt?

and....... we nvr ignore u cos u emo.

we're not that unreasonable.

for the real reason, we've told u.

but u still dun understand. so uh well..

forget it :D

and... yup. exams are nearing..

but b4 that,

dad allows me to change phone plan xD

i wanna try to find a cheaper plan.

but i doubt i can.

any intro?? :D

and cos of this, i suddenly became v happy tdy

and maybe it's cos i had a longer slping time.

slept for 12 hrs.

though in between, i woke up to make cough med for mum.

hope her coughing gets beta.

i'm so happy so happy so happy xD

i wanna sing ~~ :D

if only kbox is free :x

HAHAHAHA !!! omg :x

nicole, must be happy okay !!!!! ytd is emo day. tdy happy day :p

and grace, hahahaha !!!!! that crazy gal :p

LOVE THE 2 OF U xD HAHAHA

wanna have an outing wid e 2 of u soon xD

and i love the msn conv on the day b4 ytd.

I LAUGHED LIKE MAD !!!!

and the elmo in me ran away xD

though it came back the nxt day.

due to lack of slp i think :x